Tears of Heaven - A Love Story

Tears -

Twelve
One month later
The tears glistening on Sergei's face matched my own as the sealer pronounced us married for eternity. The moment I heard those words was the happiest of my life, because I knew I was now bound to the man I loved more than life. My grandfather had been right. God did know what was best for me. He had blessed me with what had been best for me, and that was Sergei's love.
Shirley and John had flown in a couple of days before  and I was happy beyond words to have them there to share this special time in my life with. They both loved Sergei from the moment they met him and he felt the same about them.
As Shirley smiled tearfully at me from across the sealing room, I couldn't help remembering the conversation she and I had the night they arrived. She told me how much she and John had prayed that I would find someone who would love me and take care of me. I told her their prayers had joined my grandparents', and God had been listening.
As we accepted hugs from our guests at the conclusion of the ceremony, my own smile faded slightly as I thought back on certain parts of my conversation with Shirley.
“That man is a blessing, Heaven. And I only have to look in his eyes to see how much he loves you. When you two are together, it's as if no one else exists.” Then she added mischievously, “Of course, with a striking figure of a man like that, who would blame you? I mean, I might be old and married, but I know handsome when I see it, and let me tell you, that man probably sends a lot of female temperatures rising.”
I laughed and shook my head. Leave it to Shirley to say exactly what was on her mind. “I'm sure you're right, but the rest of the female population will just have to either find a way to cool down or suffer heat stroke because he's all mine.”
Shirley chuckled. “I couldn't have said it better myself, honey.”
I smiled. “Oh Shirley, he's the most amazing man I've ever known, and he's totally changed my life.” I sighed. “I can't tell you how good it feels to trust again. He makes me feel so safe, and I know he will never hurt me. I mean, we aren't even married yet and he puts my needs before his own. He makes me feel so secure.”
Shirley smiled at me tearfully. “That is what real love is all about. That's the way things should be.”
We talked for a while longer and she filled me in on what was going on in their busy lives. At one point during the conversation, Shirley became unusually quiet, and I could see a subtle look of worry in her expression. I asked her if anything was wrong. She said that she hated to bring up a bad subject during such a happy occasion, but she needed to tell me something.
“What is it?” I asked, suddenly worried.
She placed her hand over mine and patted it lightly. “Well, I don't want to worry you, but . . . the other day Sue was doing some shopping in the store you worked in . . . and Ross was there. She said he was asking questions about you.”
The statement instantly brought back the fear I felt when I received the letter from Ross. I lightly pressed a hand to my heart, feeling it pound a little harder. The last thing I wanted or needed was Ross asking around about me. “What was he asking?” My voice sounded calmer than I felt.
“Well, he wanted to know if anyone had heard from you.”
“Did she say he found out anything?” I asked, hoping Sue's eavesdropping skills were still in place. Having been raised with the girl, many things that should have been secret, I found out from Sue.
“The girl he questioned suggested that . . .maybe you had gone to live with your grandparents . . . and that's as far as the conversation went.” When I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned, Shirley hurried on quickly. “He doesn't know for sure, Heaven. When he came to our house after you left asking us where you had gone, we told him you went to stay with some friends for a while in North Carolina. We tried to make the story sound convincing by telling him not to try and find you there.” Shirley chuckled harshly. “Oh, he tried to convince us of how much he loved you by turning on the waterworks and telling us he was sorry for the way he treated you. He even said he was getting some counseling, but we didn't buy his act one bit. And after the way he underhandedly got us to send you that letter, I know he hasn't changed, and he never will.”
I pressed my head in my hands as the familiar fear again entered my heart. “He's going to come after me, isn't he?” I knew the answer to my question before I even voiced it, because I knew Ross. I knew him better than anyone. If he really wanted to find me, he definitely had the means to do it.
“I doubt he will come this far looking for you,” Shirley said, trying to ease my fear. “Besides, you are getting married the day after tomorrow. And even if he did manage to find you, which I'm sure he won't, it wouldn't matter. Sergei loves you and he will keep you safe.” She squeezed my hand. “Don't worry, Heaven. Everything will be all right.”
Deciding to take her advice, I took a deep breath and did my best to put it out of my mind. I didn't want thoughts of Ross to mar our wedding day, so I focused my thoughts on Sergei instead. I had to, because he knew me so well, he would have known something was wrong.
Well, at least I made it through the ceremony without a single thought of Ross. That was something.
 * * *
Afterward, we had a light wedding luncheon at Sergei's, which was now my home as well. My grandparents catered the food as a wedding present for us. They hadn't been able to attend the ceremony, but I never saw two happier people, except for me any my new husband, of course.
Many ward members and a few of Sergei's friends attended the luncheon. There were even a few of my grandparents' friends there. I didn't know them, but I guess it didn't matter. I was Karl and Felicity's granddaughter, and that was all that mattered to them.
John and Shirley decided to stay in Sweden a few extra days, so we left an extra key with them and told them to enjoy the house. They assured us they would.
We were disappointed that Sergei's family hadn't come for the reception, but they promised him they would come for a visit soon. Sergei said he hoped they really would, but he wouldn't hold his breath. I assured him that there was always hope.
 * * *
Later on that afternoon, we boarded a plane to Amsterdam for our honeymoon. Neither of us had ever been there before, but we were told how beautiful the city was and we were excited about going. Sergei told me Amsterdam was only one of the many places he wanted to take me. I looked forward to traveling with him. It wouldn't matter to me where we went as long as we were together.
