My Many Mishaps

"DON'T FLUSH!!"

Ever nearly drowned in a High School  toilet?  If you haven't, lucky you. If you have, I've felt your pain.

Last year, in 10th grade, I was walking to my next class. A class at my school is about 80 minutes long, give-or-take.

I thought I'd try to avoid the "Mr. Teacher, can I use the bathroom?" then the teacher asking "Is it urgent?" while the class snickers.

I stopped into the ladies room, trying not to pass out from all the chemicals being sprayed in other girls' hair.

There was only one free stall, but the door always got stuck. (Once I thought I got trapped in it, and they had to send in the school counselor to make sure I wasn't having a nervous breakdown.)

I was running out of time, class was staring in about 2 minutes. I decided to force the door open, by ramming my body into it. Looking back on it, I probably looked ridiculous.

The fourth time I smashed into it, the stall door busted inward, and I fell forward, into the stall.

Well.. Maybe throwing my body into a bathroom stall door was a pretty dumb move. Actually, forget the maybe, it absolutely was a pretty dumb move. Because,

When I fell into the stall, my head landed right... Right in the toilet. My face was completely submerged in the water. A girl must have noticed my predicament, because she grabbed my shoulders and tried to pull me out.

Then someone yelled outside and about eight pairs of high heels scuffled into the bathroom. Pretty much every female teacher on the floor had run in, to see a girl holding my shoulders, and my face about two inches from going underwater again.

At that moment, both the teen that saved me from a disgusting watery death and myself knew...

We ****ed up.

One of the teachers yanked her away from me, and another tried to dry my hair with a paper towel.

About 20 minutes later, I was sitting next to the other "witness or participant" in my principle's office.

Apparently, the first teacher who went to get help, thought the other girl in the stall was trying to drown me.

(I'm laughing as I'm writing this. Oh gosh, the misunderstand was hilarious.)

The only info the principle had came from that same teacher, but my principle and I have had our.. Aggressive conversations before, about my panic attacks.

My principle unrapped a Jolly Rancher, popped it into her mouth, sat down in her chair, and folded her hands. This was what she said:

"Lauryn, (other girl's name)... I've heard a story. But I don't know if it was true. If it is, (other girl's name) I have someone on their way to pick you up, and Lauryn, you'll be sent home and have to talk to an officer."

"However, I heard another story from a student who was present. They said that you, Lauryn, tried to drown yourself, and (other girl's name) was either helping you commit suicide, or was trying to stop you. I need to know which story is true."

Us suspects looked at each other.

"Neither." We said in unison.

I explained that I was trying to get the stall door open, but ended up falling in. (Other girl's name) explained that she saw me fall, and didn't know if I had fainted or something, and that she tried to pull me out incase I was unconscious or something.

Both of us also mentioned that the girl who told her that had to be stoned from all the hairspray chemicals

The principle just sucked on her candy, and dismissed us both to go home for the day. We left her office, where we found my mom, both her parents and her younger brother, and four police officers.

We just looked at the scene, looked at each other, and laughed.

I may have gotten a day off school, a new friend, and a cherry Jolly Rancher, but let me give you my advice:

Just go to class and ask to use the bathroom. That embarrassment isn't even half of walking down a crowded hall with wet hair that smells like sewer.

But if you do decide to do it my way, make sure to wash your hair three times when you get home.