If This Was A Movie - A Joshifer Fanfiction

Chapter 31

Jen's POV
It's been two long, horrendous weeks in the hospital and I'm finally being let go today. My pneumonia has mostly cleared and I feel a lot better now, but I still have a pretty bad cough.
I'm standing by my hospital bed, gathering what little I brought in here; my purse, my phone, my wallet, car keys, and shoes. That's it. The rest is disturbingly clean things that belong to the hospital. I stuff everything in my purse and then slip on my shoes. I'm halfway through tying them when I hear someone open the door and softly close it. I can tell, without looking up, that it's Josh. "Hey Joshy." I say softly, kissing him on the head. A small, concealed smile plays on his lips. "Hey, Weirdo." He says. "I'm so glad you're doing better. If anything feels wrong we'll come straight back here, okay? I don't want anything more to happen." He says. I smile. "You sound like my mother." I say, poking him in the arm. He smiles. There's a brief silence in the room before he shifts his eyes to meet mine. "Where are we going now?" He asks me. I assume he's talking about the road trip. "Home?" I question, hoping for an enthusiastic answer. "Home." He says, a smile playing on his face. This smile is an adorable one that I know to be his. I have to resist the urge to kiss him. I ruffle his hair instead and finish tying my shoes, then grabbing my purse and walking out of the hospital room. Josh follows me to the front waiting room where we first checked in and I'm given paperwork to complete. I sigh and flop down into a chair. I begin the long and tedious task of hospital paperwork. Josh sits down next to me and takes my right hand, the one I'm not writing with.
I finish the paperwork in around twenty minutes and am then officially discharged. As I step out the hospital doors, I breathe a sigh of relief. The sigh brings on a fit of coughing, but regardless I'm so happy to be free of that sterile hospital. I can't wait to be home. To be back in my house with Pippi and to be able to talk to Amanda and to have snacks whenever I want. Snacks. Always the number one priority.
A few people are staring at us and pointing. Someone holds up their phone to take a photo of us. That's when I realize that I look like a mess; my hair is in a messy ponytail and I haven't made any effort to hide my identity. Makeup hasn't been on my face for at least three weeks. I didn't even bring any sunglasses with me.
Josh has some with him, though. He takes off his own pair and slides them on my face. I look over at him. "Joshy, you didn't have to do that." I say, taking the sunglasses off and putting them back on him. He laughs. "Gotta look out for you, Weirdo." I smile and playfully elbow him. My eyes show clear affection as I gaze up at him for a few long seconds. He glances back at me, but then continues to walk and shifts his gaze toward the ground. I notice that more people have gathered around us and are taking photos. I don't mind it, though. The photos have probably been released to the public by now but I don't care; I'm with Josh. Everything is easier when he is by my side, whether it's premieres or just facing the press and paparazzi. I'm so incredibly grateful to have him in my life. And, god, I love him so much. I never knew that it was even possible to love someone this deeply and strongly before I experienced it. With so many other people, it might've felt awkward to love someone so much. But not for me. Loving him is like the first magnificent blooming flower in spring after a cold winter. Loving him is like running around frolicking in the autumn leaves and laughing without a care in the world. Like running around in the first snow of winter as a child, throwing snowballs and laughing and coming inside for warm drinks. The kind of raw perfection that isn't always so perfect, but it's beautiful in its own way. The pure happiness and bliss that comes with being hopelessly in love with someone. When you fall for them, there's no way to undo it. There isn't really a way to hide it, either. You just end up falling more and more in love with this person until they've consumed your thoughts and your life. That's how I feel about Josh. I tried to deny my love for him at first, but all it did was make me fall more in love with him. And here we are now, a boyfriend and girlfriend. And somehow, whenever I see him, I fall even more undeniably in love with him. I feel like in the past few weeks that I've been in the hospital we've grown closer and closer. Almost inseparably close. He has been with me throughout my pneumonia treatment and my time in the hospital, not to mention my time grieving over my father last month. I could never repay him enough for that; for always standing by my side.
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing from my purse. I ignore it until Josh and I reach the car, where I sit down and take my phone out of my purse. Without letting go of Josh's hand, I see that it's Amanda calling and answer the call. "Hey. What's going on?" I say causally. "Jen! Oh my god! It's so nice to hear your voice again!" I chuckle. "Nice to hear you, too." I say, sarcasm in my voice. "I, umm, forgot to remind you... You have press for Joy in New York in two days. The premiere is soon, too." She says nervously. I can hear anxiety gritting at her tone. I almost drop my phone. "What? I had no idea! Oh my god, Amanda! How am I going to get back in time?" I ask, my eyes wide. Josh is looking at me with concern in his expression, so I mouth the words press in New York to him. He raises his eyebrows and nods. A small smile plays on his face, almost a secretive one. He hides it well, but I can still tell its there. Meanwhile, Amanda continues to talk on the other line of the phone. "I, umm, think we may have to come get you and Josh... Unless you can drive really, really fast." She says. I laugh. "I think that second option will work great." I say cheekily. "Okay, Jen. I'll see you guys soon." She says. I can hear the smile in her voice. "See you soon, Manda." I say, and then hang up the phone. I can almost see her eyeroll; she hates it when I call her that. But, knowing Amanda, that eyeroll would soon turn into laughter. She reminds me so much of myself sometimes that it scares me, but we're also different in a lot of ways too. She's like the sister I never had.
