Tears of Heaven - A Love Story

Tears -

Three

I spent the rest of that week and the next sightseeing. Since my grandparents had to run the bakery, I went alone. I didn't really mind it though. I was able to take my time and spend as long as I wanted and not have to worry about tiring them out.

Walking through town, I stopped many times and took pictures of old churches. I toured each one, admiring their gold and brass ornate interiors, the dark woods and various colors of marble taking my breath away.

I also took countless photos of the Royal Castle. The gray stone walls of the palace loomed above me, casting a shadow over the entire block. The enormous building was only one of ten royal palaces in Sweden. Why the family would need ten I'll never know, but I felt sure the other nine were just as beautiful. After snapping a few close up shots of the guards, I did a little shopping. I purchased a couple of fashionable, yet modest outfits, and I bought a few things to send to the Copeland family.

On one day I went to a place called Skansen. It was a large, open air museum. In many parts of the place there were old cabins in which workers depicted how the Swedish people once lived. I loved touring the bakery, the glass blowing and wood shops, as well as the machine shop and the old mercantile store.  There was even a zoo and an amusement park. It was an incredible place with a lot of history.

After walking around for a while, I stopped on a wooden bridge to rest. Leaning against the railing and staring out over the large pond, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the soft breeze that gently lifted my hair and cooled my hot skin. As I relished the comfortable sensation, my mind began to wander.

This would be a great place to bring a family, if I had one, that is. The intruding thought unnerved me, but watching the smiling faces of children with their parents and listening to their laughing voices, it was hard not to wonder what it would be like to have a family of my own.

Though, if I were really being honest with myself, my background would make me one of the last people who should have a family. I didn't think I had anything to give to a child, or for that matter even a husband. I wished that I did. My life was too unstable, too uncertain. I was an emotional mess, pure and simple, and one little thing might throw me over the edge, bringing an end to what sanity I had left.

Deep inside, however, there was a part of me that longed to have a family of my own, but I didn't think it was in the cards for me. And I didn't think it ever would be.

I silently scolded myself. These self-inflicted mind games were pointless, and I knew it. Why did I keep doing it to myself? If the past had taught me anything, it was that some things were not meant to be.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I shook my head and turned my thoughts elsewhere.

 * * *

That same evening I decided to take a Viking boat tour, which included dinner. The massive boat was an impressive replica of one of the enormous old wooden ships. I spent almost a half an hour before I boarded just taking pictures of it.

Once the tour started, we sailed for two hours around the harbor, dining on wooden platters of roast beef, chicken, fish, and vegetables. Dessert was a large piece of spiced apple cake with sauce and berries.

I thoroughly enjoyed feasting on the delicious dinner while taking in the view of the lovely homes and old buildings along the shore. I found myself listening to the tourists as they talked excitedly and snapped pictures left and right. The scenery really was incredible. I mused that if I was gifted in poetry, I could put the picture into words, but even then, I don't know if they would do the view before my eyes justice.