~ 1 day later~
It happened within moments of uploading the video, the comments. At first you were happy to read them, like you had done previously as a viewer. But after the first couple you know it was a bad idea.
"Who is she? What the hell is this bitch doing with Dan?" 73 thumbs up.
"She's so ugly! WTF? Why is Dan friends with her?" 156 thumbs up
Reply - "Maybe they're more than friends?
Reply - "no way would dan date that.
Reply - ikr? wth is he thinking?!
You left soon afterwards, even though Dan had apologised and told you it was only a handful of viewers, it made the thoughts in your head spin. And knowing they were right just hurt you even more.
You considered staying with Dan, to distract yourself, but your mind was screaming and no amount of distraction would clear up the thick fog. Maybe except one thing.
One thing you regretted as soon as the blade slipped into your skin. The relief was enough to fill your core for a few moments, but his chocolate eyes would fall on top of you like a dead weight and you stopped. Cleaning your thighs you sigh, dropping the bloodied sharpener blade into the sink. Scatters of crimson dripping from your fingers and down your legs.
The screaming had finally stopped, but his eyes were louder than ever.
You heard the familiar ring of your skype and answered with a plastered grin to your mother, keeping the camera on the top half your as you wiped yourself down.
"Hey, sweet pea," your mother began, a shred of hurt and confusion lining her (Eye Colour) orbs " I just got a call from, Louise, and she said you haven't been in a couple weeks." Louise was your new councillor. You met her through your old one, back in Australia, you trusted that one, she had warm eyes, and soft skin. You didn't trust Louise her eyes were a coal black, judging your arms and the words that slipped from your lips. Her fingers gave you frostbite every time they went in for what was meant to be a comforting touch.
You shuddered at only the thought of her wrinkled aging face.
"I don't trust her mum..." You began but she quickly shushed you with a harsh look. Looking down at your lap in shame you nodded simply and promised to go to the next scheduled appointment.
Your mum asked you if you had called up that cute boy she told you about a week ago and you told her truthfully, you weren't interested, and especially if he's half way across the world. Why would you go for someone thousands of miles away when someone perfect was only a metres away?
The thought slipped into your head casually and you cheeked danced in flames. You said a quick goodnight to your mum and hung up, looking over at the pastel pale white of your door. Debating whether or not to go over to Dan again you sighed. An annoying itch snaking its way up your neck.
Just as you went to walk over to the door an angelic voice scattered its way to your ears.
"(Name)?" he began, almost weakly and unsure. You knew why almost immediately, you checked his last video comments again and saw more spiteful attacks against you. You had cried, a lot, and it showed in your eyes. Red and puffy, you were glad your mum didn't question it. "Can I come in?"
You bit your lip nervously as butterflies attacked your stomach, you sighed and made your way over to the door.
Dan made you smile, he made you laugh until your stomach hurt. He smelled incredible and your hand fit perfectly inside his warm palms. He ran wild across your head day and night, his creamy chocolate eyes haunted you and he always made a way to slip a comment into your day. Comments you were on the edge of your seat to hear.
There was no doubt about it. You were in love.
Not just with Danisnotonfire, with Dan. Daniel Howell, the boy that made your stomach clench and your heart pound.
And as you timidly opened the door, and as you locked eyes with him, a thought crossed your mind. The way he always needed to touch you, the way he was always looking at you, the sound of your name on his tongue, maybe he, just maybe he had the same feelings for you?
Just maybe, Dan loved you too.
YOU ARE READING
Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader)
Fanfiction"I'm sorry," he began, stepping forward "I couldn't say this over the phone. I couldn't. I just... I was so happy!" Your face fell, you were sitting here, dreading everything you had ever done, and he was happy. "When you told me, my heart stopped...
