Skinny love // J.P.

Chapter 13

Leah's POV

"Hello...Mrs Taylor?" My therapist questioned. I nodded and he continued.

"I'm doctor Hynes and I'll be your mental therapist for the next month or so. Since today's our first session, I'll just be getting to know you" he smiled and grabbed his notebook.

"So tell me about yourself." He asked and I didn't know what to say.

"Well my names Leah chambers, I'm in high school and I'm actually popular at my school. I have 5 main friends who are all popular as well. I have a single mother and a small shih tzu. I've always loved nature, but I hate exercising. I'm more of an Internet girl. Um...I have never had a B on my report card; only A's. I have 2 brothers, but both of them are adults and off living on their own. Anything else?" I finished.

"Yes, only one for now...what happened to your father?" He asked with a look of curiosity on his face.

"Well... He fathered me for only 10 years and my parents were married for 24 years. Then he got really bored with her, because she was always busy with my brothers and I. So he ended up cheating on her, and divorcing her for some slut my mom used to call her best friend" I finished and looked down.

"Interesting...." He whispered under his breath as he wrote something down on his journal.

"My main goal for you, is to get you to a point where you're stable enough to go back to your normal life and handle everything without having suicidal thoughts. Do you understand?" He asked as if I was 5. I nodded in annoyance and he continued rambling about everything.

•••

"I'm so happy you're back Leah. You know, I cleared up the rumor and now everyone has been tweeting and all that shit "pray for Leah" and "hope you feel better Leah". Makes me sick. But just know we made those bastards sorry." Joel said to me while he sat next to me on my hospital bed. He had his arm around me and I was resting my hand and hand on his chest. I miss this..

"Thank you Joel. I just hate the fact they were so ignorant until they realized I could die" I scoffed.

"Yeah, you know Jackie and Kyla visited you everyday and apologized. They feel terrible and they think you'll never forgive them" he told me and I instantly feel bad.

"They should know I still love them. They'll always be my best friends. They made a mistake. Everyone does..." I sighed.

"I missed you so much Leah. Being without you made me realize how much I need you" Joel said sadly and I cuddled up closer to him.

"I'm never leaving you again. Remember that." I assure him and he smiled at me.

"I love you Leah..." I hear Joel whisper under his breath.

"What?" I said in utter shock and confusion.

"Nothing. Just taking to myself" he smiles at me and I just ignore it. He probably didn't mean it anyways.

"Oh okay..." I say and close my eyes.

Soon enough I fall asleep I Joel's comforting arms.

••••

When I wake Joel isn't next to me, instead I see a person I didn't expect to be here sitting on the couch.

"M-mason?" I said, still in shock.

"Hey Leah...its been awhile" he says and looks up at me.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?"

"I heard about what happened and wanted to check on you. You know I still care about you, right?"

"That's what you said the first time you cheated on me..." I scoffed.

"Leah listen it was a mistake..."

"Yes it was, a mistake that won't fucking happen again" I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Look, I messed up okay. I was just a stupid ass sexually frustrated kid. I didn't know what I was doing. I still love you Leah" he pleaded.

"The word love means nothing to me coming from you"

"Fine...goodbye Leah. Hope you get well" he says and walks away. I almost feel bad for him...

After I just sit there and think for like 10 minutes to take my daily medications.

I grab the 5 bottles of pills and a water bottle them go into the bathroom.

I quickly swallow every pill, drinking water after all of them. Im surprised they would give me all these pills knowing I committed suicide by overdosing.

•••••

I sit in bed, like usual. Thinking about everything that's happened. How dramatic my life has been since Joel has come back into it.

I was so stupid to kill myself over some rumor and all those people hating me.

When I'm older, out of school, and I'm hopefully married with kids. I'll then realize how insignificant they were. And how much they don't mean to me. So what if people hate me in high school? When im older all of this nonsense will just be a funny story.

I just need self confidence. As long as I love myself, and believe in myself. No ones opinion on me matters.

It scares me how much I let other people's thoughts and opinions affect me on a daily basis.

I'll be worrying about some person hating me, even when I've never talked to them.

Why am I like this? I have no idea.

I need to learn to not care. And focus on the actual important things in my life.

Like Joel.

I want to lay in his arms forever. But of course I had to fucking commit suicide, being the selfish bitch I am.

••••••

I sit in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Eating the crappy food, while watching tv on the tv.

I hear the door creak open and I see Joel pop out. I smile as I see his big smile light up the room.

"Hey stranger" I smile at him.

"Hey beautiful. How've you been?" He's hiding something behind his back but I'm unable to tell what it is.

"Other than being bored out of my mind, pretty good actually" I say nonchalantly.

"I got you something..." He says and he takes a stuffed animal panda from behind his back.

"How'd you know pandas are my favorite animal?" I say in awe as I hug the panda.

"I have a good memory" he playfully smirks.

"Thank you so much Joel, I love y-" I say but quickly stop myself.

"What?"

"I was gonna say I love it." I quickly say. He shrugs it off.

"Thank you again" I say as I pull in Joel for a hug.

Instead of just letting him go I pull him onto the hospital bed and we burst into laughter.

"You're so stupid" he says as I flick his forehead.

"OWWW" he playfully whines.

"You're just a big baby" I say and playfully pout at him.

"Am not!" He protest.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Okay maybe a little bit..." He admits and I laugh again.

He makes me laugh so much, he just makes me happy.

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Im going to Tennessee rn but yo

That last scene is goals.

~XoLeah