Cold. (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter Twelve- Covincing Myself I Don't Care

HARRY'S POV

        After I heard Gracie's footsteps become distant I sat leaning my back against the wall with a large exaggerated sigh. It was such a chore convincing myself I didn't care, but it was something I had to do. I don't...care...about others. Did I really have to go and say that to her? Of course, being sensitive kinda died along with my soul a long time ago. I just couldn't keep it in any longer; it needed to be said, and I knew it had to be said. A slight wave of something close to nausea washed over me. Was this...guilt? No damn way. I don't care if a human being dies, but hurting a human girl? Maybe it's because I'm supposed to protect her that I'm feeling this way.       

        Damn, I never knew being a fucking guardian angel would come with so many damn feelings. I groaned and hit my head on the concrete wall not even bothering to wince. It didn't hurt anyway. I knew I was practically failing majorly at my mission right now, but it's because of these unnecessary feeling. Honestly, I'm her guardian angel not her fucking boyfriend. I would never truly be anyone's boyfriend...or lover for that matter.

        "Speak of the goody-two-shoes," I groan as Niall approaches with a grim expression.

        Uh-Oh. "What's up angel boy?"

        Niall glares. "I saw Gracie; what did you say to her?"

        "I made it clear there should be nothing between us," I grumble never craving alcohol this bad in my life. "I'm an 'angel' anyway. There can't be relationships." 

        Niall bit his lip hard as if thinking hard but then shook his head. I peered at him suspiciously. What did he know that I didn't? "Look, you have to protect her not push her away. Do you have any idea how impossible you're making this?"

        I groan ready to gorge my eyes out. "You think I don't know that, priss pants?"

        "Pull her in as a friend if being lovers is that difficult for you."

        "I don't...love..." I spit at that nasty word. It wasn't something i felt anymore. Let alone attraction really. Sure she's cute with nice eyes and body and...golden hair. I shook my head. What the bloody hell is wrong with me?!

        Niall smiled one of his secret smiles again. "Maybe instead of being cold like a fallen, you can be warm."

        I turn to Niall almost helpless for once. "I've sinned far too much on this mission so far. How can I protect someone like her? Being a fallen is almost all I've knwon."

        Niall turns serious. "Don't say that, Garron." I winced at my 'real' name. "And it's not all you've known. He took that away from you. He took away your other memories. You aren't cold," He placed a hand on my chest and smiled. "You're warm."

        I almost smiled back.