Tears of Heaven - A Love Story

Tears -

Nine

I called Grandma and told her I would be home late, which greatly pleased her. To Grandma, every moment I was away meant more time for me to be with Sergei, and that made her extremely happy. Just like Sergei, her heart was open to me, and I knew her hopes for me.

After I hung up, I went to the kitchen and found Sergei closing a picnic basket. As he turned to me and smiled, I felt butterflies inside. Standing there staring at me with unmasked adoration, Sergei was irresistible, and I felt myself falling even more. At that very moment my heart became completely lost to him. I smiled back, emotion welling up inside me.

He took my hand and led me through the French patio doors. After walking out a ways, we stopped at a spot near the gazebo and spread a blanket out on the grass. We sat side by side as the afternoon sun warmed us. I looked up and watched a flock of seagulls fly overhead, their energetic calls adding a peacefulness to the moment. The evening sky was still a brilliant blue and because of the time of year, darkness didn't settle on the country until midnight. Falling asleep had been a little weird for me at first, but I was finally used to it.

Since we had spent so much time the week before talking of deeper things and getting to know one another, Sergei and I decided to spend this time talking about trivial things, things that wouldn't matter to anyone but us. Things like our favorite books, our favorite movies, favorite foods, favorite things to do. We talked about our likes and dislikes. We laughed as we compared our similar tastes in comedies, our dislikes of certain vegetables, and our mutual love for rainy days and sloshing through puddles on the sidewalk after a heavy downpour.

Sergei also shared with me his hopes of having his family join the Church one day. He told me how hard it was for him sometimes to not be able to share that part of his life with them, and he knew I understood.

After we had finished eating and the conversation had comfortably wound down, Sergei leaned back on his elbows, stretched out his long legs, and crossed his ankles, his eyes resting on my face. I met his steady gaze, not able to pull mine away.

As I took in the emotions I saw in his eyes, something stirred inside me. It was as if all the emotional energy in the world suddenly zeroed in on the two of us, producing a magnetic pull that I couldn't fight anymore.

I continued to stare into his eyes and I knew he felt it too. As if our coming together was inevitable, he raised up slightly, lifted a hand to my face, and let his thumb softly caress the corner of my mouth, moving it slowly over my lips. My heart was pounding so hard, I almost felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt myself slowly moving down to him. When my mouth was an inch away from his, I hesitated as a subtle fear quickly entered me.

Sensing this, Sergei whispered softly, “You own my heart, dushenka, and I will never hurt you.”

The warmth of his breath on my face combined with the sound of his deep voice whispering the tender Russian term of endearment brought about a heated rush of emotion in me. My breath quickened as he rose a little more and pressed his mouth to mine. And in that moment, everything inside me suddenly cried out for him, the desperate yearning to be loved overwhelming me.

I moved my hand to his face and heard him moan softly as the kiss became warm. He drew back  just enough to sit up. Then he took my face between his hands and favored me with the taste of his sweet kiss once again. His lips plied mine possessively, demandingly, yet his kiss gave to me, filling my every sense. I ached inside to be closer still.

The exhilaration I felt being with him this way was like nothing I had ever experienced before and the feelings that surged through my insides were beyond description. Nothing in this life had prepared me for the tenderness I felt, for the intoxicating wonder I was now experiencing at his hand.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and melted against him as his love continued to wash over me, washing away the hurt that had once filled me, and replacing it with an indescribable urge to trust again, to trust in him, in what we had between us.

These feelings filled me with such warmth, I parted my lips from his slightly and whispered, “I love you, Seriozha.”

Sergei drew back a little and looked into my eyes, his own filling with tears. “I love you too, Heaven. More than I could ever express to you in words.”

His mouth captured mine once more, and trembling, I hungrily accepted and returned his warm kiss. Then he lay back and pulled me down next to him. I laid my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms securely around me.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as the scent of the harbor filled the air and added a magical serenity to the deepening azure sky. We lay in silence, holding onto one another and relishing this moment.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I couldn't believe how much love I suddenly had in my heart for this man. And I marveled at the love I felt from him. When I made the decision to move to Sweden, I hadn't expected anything like this to happen. I never wanted it to. But now that it had, I felt blessed beyond words. I smiled, enjoying the feel of Sergei's hand gently caressing my hair.

After a long  while, he turned me onto my back, raised up, and looked down at me. Pressing a hand to my face he smiled and said,  “I never truly realized how alone I was until you came into my life.”

I sighed and lightly ran my hand over the muscles of his back. “I feel the same.”

Hi smile widened. “I suppose I am going to have to fire you now.” When I shot him a confused look, he sobered and went on. “I do not want to just see you during the day. I want you beside me at night, wrapped in my arms. I want to feel your warmth against me when I sleep, and I want to be able to look at your beautiful face ever waking moment.”

He paused, pressing his hand against my flat stomach. “I want my children to grow inside you. I want your kiss to be the last thing I taste before I fall asleep at night, and the first thing I experience when I awaken each morning.” He smiled. “I cannot do those things with my housekeeper . . . but I can with my wife.” He paused again, wiping the warm tears that were rolling back into my hair. “So, you see why I have to fire you?”

I swallowed hard against the emotion in my throat and nodded. “I guess I can understand that,” I finally said.

He looked at me intently. “Will you be my wife?”

I nodded again, too overcome to speak.

Sergei leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to mine. “I need you to say the word, dushenka,” he whispered breathlessly.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. “Yes,” I whispered back. “Everything  you want, I want, too.”

He gave me a teary smile and rewarded me with the taste of his enrapturing kiss once more, and I knew my life was forever changed. Because of Sergei, I finally knew what it felt like to truly be loved, to be adored, and I also knew with everything in me, I would crave the warmth of his love forever.