I quickly explain the situation to Josh and he nods as I do. I tell him to drive as fast as he possibly can, and I'm returned with a giddy smile from him. I laugh and elbow him, and then he starts to drive. I swear I almost die; when you tell Josh to drive fast, he drives fast. If the windows were down, I think I would blow out them. The car says we're going eighty miles per hour, which is enough to almost give me a heart attack. Instead, I find myself laughing. There's something exhilarating about driving alone on empty roads so fast. It's almost like a roller coaster.
After about five hours of driving, we finally make it back to Los Angeles. I'm glad to be back, but I'm dreading the paparazzi and publicity.
The car pulls to a stop in front of my gated neighborhood. "Doofus?" I begin, looking over at him. "Weirdo?" He addresses, returning my gaze. I smile. "When will I see you again?" I ask, a concerned frown spreading across my face, replacing the smile I had. He brings his hand to my face and gently brushes the hair out of my eyes. "Probably back in Kentucky for Christmas." He says, sounding sad. "You're staying here? While I'm in New York, I mean." I say, trying to hide my disappointment. He nods. "I wish I could come with you, Jen, but I have to finish some business here. I'm wrapping a movie soon." He says, sighing. He trains his eyes on his feet. "Ooh. What's it about?" I ask, curiosity flooding my brain. He laughs a bit. "It's a beautiful romantic story about two best friends who fall hopelessly in love. The female, though, must take a long and painstaking voyage to New York from California without her lover." He says, sounding very dramatic. "Those people sound awfully familiar." I say, pretending to be confused. Josh laughs. "Must be because I play the lead." He finishes, smiling. His eyes twinkle. "Who plays the female lead?" I ask, a small smile forming on my lips. He shifts his eyes to mine. "I guess we'll have to wait and see." He says. I somehow don't think he's been talking about a movie. I reach over and lightly kiss him on the cheek. He shifts his head so that his lips meet mine. I feel contempt in this moment, I feel complete. He slowly pulls away after a few seconds, reminding me of how much I am going to truly miss him while I'm gone. "Doofus, how the hell am I going to survive without you?" I ask, my voice quiet and soft. "I don't know. I couldn't survive without me either." He says, sarcasm filtrating his voice. I laugh and rest my head on his shoulder as the front gate to my community opens for us. Josh drives straight ahead three blocks and turns left, then passing by exactly six houses and parking in my driveway. He somehow miraculously remembers the way to my house, though I'm not surprised. I slowly take my head off of his shoulder and fish my house keys out of my purse. I open the car door and close it lightly, Josh turns off the car and then follows my actions. As soon as I get out, Amanda is standing in front of me. "Jennifer Shrader Lawrence!" She screeches, like my mother would. I laugh. "Yes, mom?" I say, playfully. She tackles me in a hug, which takes me by surprise. "Damn it, Jen. Why is it that every time you leave, something bad happens? I was worried sick about you. I heard about your pneumonia. Oh my god, I can't believe you're back. Thank god." She rambles into my shoulder. I laugh and pull away from our hug. She leads me and Josh into my house, where I see that a suitcase has been packed for me. Pippi barks happily and sprints toward us, so I kneel down to accept her affection. She licks all over my face, which I don't mind too much. I've missed her so much. I gather her in my arms and stand back up. Pippi, however, jumps free of my arms and scampers over to the kitchen, probably in search of food. For a dog, she's pretty agile. Amanda walks toward my kitchen, probably to feed her, leaving the room. I turn to Josh and sadly sigh. "This is the part where we say goodbye, huh?" I say, a sad smile on my lips. "Never goodbye. Only a see you soon." He says with a small smile. "I love you. And oh my god, I'll miss you more than words can describe. I don't know what I'll do without you." I say, heaving a heavy sigh. "I love you too, Jen. You have to text me every single day or I will personally come to New York and take away all of the pizza in the state." I laugh. "I can always count on you for pizza demolition, huh?" I say softly. He laughs. I wrap my arms around him and he does the same to me. I'm instantly relieved. The feeling of his arms around me makes me feel peaceful and calm. I hold onto him so tightly I'm probably suffocating him, but I will miss him so much. There's a small part of me that says it's only one week! You'll see him soon! But the parts of me that say I can't live without him cancel that out. I don't know how I'll survive without him, even if it is only a week. The concept is foreign to me.
