If This Was A Movie - A Joshifer Fanfiction

Chapter 36

My eyes flutter open. A childish part of me immediately screams it's Christmas! and immediately wants to excitedly run to my Christmas tree and see the presents. That's the part of me that I'd usually stick with, but my eyes adjust from sleep and I find Josh looking down at me. He caresses my face. "Merry Christmas, Weirdo." He whispers softly. I smile up at him. "Merry Christmas to you, too, Doofus." I say. There's a small pause between us as I gaze up at him. "Do you want to get up?" He asks, concerned. "No. I want to stay here with you." I tell him, a small smile playing on my lips. He lightly kisses me on the forehead. "Okay." He agrees.
And so we sit there together in the silence of the room. The frosty sunlight reflects through the windows and casts beams of sunlight throughout the room. As I glance over at the window, I notice something. I sit up immediately and run over to the window. Flakes of fresh snow fall from the sky, blanketing the ground and my windowsill. "Joshy! It's snowing!" I yell excitedly. He laughs. A huge grin is plastered on my face and I start to run around like an insane person. "It's snowing! It's snowing!" I yell, most likely waking up the entire house. I finally give in to the childlike part of me. I run out the door of my room through the hallway, dining room, and kitchen until I reach the living room. The Christmas tree is elegant and lit up, full of ornaments. Under the tree is plentiful with presents addressed to an assortment of different people. Me. Josh. My mother. Ben. Blaine. Amanda. Pippi even has one. As if on cue, Pippi bursts through the house and meets me at the Christmas tree, excitedly barking. I try to shush her, but it doesn't work well. I end up laughing as Josh comes to join me by the tree. I make my way over to the couch, Pippi still barking, and Josh follows my lead. He sits down next to me. As if by clockwork, my entire family has joined us in the living room in a matter of fifteen minutes; a rare occurrence. Amanda sits down to my right; Josh on my left. Ben, Blaine, Bear, Theo and my mother take the other couch, though Bear is running around. Theo sits happily on Blaine's lap. Josh and I's hands are together and Amanda looks on in amusement. As if something huge is about to happen. I return her quizzical look with a glare, which she laughs at.
My mom gets up and heads to the kitchen, probably to make breakfast. I consider going to help her, but then I remember the snow. I sit up instantly and run back to my room, frantically throwing boots and a long coat on. I grab gloves and a hat, too. "Jen, what the hell--" I hear Josh call after me, but I can tell he's smiling. I run back through the living room and burst out the door, engulfed in newfound snowfall. The snow is about a foot deep, which means that it must've started snowing late last night when everyone was asleep.
I reach down and gather a fistful of snow, shaping it into a snowball. The door creaks open behind me, and I soon find Josh standing next to me in snow gear. I run away from him and then, once I'm a few feet away, throw the snowball at him. "How dare you!" He shouts, playfully. I stick my tongue out and crinkle my nose and then go to gather another snowball. Josh beats me to it though, and he throws a snowball aimed in my direction. Unfortunate for me, it lands in the very center of my stomach which nearly knocks me over. "Damn it, you're too good at this." I say, sighing. He smiles, pitching another snowball at me. This time, I move fast enough and dodge it with my arm, sending it back in his direction. It falls just short of hitting him, though, and dissipates back into the snow. I throw the snowball that I was making at him. He's turned around, so it hits him right in the back. Josh was prepared for a comeback, however, and hurls yet another snowball toward me. I jump away, but it still follows my path and hits my ankle. I fake pout. "Merry Christmas to you too." I say, trying to sound angry. Josh laughs. I see that he has a huge snowball in his hand, so I get an idea. I make my way closer and closer to him until we're only a few inches apart. I put my arm around him, to try and trick him. He falls for it and leans in to kiss me, but as he does I take the snowball in his hands and move away, sprinting across the yard. "You little shit!" He yells, trying to chase me. I make it twenty feet from him, but that's when I slip on ice. "Damn it." I mutter. "It's always me that's falling." I sigh and try to get up. My attempt just makes things worse, and I fall down again. Josh laughs and throws another snowball at me. My boots don't have a strong enough grip on the ice, so I just sit there on the ground helplessly. "Joshy, help!" I yell, trying to sound urgent. He immediately drops his