If This Was A Movie - A Joshifer Fanfiction

Chapter 32

Four more days
Maybe I'm driving myself insane, but that's all I'm thinking about. Maybe even more than Christmas, which is only a week later. I'm usually thrilled for Christmas, but getting to see Josh again is even more exciting, as pathetic as it sounds. It's only been two days and I miss him horribly.
This is when the feeling sinks in, I don't wanna miss you like this. Come back... Be here.
Taylor Swift's words echo through the earbuds that I'm wearing. I'm in my hotel room in New York, looking out a large window at the city. Tonight is the Joy premiere, and I'm sure my stylists will be arriving any minute since it all takes about four hours. It drives me nuts, but I guess it's what they have to do to make me presentable. I'm not exactly sure what their definition is of that word; stylists generally like to take it over the top. I consider presentable wearing a hoodie and shorts... I guess there's a reason why they don't let me make the decisions.
As I listen to Taylor's relatable words, I watch the sun go down and see the twinkling city lights come to life. Josh would love this, if he were here. He'd probably make some sort of wise statement and I'd counter it with a joke. I sigh. Too much wishful thinking. He's across the country, he can't be here with me right now. It would be wonderful, though, to have him here now. To look out the grand window that faces the entirety of New York City. I could lean my head on his shoulder or take his hand loosely in mine and watch the sunset.
Jen! Stop it! I scold myself. I can't afford to think this way. God, I'm being so irrational. I probably shouldn't be daydreaming, but I can't help myself.
A knock on my hotel's door breaks me out of thought. "Come in." I yell across two rooms. I immediately hear loud talking and flirtatious laughter coming from the door. Probably my stylists. I take out my earbuds, wrap them around my phone, and then put my phone on the table next to the window. I get out of my seat and walk to the living room. It's not exactly a living room, since I'm in a hotel, but it's a fairly spacious room with furniture and a kitchenette in the corner. The door is on the left wall, and I see that my stylists have in fact come to prepare me for the premiere. "Jen! Hello dear! How are you?" I hear a stylist of mine say. Marina. She hasn't styled me since last year at the Serena premiere. I reach over and quickly embrace her. "Jennifer, your hair. Oh my god, your hair. And no makeup! My goodness. We have a lot of work to do." She says. Marina sometimes reminds me of Effie, from The Hunger Games. The series is sometimes strangely parallel to my life.
Marina rushes me to my makeshift dressing room in my bedroom and quickly brushes out my hair. She then gives me a styling cape and starts to trim it ever so slightly; probably just cutting off split ends. I close my eyes as she cuts my hair, only feeling a slight tickling sensation as the scissors slice my hair. My thoughts wander back to where they were inevitably going. Josh. For the past two days, a question has been eating me away; why did he stay in LA? He said he had to wrap a movie, but that movie plot sounded an awful lot like us and our story. Maybe he's staying to make up a few interviews for Mockingjay that we missed while my dad was in the hospital. Or maybe he's just staying for a break; a vacation of sorts. But Los Angeles wouldn't be the place to do that. An agriculture field in Arkansas would be an ideal place without paparazzi. I'm almost wistful thinking about it, but I realize that if he were gone it would only stir up more controversy. The press never knows when to stop, so I'm sure the world would know if he were on a break.
I hear footsteps and shuffling around me, but still don't open my eyes. "Jen?" I hear someone ask. Amanda. "Yeah?" I reply. "Try to relax for these next few days, okay? Enjoy having some time to yourself. A little birdy told me that your life is about to change." She says. I open my eyes and say the first thing that comes to mind. "What?!" I hate relaxing, especially in the middle of press season. Relaxing drives me insane, and it definitely isn't all that, well, relaxing. "Let me rephrase. Amanda, what on earth are you trying to tell me? I didn't subconsciously sign on to another franchise, did I?" I say, my eyes widening. She smiles. "No. Something much more important." She says and then walks away. I'm dumbfounded. What on earth is she talking about? Now that question will nag at me all night during the premiere. It almost confirms another sleepless night. I hear Amanda's footsteps echo on the polished marble floor as she walks away. I lean back and close my eyes again, waiting for Marina to return.
