Taming His Mistress [Revised]

(16) Visiting My Demons

Angeline's POV:

I laid there reading a book while Shadow snoozed in my arms. It was quite peaceful watching him sleep. This wasn't my standard aftercare. However, this was different. I've gotten so used to doing scenes with submissives who are already collared by someone else. Shadow needed to release the stress he's been holding in. This poor guy is broken. Only knowing him a short time, I've already turned his life upside down. Of course, it's hard on him. We fit perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle, on the bed. His head rested on my stomach and his arms circled around me. He did this the last time I laid with him. Is this a guy thing or is this a Shadow thing?

Whatever it was I found it oddly cute. I didn't mind cuddling. I actually missed it. Things have been different with Shadow. A weird kind of different. He seems gentle and always ready to learn something new. Hell, he was eager to enter this lifestyle.

There was a soft knock at the door. I looked up to see Marylynn looking at us puzzled.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Aftercare..." I said in a 'duh' tone.

"You played with him?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah he needed to relieve stress," I said and returned to my book.

"I'm sure that's not the only reason." She stated.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked while setting my book down.

"You have a soft spot for him." She said.

"I'm not having this conversation again," I said with a sigh.

"You have to let what happened to Kris go Ang." She said exasperated.

"Let it go?!" I yelled, suddenly outraged causing Shadow to jolt awake. I sat up quickly and stormed over to Marylynn. I was BEYOND done with my so-called friends and their BULLSHIT. You cannot tell someone to just get over something that traumatized you and left you feeling like dying.

"You want me to let go of the flashbacks I endure every time a man touches me? You want me to let go of the feeling of him being inside of me? You want me to let go of waking up from nightmares feeling like he's still on me? You want me to let go of the fact that Morgan's face haunts me every day?" I said in a hushed whisper, my blood boiling. If she weren't trained in combat, effectively blocking my swing, I'd hit her. She flinched back but her face remained calm. I pushed passed her and raced down the hall. She really thinks I can just let that shit go. The reason why I've been mentally fucked up the last five years. The reason I've taken on celibacy. The reason why I always have to look over my shoulder. I grabbed my coat and keys and ran outside. I didn't care that I was only in a t-shirt and panties. The cool air felt nice on my burning skin. I'd say maybe it needed to happen to her and maybe she'd understand, but who knows what has happened to her in her lifetime. I unlocked my pride and joy and hopped in. Quickly I started the car and zoomed out of the driveway. Richard stood in the doorway, his image outlined by the light from inside. Stepping on the gas I floored it. Distance is what I needed right now. I barely found the will to live again, and now I'm supposed to "just get over it".

Just get over it.

Let it go.

It was five years ago.

You fucking slut! You're mine and only mine!

I shook my head vigorously. His voice haunts me every day. The evil look in his eyes when he showed up at my home unexpectedly. The unholy grin he had upon telling me he killed my other sub. Kris was jealous. He was also extremely unstable. I wish I'd had known.