Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader)

Three Empty Words - Shawn Mendes

Oh look! I Finally updated ! enjoy~

Warmth.

That's what you felt, warmth from the sun as it seeped through your brand new white blinds, that sparkled slightly with the reflection of it, warmth from the thick covers that cradled your body as you slept peacefully, warmth from the strong arm, securely tightened around your waist, the pointed nose buried in your neck, his hot breath leaving shivers against you collar bones.

You played your fingers between Dan's brown locks, and sighed contently into him. He stirred slightly, and groaned, pushing further into you. You giggled, your skin on his skin.

"Dan... Honey..." you whispered, trying to wake him up.

"five more minutes." He murmured, his groggy morning voice, husky and rough in your ears.

"you said that five minutes ago." You urged. And nudged your knee against his leg.

"yeah. Yeah." He groaned and sat up, you pulled the covers over your bare chest to save some privacy, you didn't know why though, Dan had seen your every curve, your every edge, every indent and every structure, and you had seen his. And the passionate night you two had shared, still plagued your mind with indecency.

To you, it felt like you had spent years with Dan, when in fact, your relationship had started a mere 4 months ago, and today marked the day of your 8-month anniversary of moving in across from him.

Some things you weren't used to, him making you breakfast in the morning, you uninvited, walking into his and Phil's apartment, with your key. Yes, your key.

And some things, you couldn't wait to get used to, the smell of Dan on your sheets, the warmth he brought with him everywhere you went. The soft feeling of his hair between your fingers, and his smile in the mornings.

And finally, there were some things you'd never get used to, having someone to talk to, someone to stop you doing what you did, and someone to thumb your scars gently and lovingly.

Although it was your dream, you still hadn't truly opened up to Dan. And he understood you never truly would. Some things were meant to be buried, and never dug up again.

There were good things and bad things about being in a relationship with Dan, a majorly good thing would be that the voices, had lessoned drastically, obviously they were still there, tormenting you when you were alone, or in the dark without a hand to hold. But the shrieking insults and the daily torture, was no longer a problem, because you had someone to cancel out the brutal curses, with beautiful compliments.

But, a majorly bad thing, was that the viewers despised you, and in a way, had replaced the voices. You had proved 'Phan' to be wrong, and you had stolen, accordingly to the fans, their Dan. But that was only a handful of obnoxious girls and boys, the majority seemed to adore you, and your relationship and there were already compilations and montages of you two.

You were scheduled to go back to Australia, in a couple weeks, and Dan was already packing, Phil two. Your mother had graciously, paid for their tickets, and encouraged them to come visit. The whole time, the cheesy grin hadn't left your face, as you watched Dan befriend your mother.

You were happy for once, and your councillor had noticed it too, they stopped your medication, only for a short while, to test it out, to see if Dan could be a stand in and be your happy pill. They had said things like "be sure not to let your world revolve around him, because if one day you do lose him, will we lose you as well?"

And that questioned had stuck with you. Sure, Dan was your life line, but you would be fine, if he were to move on, you understood, and you still had, Kiwi, and Phil, your mother, and surely Dan would always be a friend.

But that question still stuck with you. You could think what you like, but in reality, It's completely different.

You swallowed hard, and sighed, shoving your face back into the soft fluffy white pillow, dreamy sleep pulling you back.

"(Name)!" you mother squealed as she wrapped her arms around you, the blaring heat from the Australian sun made you sweat, and the tightness of your mother's hug just made you stuffy.

Pulling away, Dan moved in to greet her in person, and the two casually started a conversation. Phil yawned next to you, and grinned.

"that flight was killer." He mumbled and you nodded, a soft smile contouring your face as you watched your mother's eyes light up in Dan's presence.

"You've got to do it again in two weeks." You reminded and Phil groaned loudly, which caught your mothers attention, and sparked a conversation between the two, Phil awkwardly rubbing the back of his pale neck. Dan moved to your side, pulling you under his arm and placing a soft kiss on the side of your head.

"she loves you already, I can see it." You smiled, looking up at him, and he smiled back.

"that's good, I was shitting myself on the flight, scared she'd hate me."

"no, I think that was just the odd smelling sushi you had in the airport." You joked and poked his stomach.

"oh shut up." He ruffled your hair, and Phil and your mother walked inside.

"You must be tired, I'll show you to our room." Dan grabbed both of your bags, and followed you in.

You slipped upstairs, quickly avoiding your mother and showed Dan your room, as you opened your door, you didn't realise, that waiting on the other side, was the cause of all your misery, and pain, and torture. The face of your suffering sat with an evil twisted smirk, waiting on your bed.