I spend at least another three hours pondering what Amanda told me as Marina dusts my face with makeup and does my hair. For some reason, her statement won't leave my mind. It rings in it as familiar... It almost doesn't sound like Amanda's words. God, I think I am going insane. I'm overthinking it.
"Jennifer? We're finished." I hear. I open my heavy eyelids to find the world slightly distorted. I guess that's what I get for closing my eyes for three hours. Once the grogginess clears, I see what is almost an unfamiliar face in the mirror. My face shows almost no sign of flaws; no pimples or stray hairs are in sight. My hair is straightened with a slight wave and it's simply brushed. My eyes are coated with all sorts of makeup, anywhere from foundation to shimmery eyeshadow. Makeup gives me a headache if I think about it too much, so I simply nod and graciously thank them for their time. Jillian, another one of my stylists, comes over and helps me pick out a dress. I choose a simple pale yellow dress made of silk and carefully put it on, hopefully not tearing the silk. Silk scares me a bit; I always feel like I'm going to rip it.
Once it's on, I slip on high heels and hastily put on a necklace and earrings. I hear someone knock at the door, which probably signifies that the driver is here to take me to the premiere. I guess it's already time. I look at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath. You can do this. It's just another premiere. Whatever you do, don't fall. I think to myself, looking myself in the eyes through the mirror. For some reason, silly little self talks of encouragement like this one help me before premieres.
"Jen! Come on, we're late!" I hear Amanda yell from the front of my hotel. I turn away from my mirror and grab the clutch bag I've been given and quickly stuff my my phone and a few other things into it. I take the long coat I've been provided with and put it on, then running toward the door as fast as I possibly can in heels. Amanda leads me to the elevator, which will take us down fifteen floors to the lobby. As soon as we step into the elevator, I feel my phone buzz from my clutch. I take it out and see that Josh has texted me. Hey Weirdo it simply reads. A smile spreads across my face. Hey Doofus. How are you? I send. A reply comes in a few seconds. I'm okay, loser. I wish you were here though. My heart melts at the last sentence. I sigh. I wish I was there, too. I send. But hey, four days. I miss you so much, though. It's hard even being away from you for four minutes let alone days. He replies. My smile widens. Aww, you're such a romantic. I send. I can almost see the slight blush on his face and hear the playful remark he'd reply with. He takes a few moments to reply. Hey, you remember that story I told you a few days ago about the movie I'm wrapping? I instantly remember the story; the tale of the lovers that he told me about in the car a few days ago. That guy was a romantic, too. I laugh. His wife in waiting was a great one as well. I smirk. Are you going to tell me who this 'wife in waiting' is? I send, raising an eyebrow.
I hear the elevator ding, signaling that we're at the lobby floor. I quickly put my phone back into my clutch and hear it buzz a few moments later. Instead of looking at the message, I grab my sunglasses and try to take a few seconds to prepare myself for the paparazzi just outside the door of the hotel. I follow Amanda out of the elevator and through the lobby. The room grows quiet as I pass through and I hear whispering and see people pointing at me. I try to ignore them as the sound of yelling paparazzi comes closer and closer. Soon, I'm lead out the front door of the hotel and to a car directly in front. Paparazzi yell at me, but I do my best to ignore them. All I currently care about is getting to the car so I can see the message that Josh sent me.
We reach the car in a few minutes and Amanda tells the driver to drive extremely fast, since we're twenty minutes late to the premiere. "How is it that we always have a way of being so late?" Amanda says, sighing. I laugh. "It's my special talent."
I then shift my gaze back down to my clutch and retrieve my phone. I quickly unlock it and read the message that Josh sent me. This wife in waiting is a beautiful princess named Jennifer. Every man in this kingdom wishes for her hand in marriage, but she is only in love with this one guy. This guy makes her happy and she loves him. He loves her, too. I personally think they'll live happily ever after. I read the message slowly and thoughtfully, and I find myself smiling like a lovestruck idiot by the end. I wish I could kiss you right now, dork. I type and send, still smiling. I always wish that, idiot. I start to laugh. This laugh matches my smile in the way that I sound like an idiot. It's a flirtatious laugh, one that I would usually roll my eyes at. I try to calm myself down and then glance over at Amanda, who's staring at me as if I have grown another head. "Jen? Are you okay?" She asks. I nod. I feel the car come to stop and see that we've arrived at the premiere. I quickly send a message to Josh. Joshy, I have to go. Joy premiere. I love you, and I miss you. He sends in a message in reply. Okay, I love you even more, Jen. And with that, I stuff my phone back in my clutch. I get out of the car and take off my sunglasses. An attendant opens the car door and soon, after thanking him, I'm on the red carpet. Paparazzi and press are everywhere. They yell my name and directions to look or smile in. I just do my best to smile at each one of their cameras. The cameras flash left and right in my face. I hope I'm not squinting in their photos.
