Michael Clifford Imagines/Preferences

Countdown

Ten. The number of missed calls you had from Calum. You couldn't get a hold of him, it went straight to voicemail. You ran to your car and tried to start it as fast possible, you could feel your heart beating out of your chest. Something wasn't right, Calum never called you unless it was important. You drove to his house, but nobody was home. You pounded on the door, hoping that someone, anyone would open it and tell you what was going on, but there was nothing. You started calling all of the guys, and each one went to voicemail. Were their phones off on purpose? Were they playing a cruel joke on you?

Nine. The number of years you had been together. You met in the middle of Target. You were looking at an album, and he came up behind you. "Y'know I've hear that album is pretty good." You turned to say something but quickly realized it was his face on the album. He glanced at you and couldn't help but notice how beautiful you were. It was the stuff people dream of. Love at first sight, an instantaneous connection that could be felt by both people. A feeling that could only be described as happy beyond belief. Knowing that something was going to happen between you two, be it good, bad, and everything in between.

Eight. The number of times you and Michael had fought. Screaming matches where you could feel your vocal chords begging for you to stop. He would storm out and be gone for hours, and you never knew where he was going. He would always come back though, you could count on that. You would sit in your room sobbing and try to rationalize what had just happened, and he would sit somewhere quiet and try to think it through. Eventually you make yourself do something, even if it was just going to get the mail. During your first fight you were folding laundry, and he walked straight up to you a kissed you, and you knew he was sorry, and so were you. He sent you tulips the next day. Every fight since then he's always sent you tulips after it's over.

Seven. The number of times you had visited him on tour. Each time you would pack your things and he would make you triple check your list. He'd call right before you got on the plane to make sure you were okay. You'd pray that you would get to him safely. As soon as the plane landed you would hurry through customs and all the different checkpoints. You couldn't help it, you knew he was waiting at the end with a kiss and a hug. He usually had a sign too, it normally said "I love you y/n" in mess handwriting. There was no better feeling than getting to embrace him after not being with him for so long. He always smelled like laundry detergent from his clothes. He always had his arms open for you. He was always waiting for you.

Six. The number of times you had driven around town. Still unsure as to what was happening. Why was nobody answering? Where was everyone? You had driven to every guy's house in hopes they'd be home, but nobody was there. You picked up your phone one last time to call Calum and he answered quietly, "Y/n?" You spoke panicked, "Calum, what's going on? Why is nobody answering?" There was silence on the other end of the line. When he spoke up his voice broke, "Come to the hospital downtown, there was an accident." You quickly hung up, you had a lot of questions, but the sooner you got there, the sooner they'd be answered.

Five. The number of times you had seen Michael cry. He always tried to hold it together for you. Sometimes he couldn't, and those were the times you knew you needed to be strong for him. He would sob on your shoulder, and you would hold him and tell him what he needed to hear. Sometimes he just needed to know that everything would be all right. Sometimes he just needed to know that you still loved him. You always found that funny though.You would always still love him. He had become a part of your very being, he's what held you together when it felt like the world was crashing down. You could never stop loving him.

Four. The number of stoplights left until you got to the hospital. Each light felt like an eternity. The first light was red, and as you sat there waiting you could only imagine what the accident was. Surely everything would be okay. Everything would always be okay as long as you had Michael. The second light was red, and you stared at it in hopes that it would change faster. You knew it wouldn't work, but you had never been more scared in your life. The third light was yellow, and you pressed the gas pedal harder so you could pass through the intersection before it turned red. Some things are worth the risk. The fourth light was green and you passed through the intersection and turned into the hospital parking structure.

Three. The number of words Michael said that could always make you melt. "I love you" was all it took to make you feel happy sometimes. On your darkest days it was the ray of sunshine that could put a smile on your face. On your happiest days it was the icing on the cake. The first time he said it to you, you were in the middle of a party. His friends asked who you were and he said you were the love of his life. You turned to him stunned, "what?" And he gently squeezed your hand and smiled, "I love you." Oh how you longed to hear him say those words again. Just once more, that's all you wanted, you wanted to get that happy feeling one more time.

Two. The number of nurses in the room. You walked in and all you could see were the guys and their families surrounding a bed. They made room for you and you could see Michael covered in gashes. An oxygen mask over his face, you knew this wasn't going to be good. "What-what happened?" Ashton took hold of you and choked back tears, "car accident, head on collision, his airbag didn't work." Everyone had already said their goodbyes and now it was just you who was left to tell Michael you loved him one last time. He could hear you, he was conscious, but he knew he wasn't going to surive.

One. The number of times you said I love you while saying goodbye. "Michael, babe, sweetheart, hon, you know you're my best friend, and you always will be. You cared for me when nobody else was there for me. You are the kindest, most amazing person I've ever met. My entire life has changed since you've been in it, and I thank you for this incredible journey. I'm going to miss you, but I know you'll always be with me, because you're the love of my life. I'll dream about you, and I'll remember you everyday as long as I live. Because I love you Michael Clifford, and I always will."

Zero. The amount of time you had left with him. As the heart monitor flat lined, you knew that was your last moment with him. You kissed his cheek, and whispered, "I love you." And at that moment, you wanted nothing more than to hear him whisper it back, but he wasn't going to, and you knew it.