Tears of Heaven - A Love Story

Tears -

Seventeen
The present
Pressing the back of my husband's hand against my face, I glance at the clock again. The sun came up hours ago and the breakfast that had been brought in for me was now cold. I have no desire to eat, but the nausea I am now experiencing forces me to pull the tray table over and take a few bites.
Feeling my stomach calm some, I push the rest of the food away and again take Sergei's hand in mine. I press my free hand against my abdomen and smiled sadly. Having experienced nausea the morning before as well, and with my period being two weeks late, I know what the prognosis will be. I wish I could share my speculation with my husband. I pray with all my heart I will still have the chance.
Still holding onto Sergei's hand, I press my head into my other one and close my eyes, grateful the whole ordeal is finally over. Ross is gone now, and he will never be able to hurt anyone again. That knowledge is a relief. Even still, there is indescribable pain left in his wake.
The questioning I had gone through by the police had been thorough but quick. There was no question Sergei had shot Ross in self defense. And I wasn't surprised to find out Ross already had an assault record. He just seemed to go from bad to worse. Now he was gone, period. And for that, I am extremely grateful. Now if I could just get out of the habit of being afraid. I have feared him for so long, I don't know how not to be afraid. I will work on it, though, and I will be better.
My thoughts shift to my grandparents. When I called them and told them what happened, they said they would call Oksana and Nikolai for me. As emotional as I was, I knew I couldn't have called, and I was very grateful for their willingness to do it.
Hearing the door open, I wearily look up as the doctor entered. Fortunately for me, he is American, so I don't have to deal with the language barrier. I watch and wait quietly, holding my breath as he checks my Sergei for any changes. I have been doing my best to think positively, but my efforts are beginning to wear thin. I pray silently for some good news.
After a few moments, the doctor looks up at me and smiles. “He has improved, Mrs. Petrenko. He is stable now.”
I close my burning eyes and lift my face upward, sending a silent prayer of gratitude to the heavens. At last, I feel like I can breathe. I finally feel some semblance of calm, not quite peace yet, but calm.
“Thank you, Doctor,” I say, barely masking the emotion in my voice.
He places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Your husband is very strong. All things considered, his prognosis looks good.”
I nod, too overcome with emotion to speak.
“Oh,” the doctor says as he opens the door, “your grandparents are out in the hallway waiting for you.”
“Thank you,” I say. He nods and leaves. I stand and stretch. Gazing at my husband again, I squeeze his hand gently and lean over and kiss his lips softly. “I love you, Seriozha,” I whisper against his mouth. “And I need you. Please keep fighting and get well. My life is nothing without you.” I press my lips firmly to his once more, brushing my hand back through his hair. “I'll be right back, my love.” I kiss his hand and lay it by his side, then I go out to my grandparents.
As soon as my grandfather sees me, he opens his arms and  I am comforted by the warmth of his embrace, followed by my grandmother. They both pull back and I can see both questions and worry in their tear-filled eyes.
“He's stable now,” I say with a smile. “The doctor says Sergei is strong, and he thinks he'll make it.”
They both sigh with relief. I squeeze their hands, grateful beyond words for their support.
My grandfather picks up the tote bag he had placed on the floor. “We brought you a change of clothes.”
“Thank you, Farfar.”
“I also put some personal things in there for you,” my grandmother says. “There are some magazines as well.”
I smile. “Tack, Farmor.”
“You are welcome,” she says, touching my face.
My grandfather places a hand on my shoulder and says quietly, “We are having some people go over today to clean up the place. Everything will be just as it was before when you finally go back.”
I blink to clear my vision, sending tears rolling down my face. I embrace him tightly. “Thank you, Farfar. You don't know how much I dreaded having to take care of that.”
“We can imagine,” my grandmother says, wiping my tears. I release my grandfather and embrace her as well. Pulling back she asks, “Can we do anything else for you?”
I shake my head and smile. “You've done more than enough.” I sigh. “How did Oksana and Nikolai take the news?”
