Sanctuary

What Just Happened?

FARKLE'S POV

Did Lucas just say what I think he said? Did he really just say he loves Riley? I look over at Maya and she nods.

MAYA'S POV

YES YES YESSY YES YES!!!!! LUCAS FINALLT GOT THE CHANCE TO TELL RILEY HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HER!!!!! I know that most ex's want the other to burn in hell, but I actually ship Rucas SO HARD!!! I'm fan-girling so much right now. Now that she knows that he loves her it's time to show him how bad her scars are. Riley's eyes grow wide and she looks at me and I smirk at her. She then looks back at Lucas and doesn't know what to do or say. I take this as my opertunity to show Lucas Riley's scars. I look over at Farkle who's standing by the light switch with the same look in his face and nod. Sorry Riley, but Ranger Rick is the only one who can bring you back and he needs to know how bad this is.

LUCAS' POV

Did I really just say that? The funny thing is, I don't even care. I don't care that I could have just ruined my friendship with Riley forever because it's true and I wouldn't take it back for anything. I've been trying to tell her for so long but I never got the chance, and now that I've said it, it feels good. It felt like I was supposed to say it. I felt like it was supposed to be said to Riley and only Riley, because Riley's the only one I ever want to say that to. Her eyes widened and she looked at Maya, who had a smirk on her face, and then back to me. I knew what Maya was going to do but it was to late for me to stop her. Before I knew it she had nodded to Farkle and my vision blurred for a second before I had all the color drained from my body.

RILEY'S POV

Did he just say what I think he said? That can't be, he loves Maya, not me. He always loved Maya. She was his blond beauty and I was just the pretty brunette. This has to be a mistake, right? My eyes grew wide and I looked at Maya who had a smirk on her face. What is she doing? Shouldn't she be mad that her ex-boyfriend just said that he loves me in front of her face. I know I would be. I let it go for now and looked back at Lucas. How could he LOVE me? I know that I should have said something but I didn't know what to do. I just stood there. Frozen. Not knowing what to do. All of a sudden my vision went blurry and when it came back I saw what had happened. There he was, standing there. He had all the color drained from his face as he looked me up and down. Farkle turned the lights on.

THIRD PERSON POV

Lucas just stared at Riley. He kept looking at her up and down in complete disbelief at what he was looking at. He knew that Riley was cutting herself because he had heard herself say it when she confessed to Farkle and Maya, but her had no idea that it was this serious. All he could do was look at his princess as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

RILEY'S POV

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, NO!!!!! Now he can see all the scars. Now he can see all the pain I've suffered. Now he can see that I'm a freak with nothing but scars,
A BROKEN SOUL.

Now what's going to happen?

Will he leave me?

Of course he's going to leave you. He doesn't want a girl who looks like a freak. Who would want someone as ugly as her. A fat girl who cuts herself because she can't have her way. Who wants some one like that. He was just trying to make you feel better when he said he loves you. He doesn't love you. He never has and he never will.

My conscience was full of these kinds of thoughts as I stared at Lucas scared of what he might say. The next thing I knew Maya and Farkle were gone and it was just Lucas and I. I didn't know what to do so I just went and sat on my bed, my back up against the back board. I stared at my feet and I could feel Lucas' eyes staring at me. I didn't move at all. The he spoke up.

THIRD POV

L: Why didn't you tell me?

R: I already told you. You already know.

L: But why? Riley, there's more to it then just me being with Maya. There's something your hiding. I can see it in you eyes can you please just talk to me?

R: When I had a bad day, a really bad day, I tried to treat the world better than it treated me. I'm going to have to fight through some bad days to get through the best days of my life. I told myself that while some days are hard, there's hope in tomorrow, but now I doubt that's even true. When you first chose Maya, Farkle asked me if I was okay. I told him that I was fine. And I said the same thing to you and Maya when you asked me again the next day. You know what I didn't say though? I didn't say," I'm fine. I get it. She's prettier, skinnier, nicer, funnier, better. Trust me I wouldn't have chosen me either." For all the days you asked he," How are you," again I said I was fine. What I wanted to say was broken, useless, alone, clueless, confused, fragile, betrayed, on the verge of tears, depressed, anxious, about to break down, ready to give up, pathetic, annoying, I'm just a burden, distant, lonely, bitter, heartbroken, rejected, crushed, I feel like I'm going to fall apart at any moment, empty, defeated, or never good enough. That's what I wanted to say, but instead I said I was fine or just stayed silent, but let me tell you another thing. Sometimes I pretend I'm having a good day when I'm not. Sometimes I get tired of explaining. I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understood from their level of perception. Silence doesn't always mean "yes". Sometimes it means," I'm tired of explaining to people who don't even care to understand that I'm slowly dying inside with every moment of my existence."

There was a long pause in which Lucas just starred at her, and then she spoke up again.

R: Did you know that missing someone and not being able to see them is the worst feeling in the world? I felt like the weight of the world was crushing me every second that I thought you were with her. I created a new cut every hour so that I could have something to take my mind off the emotional pain. Seeing the guy you love with another girl kills you. It's like, he's right there and all you have to do is say that you still like him the way he likes you and he might come back, or you could get thrown away and break even more. Either you get your happily ever after and kill someone else's the selfish way, or you can suffer quietly while everyone gets their happily ever after and there's only one person suffering. I did what I knew was right and I can't take that back. I do want to be with you Lucas, more than you know, but I don't want to lose you! I don't want to end up like my Uncle Eric and Aunt Rachel or like My Uncle Shawn and Aunt Angela! I don't want that for us and I'm not going to let it happen. I'm not going to lose what we have just because of my feelings. I'm just going to have to learn to control them.

L: RILEY YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOU FEELINGS!!! LOOK AT YOU WRISTS, THEY SHOW YOU THAT YOU CAN'T!! Riley I'm not going to pretend that I don't love you!

R: No you don't love me Lucas! If you did love me you wouldn't have been with Maya. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU LOVED ME WHEN YOU HAD SOMEONE ELSE?!?!? You don't love me Lucas. It's as simple as that.

L: RILEY WOULD YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!! YOU AREN'T MAKING ANY SENSE!! One second we have an unofficial thing, then we're brother and sister, then you love me again? I never once stopped loving YOU Riley!!! I never loved Maya in that way and I never will. Can't you see Riley, I LOVE YOU!!!

R: THEN PROVE IT LUCAS!!!

Riley stood up from her bed and turned off the lights.

R- I do t want you to see these scars anymore. I'm done with them now.

Riley walked over to where he was standing.

R: SO FAR ALL I'VE EVER GOTTEN IS A BUNCH OF DISAPPOINTMENTS!! HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME IF YOU ONLY DISAPPOINT ME, HUH?!?!? YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE YOU? PROVE IT TO ME!!! PROVE YOU WON'T BREAK MY HEART AGAIN, because if it breaks again, I'm not going to be around anymore. So go ahead prove it to me. My heart is broken and so am I. All I want is for you to prove it. If you can do that for me, I'll take a chance. I'll put my heart on the line for you. I'll risk it all for you if you prove it, but so far you haven't so I guess we're back to where we started.

Riley took a breath and calmed down. When she did she looked back into his eyes and spoke one last time.

R: You want to keep saying you love me? Prove it.

Riley started to walk away when Lucas finally decided something for himself. Lucas grabbed Riley's arm and spun her around so that she was close to him, so close that they were only a few centimeters away from eachother. Their faces were even closer as they looked into each others eyes and then.....