snowball and runs toward me, trudging the snow. "Jen! Jen, are you okay?" He yells frantically. I smile, trying to conceal laughter. He finally reaches my location and sighs. "Damn it, I thought you were actually hurt." He says in defeat. Josh leans down so he's at my level and extends his hand to help me up. I take his hand and he slowly drags me away from the ice. I'm able to stand back up again once we reach the snow. I don't let go of his hand, though. "Thanks, dork. Sorry for freaking you out." I say. He shakes his head. "You scared the shit out of me, Weirdo." He agrees. I playfully punch him in the arm. "Perks of being an actress, right? Fun pranks and people actually believe you." I say, lopsidedly grinning. "Damn it, you're so adorable." I kiss him on the cheek, reluctantly pulling away after I linger there for a few seconds. "I think you're talking about yourself, Doofus." I say. I lean in to kiss him. "Lovebirds, come to breakfast." I hear someone call from the front door. I shift my gaze toward the doorway and find Ben standing there, smirking at us. I roll my eyes. "We'll come soon." I say. He raises an eyebrow. "Are you ignoring warm waffles?" I instantly start to run toward the front door. As soon as I get inside, I throw my snow boots, coat, hat, and gloves on the ground. My freezing self is greeted by a warm fire glowing in the hearth. Josh soon joins me, but by the time he gets there I'm sprinting to the dining room to get a waffle. Everyone else besides me and Josh is seated at the table, eating waffles. I sit down and am given a plate full of warm waffles. I douse them in syrup and eat them possibly faster than the blink of an eye. Josh sits down next to me and eyes my empty plate suspiciously. "Are you gathering those for later? Like a squirrel does for hibernation?" He asks, looking at me quizzically. I laugh. "Just eat your waffles, idiot." I say, elbowing him. And so he does, eating them nearly as fast as I did. I raise my eyebrows at his empty plate, just as he did to mine. I mock his voice and repeat his words to me. He laughs. "Yeah, sure. I'm secretly a squirrel." I pretend to be shocked. "Oh my god, really?! I always knew it though. The way you stare longingly at trees, the way you're scared of humans... It all adds up." I say, widening my eyes in fear. Josh laughs. His laugh is genuine; it's beautiful. It lights up the entire room. It's like when the sun finally comes out after a long rainy day. It fills me with warmth and happiness. I notice that I'm staring at him and that he's gone quiet. He stares back at me, affection shown in his eyes.
"Ready for presents?" My mother asks everyone after we've finished our food. Josh and I haven't broken our eye contact once. "Oh god, mom... I don't know..." Blaine says, sounding sarcastically concerned. "Yes, grandma! Yes!" Bear exclaims, jumping in his seat. He pronounces grandma like gram ma. My gaze shifts to him. I smile at his mispronunciation as he meets my eyes from across the table. "Jenny is too!" He yells. I laugh. "Of course I am!" I say, giving in to Bear's excitement. I find that Theo is smiling, too. I reach across the table and playfully poke him in the nose, making him laugh. His childish, carefree laugh instantly makes me happier. Love swells in my gaze as I look at him. He looks back at me as if I'm the greatest thing he's ever seen, which makes me smile even wider. I finally break my gaze with him and take Josh's hand under the table. I move my thumb slightly in his hand, invisibly drawing in the shape of a heart. He smiles a little bit, but not so much that everyone else at the would notice. He traces a heart in my hand as well, which makes me smile like an idiot in front of the entire table. I've never been good at concealing emotions. Blaine's staring at me as if I have two heads. Ben, Amanda and my mother all haven't noticed, along with the kids. My expression immediately goes slack as Ben takes notice of the smile. I duck my head and stare at the hem of the table cloth, running my free hand's finger along the edge. "To presents!" Blaine shouts. "Presents!" Bear exclaims. I laugh and get out of my chair, not releasing Josh's hand. As we walk to the living room, I still hold his hand firmly in mine. I sit down on the couch the same way I was before I ran out into the snow. Josh is on left, Amanda on my right. My mom explains that presents will be opened clockwise from where she is, but I doubt it'll end up that way. Presents will probably just be passed around and opened at random. In some ways, I'm kind of scared of what I might get. My family is... Borderline crazy when it comes to gifts. Last year, I think it was, my father bought ties for the guys that all had flasks connected to the back... Yeah, that was a bit disturbing. But I mostly just laughed at it last year.
