Cold. (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter Fifteen- Once Upon a Time, My Family Broke Apart

  I took a deep breath not even believing I was telling him this. It wasn't something  I liked to talk or think about in any way shape or form. I tried to smile and think of the good times when my father was alive. My father...smiling and happy. That very old but very fond memory alone kept me from sobbing as I told my family's story to a man that, even though we're somewhat friends and he sorta scares me with his coldness, I trusted with my life.
        "My mother, Zoey, was a very high spirited artist all throughout high school. I guess she was somewhat of a hippie, but with a strong sense of who she was and everlasting maturity. She lived in New York for the longest time with her parents, and then when she graudated she decided to move to Arizona to take an art class and hopefully become an art teacher," I smiled at the memory of my young mother struggling to be a perfect art teacher. "She lived there for awhile, and meanwhile my father Nathan was a very smart business man working for a tech company. His job transferred him to Arizona for a couple months. He met my mother and...of course they fell in love and she went with him back to Virgina since she finished school already. She was having a hard time finding a fitting job there and they got engaged. After marrying in Hawaii they picked L.A because my mom loved the art program there, and my father's work was also located in that area so the newlyweds moved." 
        Harry was actually listening quite intently as he stared. "They seemed very happy."
        "The original American lifestyle," I smile almost bitterly. "They had a good three single years traveling together...loving each other. But when mom found out she was pregnant they were excited. But...after awhile my mother had told me my dad hung out with some strange people that she didn't feel comfortable with, and he acted really weird when he came home late at night."
        Harry frowned. "Like...gangs and drugs?"
        I shrug. "I mean, I'm not sure. She wasn't even really sure, but maybe she just lied to keep me from hating him. But I think at sixteen I deserved to know; of course now that I'm older we just block him out. She said he got better after I was born and got his life back together. As I grew older I loved my father very much. You can say I was a daddy's girl."
        I caught Harry smiling having a far off look then looked back at me. I blushed wondering so bad to know what he was thinking about.
        I cleared my throat and continued. "But...when I was about six he didn't seem himself anymore. He skipped work, spent all of his time in the basement, and became increasingly abusive and violent." I shiver at the memory. "He was so...angry. My mother once said he became such an angry soul; so different from her free living spirit. When mom divorced him we moved to another house, the one I lived in with her, and made him get therapy or something before letting me see him."
        "Did he ever...hurt you?" Did I hear almost anger in Harry's voice?
        "Not...exactly. He yelled a lot, and that was enough to scare the crap out of me. I went from loving being around my father to dreading it. Mom said I didn't have to go, but I felt like I needed to. Because he was all alone. He drank a lot, and I think I remember his doctor telling us it's from him repressing something he doesn't want to remember. We...don't really know what that thing was," I frown in frustration. "I always tried figuring it out, but he closed up like a shell if you ever tried. He seemed really run down and got fired from his job; that's when he told me how much he loved me and how he still loved my mother. But he said he was glad of the divorce; that he would've done terrible things to us." I rub my arms. "I didn't like our old house he still lived in. It was too cold, drafty. Like you were being watched to whole time almost, but I guess it was from unpleasant memories in it. I knew I had a bit of paranoia when I was young."
        "What happened to your dad?"
        "He told me moving wouldn't make a difference when I told him to get an apartment," I bit my lip. "He looked haunted or something. He never said too much of anything around me. One day I heard he was sent to a mental institution like my mom knew he would. The said he escaped and was found dead five miles away in nearby woods. Almost like he was attacked by an animal."
        Harry was silent before speaking up. "Do you...miss him?"
        "I missed him more back then," I tried not to cry. "I was depressed for a long time wondering if I too would end up insane. My mom promised it wouldn't happen to me and used all of dad's savings to save for my collage and better our lives. She took me to many places, but I was always quiet and...broken,"
        A trouble almost tortured look crossed Harry's features. "I could never see you that way now. You always smile...and laugh. And joke around all the time. You're like...the normal teenager."
        I gave him a broken smile just like the ones I gave to my mother back then. "Yeah,  I know. That's what Thalia and Kristan told me. They're the only one I've ever told. When I talk about it, it seems more real. But I know I can tell you..."
        "What made you happy again...?"
        I smile my first warm smile as I look back. "One day my mother didn't know what else to do and just brought me down town. There was a shop that made their own clothes, and I couldn't help but admire the designs and fabric. I went there every week and I smiled again. Mom taught me to draw, I took drawing classes in school, and I knew I wanted to be a designer. Mom taught me to sew, and I took classes on design. It was...great. When Goddess Worthy opened when I was thirteen I loved their outfits. I applied for an internship with Thalia and got in. When they found out our deigns could sell we became instant young employees. My life turned around and I loved it."
        Harry smiled softly. "I'm glad something good came out of it...really I am."
        I blink away the tears; not from the memory, but from Harry's sudden foreign tenderness. "Thanks Harry, and my journey is just beginning."
        He scratches the back of his head. "I know I said something mean about your designs before, but I actually...quite like them."
        My eyes shined. "Really!?"
        He looked taken aback and then cleared his throat. "Y-Yeah of course,"
        I stood and hugged him close not caring if he pushed me away. "I was alone and sad...and lost for so many years. But....I actually feel happy again. Like I belong and that I'm accomplishing everything I could ever ask for in my life. Thanks for helping me..."
        "Gracie..."
        I felt him press his lips onto my head and my eyes widened at the sudden contact. Then I closed my eyes and pressed my face onto his chest. This would be a very rare moment with Harry, and I wanted to be enveloped in it and keep it stored in my memory forever.