For As Long As I Exist

chapter 23

please answer the question of the day in the comments guys.
  after reading this chapter, what do you think is going to happen next and why do you think Katie is feeling this way???

3 dates. Carlisle has been on 3 dates and has gotten no progress. no girl meets his standards. each girl he meets, he looks for all of katies qualities and features. in his mind, nobody has them.

Katie has stayed home since the break up. she was half walking, and half not but it was more progress than before.

the first time she walked was on Friday night. it was the night after she told Carlisle to leave her alone. charlie came in that afternoon and opened her window for fresh air.
when the evening came around , Katie thought about how Carlisle sometimes came through the window. she got up and tried her best to get over to the window. it took a long time but she finally got there. she locked it and was proud of herself.
but locking the window made her a little upset about not seeing Carlisle again, but she thought that it was best for herself.

it was a Sunday afternoon and Katie was yet again, home. she sat in her bed, looking out the window , bored as ever.
she suddenly got an idea that she should try to do more walking. she slowly got up and slipped her boots and jacket on and made her way down the stairs.

"where are you going" Charlie looked over, surprised that she was actually up and out of bed.

"I'm gonna go buy us donuts. it'll be good to walk some" Katie replied and grabbed her car keys.

she slowly headed out towards her car, and got into the drivers seat. it took a little time for Katie to get the hang of pressed the gas pedal with her hurt leg but she finally was able to do it.

it took about 10 minutes to get into town. Katie parked in the free parking lot and got out and began walking on the sidewalk.
the donut shop was about 5 stores down. as Katie was making her way down the street slowly, she noticed someone familiar across the street.

he was with another person .. a girl. they were eating lunch and laughing and they looked like they were having a great time. the minute Katie saw him, her heart slowly broke into tiny pieces.
it was Carlisle.

Katie looked down at the sidewalk and took in a deep breath. she looked back up at the two and watched for a few minutes. she then began walking down the street again and into the donut shop.

she walked into the donut shop and began looking at the menu of the donut flavors. she glanced at all the names and waited for the cashier to not be busy, so she could order.

"next!" the lady said.

Katie began to step towards the lady but instantly felt a sharp pain shoot up her leg. her knees began to buckle beneath her and she slowly fell to the ground.

2 of the workers came running over towards Katie.
Katie didn't know what to think. her heart began to speed up and she started breathing fast. her vision became blurry and she could hardly breathe.

"oh my gosh. are you okay?!?" the lady tried to calm Katie down.

Katies eyes darted all around the room and she opened her mouth to speak. only one word came out.
"Carlisle"
>>>>>>>>

Carlisle acted like he was having a good time with his forth date but in reality , he wasn't.

he couldn't keep his mind off of Katie. he missed her so much.

"so , what all do you do when you work?" the girl asked Carlisle.

he smiled faintly and opened his mouth preparing to speak.

before her could say a word, he heard fast breathing and quiet whimpers. he couldn't tell where it was coming from, but it sounded familiar. he couldn't exactly tell who it was until he heard them actually speak.

the unknown person whispered his name. the unknown person was Katie.

<<<<<<<<<<

Carlisle bursted through the donut shop and looked around for Katie. his eyes focused on her. she was on the ground breathing really hard and fast.

he ran over to her and crouched down next to her.

"hey. hey Katie it's alright, look at me." Carlisle placed his had onto her shoulder.

Katie remained shaking and breathing hard.

"I -I ca-nt. I c-can't s-stop." she freaked out.

Carlisle reached for katies hand and lifted her up off the ground.

"come on Katie , come with me" he ushered her out the door.

he pulled Katie behind the donut shop and towards the walking trail in the woods. he wanted to go somewhere quiet and secluded so she could calm down.

he knew exactly what was wrong. she was having a panic attack.

"Katie look at me." he said, placing his hands on her shoulders "shh look at me"

Katie kept hyperventilating. Carlisle didn't know what else to do so he did the first the came to his mind.

he whispered to her. "Katie shh" and then pressed his soft cold lips onto hers. he began to passionately kiss Katie as he heard her heart and her breathing slow down to a normal speed.

he pulled away and just looked at her. he didn't think he should've done that because she didn't love him no more.

"um- I read when I was doing research that when having a panic attack, it helps if you hold your breath. I know you hate me so I knew that when Id kiss you, you'd hold your breath.." Carlisle stepped back a few steps.

Katie just stood there with her mouth slightly open. she enjoyed that so much and she realized that she missed him but she knew that loving him would only get herself hurt.

"u-uh um.. thanks" Katie whispered faintly as she caught her breath finally.

"y-you look good. I see you're walking finally" he looked at her.

"yeah. um I've been trying to get better lately." she closed her eyes for a second.

the minute her eyelids shut, memories of all the bad things that happened with Carlisle appeared in her mind.

all the accidents, the ballet studio, being hunted, the coma , being unable to walk.

katies eyes jerked open.

Carlisle looked up at her with worry but then shook it off thinking everything was fine.

Katie met eyes with Carlisle and just stared.
he gave her one of those half smiles that always made her heart skip a beat everytime he did it , no matter how long they were together. but this time, something was different. .

her heart didn't skip a beat.

ok yes I know I did a teen wolf reference in this when she had a panic attack. I just love that part so much. butttt I'm back guys! I have a strained hip flexor which has me in a lot of pain and I'm out of track for 4-6 weeks but other than that, I'm finee ! haha but thank you all ❤️❤️