The paparazzi this evening is almost unbearable. They seem to be extra loud and impatient, not to mention the hoards of swarming reporters everywhere. It's extra claustrophobic tonight, which doesn't serve me too well. I feel like I'm suffocating in it, but I try not to let on.
I see Bradley across the carpet and wave at him. He returns my wave with a smile and is soon standing next to me. "Hey, Jen! How are you?" He asks, leaning into an embrace. We hug for a few seconds before he pulls away. "Hey Cooper. I'm alright. Just tired and a bit homesick." I pause. I'm not exactly homesick; but I am in a way. Josh feels more like home then any other place I've been lately, except maybe my childhood house in Kentucky. As strange as it sounds, that's how I feel. Homesick. "What about you?" I finish, trying to keep from sounding awkward. This is the first time I've seen him in a few months. "Sorry to hear that. I'm fine; tired, too." He says, and then lowers his voice. "Hey, I heard about you and Josh. I'm glad to hear that you're happy, Jen." He says, looking me in the eyes. "Wait, how do you know? That we're dating, I mean." I stutter. He laughs. "Well, it's on all the trashy magazines and news networks... And you were also on Ellen, where you told the world that you guys were together." He says. I raise my eyebrows. "You watch my interviews? Damn. You must miss me a lot." I say, smirking. "What do you expect? I turn on the tv and see you on Ellen. Of course I'll watch you, Jen. That's what friends do, support each other." He says, sarcasm in his voice. I widen my eyes as if this is new news to me. "Oh my god, really? Support? What is this new word?" I say, rolling my eyes. Bradley laughs. Theres a long pause between us. "I mean it, though, when I say I'm glad you're happy. I can see it in the way you talk about him, I know you love him." He says. "I know, too. God, I miss him so much. I wish he were here." I say wistfully. Bradley laughs. "I'm probably not the right person to be talking to this about." He says. I nod just as a reporter comes up to interview me. "Jennifer? Hi. I'm Kat and I work with E! News. I'd like to interview you." I hear her say. I turn to face her and then nod. "So, you're working with David O. Russel, Robert De Niro and Bradley Cooper again on another film. How do you feel about that?" She asks, a bit to bubbly for my taste. "I love these guys. I mean, we're the dream team." I say, sarcasm in my voice. "In all seriousness though, they are all remarkable people. They bring out the best acting in me." I say, trying to speak over the loudness of the press around me. "Can you tell us about one scene that was specifically hard to shoot?" She says, now lacking emotion. "Well, when I filmed the divorce scene with Edgar Ramirez I was crying and my dog, Pippi, kept running onto set and trying to comfort me. She was like 'mom?'" I say, laughing at the memory. The interviewer smiles. "And finally, how is your relationship with Josh Hutcherson doing? We have obviously all seen you guys together and know that you confirmed it, but we really want details." She says, a bit pushy. I don't want to give her details. I start to smile like an idiot though because I think of the text message he sent me before the premiere. I try to hide my smile, but that just brings a blush onto my face, further making me look like an idiot. "It's honestly been amazing. I love every second of being with him, and being away from him is torturous. It's so hard being here in New York while he's in Los Angeles, but we're making it work well. Regardless... I miss him more then I've missed anything before in my life. I wish he were here with me tonight." I say sincerely. I make no effort to hide the affection in my voice as I talk about him. "Aww, well you two are Hollywood's favorite power couple! Joshifer, am I right?" Kat says. I'm surprised by her sudden enthusiasm. And then I laugh at our name. "Joshifer. Not bad." I say, laughter still in my voice. The laughter suddenly fades from my face as I feel sadness tugging at me. It's hard to ignore, but I try my best. Joshifer. If only Josh were here, he'd laugh at that.