“Very hard,” my grandmother answers. “They said to tell you they love you and they will be flying in tomorrow afternoon.”
I am warmed by the knowledge that they will be coming. I need them very much. “Then it's a good thing everything will be cleaned up.”
They nod. “Well,” my grandmother says, “we will let you go back to Sergei. Will you call us as soon as anything changes?”
“I will.” I embrace them both once more. “Thank you again for everything.”
“You're welcome,” my grandfather says, kissing my cheek. “We will be praying for him.”
I stand for a moment and watch them as they walk down the hall, and I silently thank God for them. Then I go back in to be with my husband.
 * * *
It is later in the evening and I stand staring out the hospital window. My thoughts are consumed with Sergei and our future. He has shown marked improvement throughout the day and the doctor is now sure he will make a full recovery. But he still hasn't awakened, and I long for that immensely. I ache to be able to look into his beautiful brown eyes, to feel his adoring gaze again warm me, and to hear his soft voice caressing my name, calling me his angel.
I wrap my arms around myself, longing to feel the warmth of his arms. And I ache to share the bit of news that I know will bring him joy. I close my eyes and press my forehead against the cool glass, thinking I will probably need to go home in the morning for a while and prepare for Sergei's family's arrival. But the thought of being away from him even for a moment hurts.
I yawn as exhaustion begins to catch up with me, but I know sleep will be slow in coming again. I also know I need to force myself to rest, especially now. Deciding that I will at least try tonight, I heave a quiet sigh and take in the sight of the sun slowly fading into the horizon. The view is causing a feeling of peace to slowly settle around me. In fact, I am so absorbed in its calming effect that I am startled to hear my beloved Sergei's voice weakly calling my name.
I turn from the window and quickly go to him. “I'm here, Seriozha,” I say, sitting down on the side of the bed, taking his hand in mine, and pressing it against my now wet face. The joy and relief that surges through me upon hearing his gentle voice is indescribable.
Sergei slowly opens his eyes and looks at me. His hand tightens around mine gently. He loosens one finger and brushes a tear away from my face. Then he smiles and his eyes fill with tears. “I love you, dushenka . . . and I will always keep you safe.”
I lean down and press my head into the pillow next to his and cry. My heart is filled with gratitude for his life. Feeling his other hand softly caressing my hair, I cry even more. After a few moments, I raise slightly and look down into his face. “I love you so much, Sergei. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you.” My voice cracks. “I'm so sorry about everything.”
He lightly touches my face. “There is nothing for you to be sorry for.” He lets his thumb caress my lips. “As for me, I am not going anywhere.” He moves his hand to the back of my head and gently pulls me down, urging my lips to his. I sigh as I feel his warm mouth soften under mine, and I am surprised by the strength and intensity of his kiss. It is as if he has only awakened from a night's sleep and is pulling me close for our usual morning kiss.
As if he is reading my mind, he releases my mouth and whispers, “I will never let a day pass without experiencing that.”
I smile and fresh tears fill my eyes. “I'll hold you to that.” I sit back and wipe my eyes, keeping his hand in mine. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”
“Some, but I will live.”
I smile and kiss his hand. “Yes, you will. That's the important thing.”
He brings my hand to his face and looks at me intently. “It is all over now, Heaven. You do not ever have to be afraid again.”
I caress his face and sniff as more tears come. “I know. I'm grateful to God for sending you to me.”
“Ah, angel,” he whispers, “It was you who was sent to me. I prayed, and you came into my life right when I needed you.”
I smile again and my heart is full of happiness. I take his hand and slowly move it to my stomach, holding it there. “God is sending you someone else as well.” There is a look of question in his eyes. When I smile tearfully and nod, his look changes to one of amazement. His trembling lips curve up into a smile as tears roll back into his hair. I lean down and kiss the tears from his face
Taking my face in his hands and guiding my lips to his to bless me with the warmth of his kiss once more, he sums it up with one whispered statement that will forever ring true in my heart.
“He sent me another little piece of heaven, so earth just keeps getting better.”