I hear Amanda's footsteps and Pippi's paws against the floor coming toward us. Her collar jingles and I hear her contempt puppy panting that signifies that she's had food. Josh slowly pulls away from me. Once we stand next to each other and not together, I already feel emptiness forming. He completes me, I can't be without half of myself. He shifts his gaze and stares at me for a few moments. I find that my own love for him is reflected in his gaze toward me. I take his hand again and he squeezes mine comfortingly. I smile to myself. Amanda smirks at us and steps toward the door, calling attendants to get my luggage. At first, I'm surprised. I guess I shouldn't be so shocked to have attendants but I'm still not used to it, even after more than five years of having them with me. The attendants pick up my luggage and seamlessly carry it to the car, putting it in and closing the trunk. I make my way through my front door and to the car, Pippi trailing behind me. I glance up at Amanda. "She has to come." I say sternly, gesturing to Pippi. Amanda nods. I start to get in the back seat, but Amanda gestures to the front. That means leaving Josh alone in the back seat. I sigh. I let out an exasperated "fine" and get in the front seat. Josh gets in the seat behind mine. I buckle my seatbelt and soon we are driving down the roads of my neighborhood on our way to the airport. I stare aimlessly out the window, my head resting on my arm. Pippi sits in my lap, her tail tucked. I know she's scared, so I lightly stroke her fur with my free hand. The car is quiet, and the world seems to be, too. The sky has clouded up and it looks as if rain will fall soon. It almost mimics my emotions. I sigh and shift my gaze down to Pippi. She looks up at me with fearful eyes. "Aww, sweetie, it's okay." I whisper to her, quietly so nobody else hears. If they did, they'd probably think I'm a psycho. Pippi ducks her head and buries it in my hand. I smile softly, and then feel a hand on my shoulder. Josh. I elbow him from my seat, and then he reaches for my hand. I take his and instantly feel comforted. My phone buzzes from my pocket. I see that it's a text from Josh. He's texting me from right behind me. I smile. You gonna miss me? It reads. You bet, Doofus. I send it, and pause for a moment. I hear a notification sound coming from the back seat. You better meet me at the gate in Kentucky, Doom bus. I send. Damn it! I meant Doofus! I hear soft laughter from behind me and then the clicking noise of typing on an iPhone keyboard. A notification pops up on my phone. Of course, Wire do. Anything for you. I laugh and squeeze his hand. "Jen. We're here." Amanda says. My smile fades as I look up and see the airport around us, and worst of all; paparazzi line the sidewalk outside of the terminal. My stomach churns. How am I going to face them after what happened on Ellen? What will they think of me? Will they flat-out hate me?
I try to let my mind free of the worry as I step out of the car, Josh and Amanda following my actions. I slip on sunglasses and make my way through the paparazzi. "Jennifer! Jennifer! Over here!" One yells. "Jennifer, look to the left! Smile for me!" Another says insistently. I keep my eyes trained on the ground and don't respond to any of their comments. Josh takes my hand and holds it in his own. I'm comforted by his gesture, but I still feel extremely uncomfortable because of the paparazzi. They continue to shout our names and snap photos of us until we've made it into the airport terminal. The room is suddenly quiet in stark contrast to all of the noise outside. I take a deep breath and continue to walk through the terminal, toward the gate.
Soon enough, I'm about to board my flight. I guess it's really time to say goodbye to Josh now. I've been dreading this ever since Amanda told me I was going to New York. I don't want to have to say goodbye to my Doofus.
I find my eyes trained on the ground. Tears have formed in my eyes, but I blink them away. Strong, for him. "So this is the real goodbye then, huh?" I say, meeting his eyes. He smiles sadly. "It's only a week, Weirdo. It'll be okay." He says reassuringly. "Yeah, a week without my other half." I say. Tears can he heard in my voice. He pulls me into another embrace, which I accept gladly. He holds me tightly for a few long minutes. I bury my head in his shoulder, taking in his familiar scent of pine and salt water into my nose. Only one week without him. I can do this, right? No. I can't. I can't bear to be away from him at all, even if it is just a week. It's like walking while only using one side of your body; I'll end up falling.
After a few minutes, I reluctantly pull away. I lift my gaze to meet his. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Weirdo. I'll see you at home."
Amanda takes my arm and pulls me toward the boarding area, but I'm still staring back at Josh. He's staring at me, too. Even as I walk further and further away, our eye contact doesn't waiver once.
Soon enough, I'm on the plane. It takes off, and I watch the city of Los Angeles shrink to the size of a penny. And then it's nothing; just a city a thousand miles below. As the city shrinks, emptiness consumes me.
Seven more days.

authors note;
sorry updates are getting so infrequent 😁 i apologize. what do you guys think of this chapter? i would really appreciate feedback, and your comments make my day ❤️
also thank you for 500 votes! it means a lot to me💓
- zoe 🐮