Lost

Chapter 10

Belle's POV

I don't know where I'm going. I wasn't paying any attention to the roads when I was in the car. It's been so long since that trip from the hospital. What if I get lost? What if I AM lost?

The very thought of being lost in a place that is of no familiarity to me whatsoever, scares me. It scares me so much that I can feel my heart starting to race and the new thoughts of panic swirling around in my brain. I can feel that. It makes me realize that I really don't know what I am doing. I have never done anything like this before. How long am I just supposed to walk? I have no food and nowhere to sleep. When it's nighttime, what if something bad happens? I know stuff happens at night. Bad things...

Maybe I should go back. This was a bad idea. I never should have left. Maybe if I just go back the way I came and then...I'll find my way back?

I begin to think that my journey is just about the biggest mistake I have ever made in my whole entire life and that the best thing to do would be to go back. After all, I've been walking for about 10 minutes now and my feet are already very sore. In short tired baby steps, I turn myself around and head back to the orphanage very, very slowly-giving me more time to think clearly about all of this.

My mind could not be any more stressed and strained and the more I walked the more I couldn't help but to think of the very many consequences I would have to face if I went back.

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If you have ever had an argument with yourself, then you must know how hard it is to seek a solution when there are good reasons for both sides. But if you've ever had to make a life-changing decision, all on your own, well, that's a very difficult thing to do when you are only 7 and when you are only 7 you tend to overlook certain things because, well, you're only 7. What can be expected of you if you're only 7? At the time, the very thing I overlooked was the very reason for this story in the first place: the dangers of the real world. I say 'real' because as a child, the world doesn't seem like such a dangerous place. A child's world may only consist of people that want to hug them, or help them, or take care of them. The reason for that being, we are surrounded by family and friends from the very start and until reality decides to slap you in the face, you never really understand what it's like beyond that-because beyond that, beyond love, is hatred.

Love and hate. Two words. Two emotions. Two feelings that could very well be the difference between life and death. Many people in this world use the word 'hate' lightly and let me tell you something: It bothers me. There's a difference between dislike and hate. For instance, Annie dislikes me. I know that for a fact. But she never did hate me. No one at the orphanage hated me. In reality, they were just there to help me, to aid me; even though it may not have seemed like it, they cared. If only I had realized that sooner...

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Belle's POV

My mind was beginning to feel more and more harassed by thoughts to the point where I actually had to sit down (at the edge of the road) to rest my aching head. But no, this did not stop me from thinking.

But if I go back... Ms. Hableknuck would be so mad. She might lock me up in the 'naughty room'. I don't wanna go back to the 'naughty room'. It's so dark and cold and they have to give your food through a metal slot and the food isn't even food. It's more like slop...or at least that's what I've heard. Even a minute in there is bad enough. What if she locks me up for days? DAYS?! Oh no. I can't go back. Besides, Bethany is gone now. No one would miss me, especially not Annie...or Catherine...or Judy...or Mary...or anyone. Why should I go back? No. I am going to find my granny no matter what! She's the only one who can take care of me now. She just has to be okay; she just has to! She'll take me in and everything will be okay. I just have to get to the hospital, she's probably there still-waiting for me.

With this new found confidence, I stand right back up on my feet and look back into the distance and stare at the ground I have covered so far. The orphanage lies beneath the hill I am on, surrounded by many trees and a dusty old pond, where there used to be water before the drought. The orphanage itself looks like a run-down stump of dirty white concrete with a dirt road winding down the front. It isn't until you get over the hill that the dirt turns into an asphalt road. Beyond from where I stand, is just about the rest of the world...

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