For As Long As I Exist

chapter 18

Carlisle's point of view

I didn't think I could stop myself at the ballet studio. the minute I tasted her blood, my whole body was latched onto her. memories came flooding into my mind from when I first met her. all I wanted to do taste her blood and then i finally got myself to control myself. and then the second I tasted her blood, I knew I couldn't stop.

I think what made me actually stop is the same reason I stopped from beating James up. I heard Edward say that Katie was dying. I forced myself to stop.
but when I came back to reality, Katie was passed out. she was still breathing but her heart was really slow and weak. I instantly grabbed her and we raced to my car and started to speed towards the hospital. we decided that our story was that we all went hiking and she fell down the mountain and the bite would be from a snake. I know I'm terrible for lying but I can't tell them she was attacked by a vampire.

I ran into the hospital with Katie in my arm, yelling for anyone to help us. a nurse came running over with a gurney and I laid Katie down.

"I'm a surgeon, I think she broke her leg and her wrist." I told the nurse

she nodded and told me to go wait in the waiting room and that they were going to take Katie into surgery. Edward and I sat in the waiting room. in about an hour or so, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie showed up. they both sat down with me and tried to calm me down.

we continued to wait until finally a surgeon came out. I stood up waiting to hear how Katie was doing. he didn't look like how I normally look when I succeed with a operation.

"hello , it might be better if you take a seat" the surgeon shook my hand and nodded towards the chair behind me.

I slowly sat down and he sat beside me.

"I'm dr. shepherd and operated on Katie today, .. well we fixed her broken leg and wrist but she started to crash and we looked into it and it seems that that was some bleeding in the brain." he told me.

"did you fix it??" I started to worry even more.

"yes but we took her to recovery and.. I'm sorry but Katie is in a coma and we are unsure of when or even if she'll wake up." dr. shepherd told me.

my stomach dropped. this was all my fault. why did I have to fall in love with a human.

I asked to see her and the doctor took me down the hallway to her hospital room. he pointed to where she would be and then left us alone to give us privacy.

I walked into the room and walked over to her bedside. she had 4 tubes in each arm and a ventilator in. I turned towards the doorway as a nurse walked in

"I'm really sorry but I need to check her vitals." the nurse walked in.

she held a teddy bear in her hands and laid it on katies lap.

"I stayed with Katie while she was in recovery and I just thought she'd like to be comforted since you couldn't come back yet." the nurse said to me.

"thank you so much." I smiled softly at her.

she then walked over and began taking her pulse to check her vitals.

"why is she on a ventilator." i asked her, looking at Katie.

"during the operation she started to crash after we closed up and she stopped breathing. we had to resuscitate but her heart was very weak so dr. shepherd said to intubate until further notice" the nurse informed me.

she finished with her vitals and then left the room to give us privacy.
I always told my patients families that they should talk to their family member as if they weren't even in a coma. but now that it's me having to talk to Katie, I don't think I can do it.

I took a seat next to her bedside.

"hey Kate. you look good" I tried to talk as normal as I could.

I continued to speak to her until I could no longer talk with a normal voice. I was on the verge of breaking.
this was all my fault. I shouldn't have let this happen.

I sat back in the chair and just stared at Katie.

moments later, Edward walked in. he had something in his hand.

"hey uh Carlisle. we were fixing the ballet studio up and this was on the ground. I have no idea what's on it" Edward said as he handed me a video camera.

I looked at the camera and flipped the 'on' switch, on. Katies face suddenly popped up on the screen.

I watched as she screamed in pain as James broke her leg. he told her to yell for me many times but she refused to. he suddenly threatened to break her other leg so she yelled for me. I heard her yell "Carlisle please help me". 

she yelled for me and I wasn't there to save her..

my hand started shaking as I watched and listened to her screaming when he bit her. I couldn't watch no more and I crushed the camera in my hands.

•••

three weeks passed and there was no sign of Katie waking up. I started to think this would be the end and she'd never wake up.

Charlie and Katie's mom ,Renee has never left the hospital since I called them. I waited to call until 3 days later. I felt wrong for not telling them sooner, but I didn't know what to tell them.

they finally left for the first time in weeks to go freshen up. I decided to go for a walk down to the cafeteria to get my mind off of Katie, even tho I knew it wouldn't work.

••
nobody's point of view

Carlisle left the room , leaving Katie still in a coma, laying in bed in her hospital room.

Nurse Stevens , became connected to Katie so she stayed near her all the time. she left the room to go check on some stuff so Katie was all alone.

it was silent, besides the beeps from the heart monitor and the sound of the ventilator running.

Katie could hear everything going on but she just couldn't wake up. she felt nothing and couldn't move her body. she heard nurse Stevens leave the room and it was quiet again.
she had no clue who nurse stevens was but she talked to Katie every day and made her feel like she wasn't alone.
suddenly her neck started to hurt and she could feel like there was something in her throat. she started to choke and couldn't breathe.

nurse Stevens came running into the room "she's fighting the intubation! somebody come in here!"

a bunch of nurses and dr. shepherd came running in and surrounded Katie. they removed the tubes that was down her throat and made sure she could breathe on her own. 

her eyes remained shut and she sat there sleeping still.

"she should wake up soon if she fought the intubation." dr shepherd said and left the room after all was well.

nurse stevens stayed in Katie's room and sat next to her. katies finger suddenly started to move. then her eyes slowly started to open. her breathing started to speed up and her eyes darted all around the room.

"hey shh it's okay!" nurse Stevens said to her, trying to calm her down "you were in an accident and you've been in a coma, you're all better now"

Katie opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out yet.

suddenly only one word came out of her mouth.

"C-Carlisle"