"Babe, maybe you should just ask him." Kiwi pointed out, plopping another singular fry between her cherry coated lips.
"I can't do that!" you exclaimed dramatically, slamming your hands down on the couch, you were currently sitting on, facing Kiwi your legs folded underneath you. Kiwi had offered to cook dinner, and for once you allowed her access to your kitchen, but when you got home from your counselling early you found her elbow deep in take away bags. You pretended like you didn't notice and you didn't comment on the MacDonald's ketchup packets she had given you for dip.
"Why?" Kiwi groaned, obviously not liking this talk about Dan and she had grudgingly admitted she liked him once upon a time, before she met Elliot, her cheating scumbag of a rich husband.
"Because, if it wasn't something really really important! He would have told me!" you growled, and thinking that sentence over in your thick crowded head again you realised it didn't make sense. If it was something important why hadn't he told you?
Obviously it was bothering him...
You're not worth it.
He doesn't trust you.
Who would? Look at her.
You quickly gulped down the tight lump in your throat and began to clear up the plates, Kiwi slumped down further in the sofa, watching Friends on the TV.
You felt your stomach began to build with that horrid feeling. Like you were going to throw up, and really needed to, but you never did. The jitters in your heart when you thought of it and the familiar twist in your gut. You hadn't met this friend in a while.
Anxiety.
You quickly placed the dishes in the sink and washed your hands.
Drying the damp wetness of your skin on your black skinny jeans, you grabbed your keys and jogged across the hall.
Both you and Dan had exchanged house keys, in case the other needed something like the first time you had met. And today was Thursday, Dan was out with PJ, Phil decided to stay in and film some more videos. So quickly tucking a piece of your curled (Hair Colour) behind your hair, you slipped Dan's apartment key into his lock and trudged to Phil's room.
"Phil!" you called out, wringing your hands. Ever since the kiss with Phil, you'd been a lot more confident around and with him.
"(Name)?" you heard a quizzical voice call out and you opened the door to Phil's room to see him sitting in front of the camera. You waved at him, knowing you weren't in shot and gestured with your eyes if he could talk. He nodded quickly, smiling his boyish grin and switching off his camera. You plopped down next to him on the bed and sighed.
"What's up?" he asked, hugging his knees. You looked down, and shook your head.
"I don't know..." you choked and Phil quickly jumped into action, wrapping his slim arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. You sniffled quickly, like a little girl, not wanting to cry over something you didn't remember.
"You know when we got totalled a c-couple days ago." You stammered, pushing him off you a little bit.
"yeah?" he nodded, his baby blue eyes growing in size, and swimming with uncertainty. And then, it clicked.
"you know don't you." Phil froze. "Oh my god!" you jumped up and away from him, "you know!" you pointed accusingly.
"know what?" Phil grimaced, trying to act innocent.
"Don't play idiot, idiot! Dan told you! He told you what happened between us that night!" your mouth hung open like a dying fish, the anxiety swimming away and being replaced with bubbling brewing anger.
"(Name) –" he began but you cut him off.
"Dan told you, someone that is probably irrelevant to what happened between us, and not me?!" you asked to no one in particular
"We kissed." A monotone voice asked from behind you. You whipped around, causing whip lash to strike your neck. Your hair smacked you in the face, bringing up a brilliant blush.
His voice, saying those two words, made your heart erratic and your mind tumbling.
"We what?" you choked on your own spit at the thought.
Dan wouldn't kiss you.
No one would kiss you.
Who would want to?
Ugly skank.
"We kissed. I kissed you. You kissed me back." Dan growled, running a hand through his brown floppy fringe.
Your eyes widened and a hand went to your lips, like you could feel his soft ones still on yours.
And then, it all came rushing back in a blurry mess.
"holy... Shit." You swore. "we... kissed." You clarified, and Dan nodded, Phil awkwardly leaving the room.
"And remember when Kiwi arrived? There was something I wanted to tell you." Dan strode up to you in three long steps, his chest brushing yours. Your mind went wild, thoughts and fantasies boiling out your ears, you simply locked eyes with him.
"It's something very important..." He leaned down to your ear, his hand drawling around your waist, sharply pulling you into his burning chest. You gasped at the contact. The sexual tension suddenly jumping your bones. You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry and speechless.
"can you guess what it is?" he teased, his lips brushing your neck, just below the ear. You shivered in delight, placing your palms on his firm chest.
"y-you... you want your house key back?" you gulped again, seeing as that was the only you could do as his hands palmed your waist and back. Just like your dream...
"no..." Dan chuckled against your skin, he pulled back, placing a warm hand against your cheek and savouring the hot lustful look in your crazed eyes.
"(Name). I love you."
YOU ARE READING
Hopeless (Dan Howell X Reader)
Fanfiction"I'm sorry," he began, stepping forward "I couldn't say this over the phone. I couldn't. I just... I was so happy!" Your face fell, you were sitting here, dreading everything you had ever done, and he was happy. "When you told me, my heart stopped...