Sergei kept my hand in his, his gaze fixed on mine as the plane left the runway. He leaned over slightly and kissed me tenderly.
“I love you, Mrs. Petrenko,” he whispered.
I smiled dreamily, loving the sound of my new name. “And I love you.” His mouth curved up in a returning smile and I couldn't resist kissing him again.
He put his arm around me and I rested my head against his shoulder, relishing the feelings of love and security that now washed over me. In his embrace I felt like nothing could touch me, and no harm could ever come to me. Sighing, I drifted to sleep with the feel of his soft lips against my forehead, and memories of our wedding filling my thoughts.
After a while and against my will, a different face began to swim before me, one that frightened me beyond words. It was Ross' face. I felt one of his hands tugging at my hair, the other, tugging at my clothes. I heard his voice repeating what he'd said to me the last night I saw him in Knoxville.
“I will finally have what's mine.”
I heard myself gasp as I awakened to the hum of the airplane engines as we made our descent into Amsterdam.
“Are you all right?” Sergei's soothing voice asked, holding me close.
I nodded, not able to speak at the moment. I almost felt like I was going to be sick. I swallowed back the feeling, but the dream had seemed so real, I felt afraid again.
“What is it?” Sergei asked, concern filling his voice.
I shook my head and tried to smile. “It's nothing, just a bad dream.” I leaned over and kissed him. “I'll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, and I could tell he wasn't totally convinced.
I smiled. “I'm sure.”
 * * *
As we rode in the taxi to our hotel, I did my best to push my fears aside and instead concentrated on the amazing scenery. There were canals running through Amsterdam in every direction, and the massive stone buildings draped in bright shades of cloth were beautiful. Never in my life had I seen anything like it. It had to be the most colorful city I had ever been in, even more so than Stockholm.
I turned to Sergei and found him gazing at me instead of the scenery. The loving look in his eyes was tinged with worry. I squeezed his hand, trying to assure him that all was well. I only wished I could assure myself.
Later, I stood in front of the bedroom window of our suite wearing a white silk and lace chemise  I bought for this night. My eyes took in the view of the enormous city, but my mind focused on none of it. Rubbing my arms against a sudden chill, I closed my burning eyes, willing the tears to stay away, but they came anyway. I quickly dried them, not wanting to worry Sergei.
I couldn't believe this was happening. This was my wedding day! There shouldn't have been tears of sadness, only tears of joy. I couldn't understand why I couldn't control my emotions. And hard as I tried, I couldn't seem to stop my fears from intruding upon what was supposed to be our time, mine and Sergei's.
My hands involuntarily formed fists as an internal battle of emotions waged within me. My fear of Ross seemed  to mingle with my longing for my husband, and I didn't know how to separate the two. I couldn't.
When Sergei entered the bedroom, I tensed slightly despite my best efforts. I managed to smile. He smiled back, and I read the desire in his warm brown eyes. As he walked toward me, I felt my smile fade slightly. He gazed down at me and gently took my shoulders in his hands. Feeling my eyes begin to burn again, I looked down.
“What is it, angel?” he asked softly. He rubbed my arms. “You are trembling.” He lifted my chin, urging me to look at him. “Please tell me what is wrong.”
Sergei's desperate plea drew my emotions to the surface, and before I knew it, my face was pressed against his warm chest as my tears wet his shirt. He lifted me in his arms and carried me over to the bed. He sat down and held me on his lap. He kept his arms wrapped around me and continued to let me cry.
I figured by now he was definitely wondering what he had gotten himself into. The woman he married was an emotional wreck, and he had no idea why. I felt sorry for him.
After I was finally able to get a hold of my emotions, I pulled back slightly and took in his worried expression. “I'm so sorry,” I finally said.
Sergei lifted a gentle hand to my face and dried my tears. “Please, Heaven,” he pleaded again. “It hurts me to see your tears. Tell me what is wrong.”
Gathering my courage, I looked into his eyes and tearfully told him about my conversation with Shirley. I didn't tell him about the letter, but I shared with him my fears of Ross coming to find me.
He sat silently listening to me until I had finished. Then taking my face in his hands, he said, “Shirley told me everything last night.”
I stared at him, my surprise evident. “Everything?” I asked, wondering if that included the letter.
Seeming to understand the tone of my question, he said, “Yes, everything.”
“Then you know why I am worried.”
Sergei sighed. “Do not be worried, my love. You are my wife now. We  are bound to each other, and I will never let anyone hurt you. Please trust me.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. “Please trust me, baby,” he whispered again.
I closed my eyes and exhaled softly, a heady longing suddenly filling me at the feel of his warm breath on my face.
“Please trust me, angel,” he whispered once more before his warm mouth took mine.
His words were now in Russian, but my heart understood them, and before I knew it, our bodies and our souls were suddenly intertwined as he made love to me, erasing all fear, all pain, and all doubt from my mind and my heart. All that existed then, all that I was aware of, was his love. And experiencing that love, truly experiencing the magnitude of it, was the most wondrous and glorious thing I had ever known.
Every kiss, every gentle touch, every softly spoken word whispered from his lips against mine, pulled me further into safety, further into the safe harbor that was his love. That wondrously fulfilling safety was now my home, and it was there that I knew I would always stay.