Shameless ~ Bellamy Blake

11~ The Return

I sat there for a moment, staring down at the wound in Atom's neck. After kissing me Bellamy sat there with me. The knife still lie in my hand, the blade still plunged in Atom's neck. I grab the sides of Atom's head and move it from my lap to the ground. 

"Murphy! Get a cot!" Bellamy yells towards camp. 

Murphy and two other guys who I don't know bring a makeshift cot over and load Atom's body onto it. 

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asks as the boys walk away with Atom's body hanging low. 

"Y-yeah. I think so." I mumble. "I need to go help Clarke with Jasper." I say trying not to look at Bellamy.

Bellamy went to protest but I was already half way over to the drop ship before he could say anything. 

Bellamy is playing with my feelings. He doesn't understand how much what he said last night killed me. He told me that the kiss yesterday meant nothing. That it was just in the heat of the moment. But then he goes and kisses me again. It literally makes no sense. Tomorrow he'll probably tell me that that one didn't mean anything either. "It was just in the heat of the moment."

I climb the ladder to the second floor of the drop ship. Clarke, Finn and Wells are sitting away from Jasper. Jasper looks to be in a deep sleep. My heart skips a beat as I see him, my mind going to the worst possible scenario.

"He's just asleep." Octavia says, a few tears threatening to spill.

I take a seat next to her and stare straight forward.

"I'm sorry about Atom, O." I say not looking at her.

"I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren't we?" Octavia says, pushing back the tears.

"I guess so." I say, looking down at my hands. There is still blood on them. I try desperately to scrape it off, but it doesn't work. 

"Here," Finn says, handing me a bottle of whiskey. "Looks like you need it." 

I let out a chuckle before grabbing the bottle and taking a swig. The take we repulsive but at the same time it was fantastic. I wince a little as the burning liquid slips down my throat and then I hand it to Octavia. 

Octavia takes a sip, "Disgusting...I love it."

"Can I, uh, get a hit of that?" Jasper says, slightly lifting up his head.

"Jasper!" I say jumping up and running over to him, only to crouch back down next to him.

"Let's start with the soft stuff." Monty laughs beaming over Jasper.

"Welcome back, buddy." Finn says smiling widely.

"Was that a dream, or did I get speared?" Jasper says looking down at his wound. 

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it." Clarke says, smiling slightly.

"My savior." Jasper says.

"Thank you for not dying." I say brushing some of his hair out of his face. "I don't think I could've taken that today."

"I'll try not to die tomorrow too, if that's cool." Jasper says.

I laugh and could not help but feel the relief flood over me that Jasper is okay. It was like my body went into relax mode. Something I haven't felt in the last four days.