The interviewer nods enthusiastically and thanks me for my time. She then moves in Bradley's direction, presumably to interview him.

The rest of the premiere goes by in a blur, and I'm soon getting back into the limo that brought me here. I've decided not to go to the after party, since I don't really feel up for it. I feel heavy and dragged down by the pain of missing Josh. It tugs at me every time I smile and quickly erases any sign of happiness off of my face. It's pathetic, since it's only been three days since I've seen him, but I miss him so much. It's the worst thing in the world, when all you want to do is hug someone or even just talk to them but they're thousands of miles away from you. All I want to do is hear the sound of his voice or his laughter or feel his arms around me again, but I have four more days.
It's soon that I'm arriving back at my hotel, greeted by paparazzi everywhere like a colony of bees. "JENNIFER! Over here!" One yells. "Jennifer! Where's Josh?" Another taunts. I want to scream at them, but I can't. I try to ignore them and tears are forming in my eyes. I walk faster and faster toward the hotel door until I'm running. Running in heels isn't the smartest decision I've made, and I end up on the pavement. I can tell by the searing pain on my knee that I've probably scraped it, but I don't care. I get up and take my heels off, leaving me barefoot to run through the hotel. The press will go insane once they hear about this. Half of me says what the hell are you thinking? But the other half rules it out, saying run as fast as you can, get away from them. I keep running, leaving Amanda to chase after me. Tears have started to spill from my eyes, and there's no point in holding them back now. I run toward the elevator and get into it quickly, jamming the doors closed before Amanda can follow me in. The elevator is empty, thank god, allowing me to cry. Tears stream down my face, smearing my makeup. And then the sobs come, wracking my body. I fall to my knees, feeling a sharp pain in my left one. I bury my head in my hurting knees, staining my beautiful silken gown with tears. My knees may hurt, but my heart hurts more than any physical wound could ever.
I hear the ding of the elevator and find myself back on the floor of my hotel room. Tears steaming down my face, I run to find room 306, my room, and quickly unlock it, slamming and locking the door behind me. I throw my heels down on the floor and run to my bedroom. I flop onto my bed, still holding my clutch. Sobs wrack my body. Only one person comes to mind right now. One person that I desperately need. I shakily open my bag and take out my phone, dialing him. He answers on the first ring. "Jen! I saw those photos of you, oh my god! I was so scared! Are you okay?" I hear Josh's worried voice on the other end of the line. A small smile escapes my sad face as I hear his concern. And then I realize what he's asking, and the tears come back. "No." I say, trying to keep from sobbing. "I miss you so fucking much, Josh. It's the hardest thing in the world to be away from you." I say. A sob does escape my mouth this time. "Jen... I..." His voice is soft, but he trails off. "I miss you, too. Damn it, I wish I were there to hold you until you fall asleep and keep you company and make you smile and laugh and to hear your voice again in the same room as mine. But I can't be. I have to be here, wrapping a movie. God, you don't understand how hard it is to stay away from you, Jen. Even while we were filming, the very first day I... I liked you. I sound like a middle schooler with a crush on the popular person, but it's true. I tried to hide it for so long, and, umm, well, it didn't work too well. That's good, though, because I'm here with you now. Maybe I'm not there in person with you, but I still love you and really fucking wish I was there." He says, pausing. "You're my best friend, Jen. I don't know what I'd do without you. It was hell being away from you for so long when press ended and we weren't filming for another month. God, how'd I survive it?" He says. His voice is soft and sincere. "I don't know." I say, quietly. "Look at us now. It's only been three days." He says. I can hear the smile in his voice. I laugh a little bit. Tears can still be heard in my voice, but I sound happy for a change. There's a small, pause between us. I feel a wave of exhaustion come over me. "Joshy, I'm going to go to sleep. I love you, and I'll see you in four days." I say, trying not let my tears be heard in my voice. "Goodnight. I love you, and... I'll stay with you." He says, affection in his voice. I smile faintly and fall back into my pillow, sleep overtaking me.

authors note;
hi guys! a lot has happened in the last few days, sorry for not updating in forever. in the past few days i've kind of found myself and i know now what i want to do as a career. sorry this chapter sucks but i'd really appreciate feedback 💓 i love you guys
- zoe 🐮