The Book of Poetry in the Back of My Cabinet

What I am...

I am black;

I am rebellious.
I stand up for what I believe in
No matter who hates me for it.
I love fried chicken
and watermelon
Not because I'm black
But because I don't have a very healthy diet.
I do believe that black lives matter
As do white, hispanic, asian 
And so on and so forth.
I believe that there are some white people

Who have it just as bad as black people.
There are Mexican crack heads sitting right beside

Black crack heads, sitting right beside white crack heads
All of whom's fathers were never there 
And mother's were neglectful of them.

I don't hate the word 'nigga'
Unless its used to hurt
Because a word is just a word
And, just like cigarettes and religion,
Its been here long enough that its not going anywhere.

I am a woman.
I have beauty
Not the average beauty of a perfect face
Or even a decent face
But beauty that tradition has refused to honor.

I am a woman
And I have done things that I regret
I have kept quiet when I should've screamed.
I've been touched in places I didn't want to be touched;

I've had things in my mouth that I didn't want to suck
And in other parts of my body that I was just too young to protect.

I have destroyed blessings
Because the painful way I got them was just too much.

I've been in scary situations
Where I didn't trust the ones that loved me the most

Where I was afraid that the man who raised me would-

But he didn't

And I know that he wouldn't.

But I just couldn't trust.

I've been in situations where things just got a little too creepy
And I had to figure out the right place to kick a man
Because I've had that before

And I will never, ever
Let it happen again.

I am a lesbian.
I am mysterious, forbidden.
My type of love is a hot, sexy

Abomination.

I can't kiss the one I love
Because I might make someone uncomfortable.
I can't tell a girl how I feel
Because then she'd be afraid of me,
But she, she can kiss me when she's drunk

And behind her boyfriend's back
And I won't tell
Because I love her
So I'll take any thing she'll give me.

My friends (and family)
don't understand that there are various types
Various kinds, various shades
Of beautiful,

That I can feel pretty in bootcut jeans and a t-shirt
That a button-down for me is a wedding gown for them.
That, just because I compliment you,
doesn't mean I want you.

I am a black, lesbian woman

And I can not, will not, could not, would not, SHOULD NOT

Change

For anyone.