Prologue
“It’s so exciting! So exciting! So very exciting! There are still so many things I don’t know about in this city! Even as I speak, something new is appearing, emerging, and something else is fading away. How can I leave a place where so many humans gather? HUMAN LOVE! I love humans! I love you all!
In Ikebukuro, Tokyo, strange groups of people gather: youths who yearn for an extraordinary life, trouble-making hooligans, crazy stalker girls, informants who sell information for their own enjoyment, underground doctors who treat unconventional ‘ailments’, high schoolers obsessed with the occult and, of course, a headless black biker.
Together, these strange characters tell a very unusual story, and very intriguing one at that. Twisted as they are, however, they still can talk about love.
This is a twisted story:
“Seiji-san! Seiji-san! Are you home? I’m here again! Oh my, you accidentally locked the door again? Now I can’t get in!”
Danger, danger. The stalker has invaded my home. She’s been banging on my door and she won’t even ring the doorbell. What the hell is she thinking?
“The door’s locked! Seiji-san, you aren’t sleeping, are you? Ah—it’s my first time calling on a guy while he’s asleep! I’m so bold!”
Warning, warning…I’ve been on my toes since last week. Last week I saved two bumpkins from being harassed by some hooligan. I’d asked and found out that they were going to the same high school as I was and would be studying in the same first-year class. But I never expected for things to turn out this way. The other girl was a polite little goody two shoes, but this one…
“Well…actually I…I’ve always liked Seiji-san! Do you remember? During the entrance exam, I was sitting right beside Seiji-san! The guy sitting to my right had this totally awesome name like ‘Ryuugamine Mikado’ and I wanted to know what kind of name the person on my left had, so I turned and—it was love at first sight! From that day on I’ve always remembered Seiji-san’s name! Even though I didn’t have the guts to confess to you that day…but just last week, Seiji-san saved me, and then I thought at that moment…ah, this must be fate! Do you know how much courage that gave me? So– So, let me look at you again, won’t you? Seiji-san, I really want to look at that strong, energetic face of yours! Please please, pretty please, Seiji-san!”
Caution, caution. After I saved this kid, she’d secretly followed me home. And she did it every day of the week after that. Even after I told her to fuck off plenty of times. That crap she shouted just now? I’ve heard it two thousand times.
“Don’t tell me you’re ill, Seiji-san?! Are you so sick that you can’t answer me? That’s no good! Hurry and open the door, Seiji-san! Since the day of the entrance exam, I’ve been looking up stuff about you, Seiji-san! I know your birthday, about your family…everything about you!”
Police. Police. I told her I was going to call the police—she’d only backed down after I told her that.
Three hours after the invasion, I guessed that the girl had already gone home, so I decided to buy some stuff at the convenience store downstairs. As I held the toothpaste and weekly in my hand, images of that denpa-girl1 flashed across my mind.
My first impression of her was a rather pretty girl with a touch of maturity and sophistication. Perhaps ‘beautiful lady’ would be a better description. But why would a lovely girl like her have no boyfriend? What I’d just experienced was the perfect answer to that question. No matter how cute that denpa-girl was, I would still politely decline her affections. If it had been someone who really wanted a girlfriend, they wouldn’t have to think twice about accepting her love; as for me, I’m not interested. Not even a little. Because I already have a ‘girlfriend’.
