We Both Walk Among the Dead: A Percy Jackson Fanfiction

Uhh I think this is Ch. 11...

Alright, I've decided to finish this story once and for all :) Please comment people, and check out my other story, Into the Looking Glass :) Oh, and I need someone to make a cover for this story please!! The person who does will get the next chapter dedicated to them, and I will read their story and comment at least 3 times on it!! If you're interested, just comment below saying so :) Thanks, and enjoy :))

            The stars were hidden, grey clouds obscuring the sky from my one source of comfort. The rough bark of the tree against my back grated my skin through my thin t-shirt, as I slid down its surface to form a huddled position at its base. No matter what I did, the sobs wouldn’t end, literally ripping through me from some deep, vulnerable place I’d ignored for years, tearing through all the barriers I’d made from it, and bursting through my mouth with the force of a scream. My throat was as swollen as my eyes felt, and it physically hurt to have the sobs squeeze through it. But I’d smothered them for years, and there were too many of them now to force them back in.

My eyes were streaming far too much for me to be able to even see, so I closed them as best as I could with the steady gush of salty water being emitted from them. Without the sight and reading of the stars to distract me, I knew I would have to succumb to the inner turmoil of feelings that I was terrified to confront.

I’d known what I’d said to him all along; it was no surprise to me. But I’d never actually thought about it, never really realized how I felt about it. That I was absolutely hateful and spiteful of myself for acting so cold-hearted to everyone, and that I was embarrassed and shameful of it. But the reason why I pushed others away, and steeled myself to survive on my own was that I was completely scared of other people. Beneath my closed and wet eyelids, I could still picture the exact scene of when I was six, the dust from the dirt road trailing up into clouds as the vanishing form of my father’s car left me.

If I let others in, they had the chance to hurt me. They had the ability to break me down even more than any outside being could, and that danger was what I’d known, psychologically, to defend myself against the most. But it was starting to crumble, to break down ever the slightest bit, in the company of people who affected me more than I ever thought they could. Especially one with shaggy dark hair.

            I held in my cry and sobs as I viciously slammed my head back against the tree trunk, creating a dull thud in my head. There was no way I could face him again after what I’d said. The embarrassment would literally kill me, cause me to shrivel up into a tiny ball and disintegrate right onto the floor. Hades, I’d just had to mention my repressed attraction to his admittedly sexy hair.

More sobs were ripped out of me, while I mentally contemplated what was making me feel so bad. Was it the realization that I actually did hate myself for how I treated others? Was it the loneliness that I’d had to battle my entire life, because I knew I had to push others away? Or was it the fact that, even after a taste of being somewhat accepted and cared for, I knew I could never have it, because the only ones that accepted me were so different from me, being the children of my divine enemies?

I shuddered, allowing my self-control to slip out of me with the sobs, and shook violently. Maybe it was because I knew I’d long for the comfort of being accepted again all my life, but it wouldn’t be so long because I was going to die soon. And that fact, because it was a mix of wanting to die to leave my horrid life and self, dread of dying because I’d finally found the acceptance that made my existence almost pleasant, and pure not wanting to die at all because I’m just a fifteen-year-old girl who wants to live just peacefully and happily, was what I knew, instinctively, that hurt me the most.