The Book of Poetry in the Back of My Cabinet

Death...

I love my youth,
the feeling of immortality it gives me.
Running around you know,
enjoying the world I live in,
"tasting the rainbows" and crap like that.
I wish this could I stay this young forever.
But, no.
No, eventually I'll get old and wrinkly.
I'll have gray hair and no (real) teeth.
I'd sit on my front porch reminiscing about the olden days and say things like,
"Ooo wee!! I feel a storm coming! " and
"Hmph, that ain't no music. Back in my day, now that was some reeeeaaal music."
Yea, that's gonna suck.
I'd have aches in places
I didn't even know were there,
and after all that wonderful elderliness,
I get to die.
I get to be put into a 6-foot hole in the ground
and have microorganisms eat away at my flesh and bone
until I become nothing.
Maybe there's some type of after life, maybe not.
I dunno.
I think about death a lot, way too often for it to be healthy I believe.
But how can I help it?
I wonder about it, what might happen to me.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna burn for eternity just because its hard for me to believe in a higher power.
I don't wanna become someone else with no knowledge of who I used to be.

I don't wanna no longer exist.

There are so many religions;
how do I know which one's right?
How do I know if I'll be reincarnated into something else?
I mean, what if the hippies are right and life really is just an illusion?
How am I supposed to not believe that
When its over, its just over.

When its over, I'll never get to see my family again.
When its over, I'll never get to hear music again.
When its over, I won't be able to ride my bike on a Saturday morning.
When its all over, I'll just be nothing.

And after all this, all this- this living,
This enjoying the world, I'd be nothing.

It would all count for nothing.