Fire Starter ♔ Bellamy Blake [1]

06 |F E A R

F I R E  S T A R T E R|

I  D I D N ' T  S L E E P

After the whoops and cheers of the delinquents died down to something less than a whisper. I didn't sleep after all that was left of the fire was ashes and traces of burnt debris. I didn't sleep after the sun took it's final breath before ducking away beyond the treetops.

I didn't sleep.

And within those sleepless hours I've learned that the night is dangerous as during no other time do you allow your mind to wander so. It just can't be helped.

Like the hankering to know if anyone else besides us inhabits this green terrain. Or to know if Nova made it down here safely, if she made it down at all. I'll give anything to be certain my efforts, my guilt, and my pain weren't taken for granted. But that's the thing-I don't know. And who's to say I ever will.

My fingers lightly traced the scar on my right arm, trailing the rigid bump from my wrist  down to my elbow subconsciously as I stared down the brown wall of my makeshift tent. The very texture brought back a face that should never resurface in my mind. Yet here I sit on the ground as I didn't have time to build myself a bed of some sort, remembering every little detail of that day; the way smoke filled my nose, the way his yells mixed in with those of the guards who's purpose was to stop us, the precious cries of Nova who didn't know any better of the misfortune that took place around us.

The traces no longer felt light against my skin. Instead my nails had raked into my flesh, greedily hoping to pierce the layer while my eyes watered. My nose grew stuffy and my cheeks felt heated, I can tell there's blotches of red without needing to see my reflection.

And I guess I'm a mess or just lonely or bitter but I know my head's a storm and my chest feels empty. My thoughts were wearing me down so I tried not to think anymore, but the silence was a killer too. Because silence isn't really silent-not when it catches you alone. It speaks, it screams, and its deafening. So loud my mind didn't process the desperate yelps from outside. Hell, I spent half the night wondering if those noises were real or another cruel memory of the past coming back to taunt me.

And taunt me it did, all the way into the morning when I didn't realize the sun's rays washing through my tent's walls until Wells popped his head inside the opening.

"Blaze, are you awake? Oh, good, we need to get the shovel and..." Wells' voice faltered as his gaze caught my dry eyes and hunched figure. "Are you okay?" 

I offered a closed lipped smile and passed him to stand outside with the rest of the busy camp, stretching my back and legs from their aching positions of last night. He slowly inched towards me only to take hold of one of my arms and examine the light pink scraps that are nearly finished fading.