Skinny love // J.P.

Chapter 14

Leah's POV

"Today, we'll be going deeper into your mind. I want to figure you out, Leah" Doctor Hynes said in an informative tone that made me stiffen up.

"O-okay.."

"So, yesterday you told me you were popular. How can someone so popular and loved at school feel the need to commit suicide?" He said tapping his pen on his notebook. Should I open up to get this over with? Should I lie? I don't know how to respond...last time I was in therapy I was 11.

"U-uh, well I had a rumor about me spread. It was really hurtful and everyone hated me.
E-even my best friends..." I said not saying the whole truth.

"What rumor? How did it start?"

"Well it was a rumor I slept with 3 guys..." I said trailing off

"And how did people make that up? Is it true?"

"I-it's technically true..."

"So you wanted to die because people knew your secret?"

"N-no, I slept with the 3 guys because I really
t-trusted one of them. And they drugged me. And r-raped me..." I said biting my lip. It's hard to explain something so scarring.

"I see..." He mumbled while writing on his notebook.

"So they made everyone believe you were idiotic enough to just sleep with all of them as your choice?" I nodded my head.

"And you said even your best friends hated you? All of them?"

"Well, when they first found out they started calling me a s-slut like everyone else, and, and only one of my best friends knew the truth so he didn't hate me"

"He?"

"Yes, he"

"Is there any kind of romantic relationship between you two?"

"Not currently"

"Currently?"

"Yes"

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"Uh, no. Not at all. Why would you say that?" My cheeks immediately flushed a crimson red.

"I know you're lying. What's stopping you from being in a romantic relationship?"

"W-well, he probably doesn't like me and I don't want what happened to my mom, happen to me. I've also been cheated on multiple times, so I have to guard myself"

"Ah yes, you told me about your mom last time we met. How does that affect you?"

"W-well I really loved my dad and I thought everything was amazing until one day he just got up and...left"

"I see...do you think maybe that left a permanent scar on you and is making you guard your heart more than before?"

"Definitely"

"And how many people know about your dad?"

"3"

"Who are they?"

"My two girl best friends and one of my guy best friends."

"Are they the only people you trust?"

"Yes sir"

"Did your dad give you trust issues?"

"W-what?"

"Did you trusting you dad so much just for him to leave you, give you trust issues?"

"N-no. I don't have trust issues"

"Leah, I think you do..."

"Everyone leaves me...I can't trust anyone, how can I? Peoples play sick, twisted games with your heart. You don't know what goes through their head. You could think you're extremely close, but they could leave you at any moment. How do I know people won't just leave me huh? How am I supposed to know when a relationship is gonna end up with me saying 'I do' or me screaming at myself in tears? Huh? How do I know who I can trust? I can't predict the fucking future and everyone's seems to be two faced nowadays. I mean...I've had my trust broken so many times, that when someone turns their back on me I have no reaction. I'm used to it. I'm used to people getting bored and leaving me to fend for myself. I can't let my guard down to everyone I mean look at where it got me. I'm in a hospital because I felt like dying was my best option for crying out loud" I pour out all my emotions to someone who I've only met a few days ago.

"Interesting..." Is his only response as he writes more down on his notebook.

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Extremely short chapter, but it was meaningful and didn't think adding on after that was appropriate.

Idk I've been very emotional lately.

-XoLeah