"Amanda, you first." My mother says, gesturing to the tree. I know that Amanda doesn't care much about presents, she just likes being with us and being included. Seeing as her father was abusive and her mother emotionally tattered, I would understand why she'd like a warm and welcoming setting to spend Christmas in. Besides, she's like a sister to me. I'm glad she decided to stay with us.
She goes to pick up her present, which I can see by the sloppily wrapped paper is from me. I cringe. I've never been too great at wrapping presents. "Sorry about the wrapping." I mutter. She smiles and waves it off with her hand. She opens the present to find a jewelry store box. A set of jewelry is inside; a diamond necklace with matching earrings. She looks up at me in shock. "Is-- are-- are these for me?" She asks, stumbling on her words. I smile and nod. "Careful, I might have to pick your jaw up from the ground." I say. She makes an attempt to smile and goes back to being shocked. Her reaction warms my heart and makes me happy; if she's happy with what I gave her, I'm happy. She unclasps the necklace and gently puts it around her neck. I smile. "It looks beautiful on you!" I say, excited. Her eyes are wide as she looks down at the necklace around her neck.
Amanda spends the next few minutes marveling over the necklace, until it's my mom's turn. She opens her present to find a blouse. It's a peach color with long sleeves and you can tell, even from far away, that it's finely made. I raise my eyebrows. I don't know who got it for her. My brothers wouldn't dare venture into the women's department even if the world was at stake. I didn't buy it. Bear and Theo definitely didn't buy it. So that leaves Amanda and Josh. I share a bewildered glance with Amanda, which leads me to believe that neither of us knew about it. I finally shift my gaze to Josh, who's sitting next to me. "Is this from you, Josh?" My mother asks him, shocked. He nods and smiles slightly. "Oh, you are so sweet. Thank you so much dear." She says, warmly smiling at him. I kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you for that, Joshy. You made her really happy." I whisper in his ear. I lean my head on his shoulder and see a small smile on his face.
It's a few hours before most people have opened their presents, and now it's me and Josh's turns. I start first. I'm handed a small package, about the size of another jewelry store box. I open the lid to find a necklace that reminds me of the endlessly beautiful beaches from the road trip that we took together. It's a cylinder of glass on a black cord. The necklace is simple but it seems to tell a story of its own; it's beautiful. It's not feminine nor masculine, and I love it. But I recognize it. I got the same one for Josh. I smile. "This is beautiful, Joshy, thank you." I say, sincerely. I squeeze his hand that's in mine. I gesture to the gift he should open next; the same necklace that I got him. I try not to smile too widely as I do. He opens it and laughs. "Jen, no way." He says, smiling. I laugh. "Great minds think alike, huh?" I say. He glances over at me, adoration filtrating his vision. He leans over and whispers in my ear. "I love you." The way he says the words this time is so genuine and pure. It's raw emotion that he's feeling. I can't even put words together to express how much I love him and am grateful for him loving me. "I love you, too, dork." I whisper back. He smiles. This time, it's him smiling like an idiot. And I can't help but smile with him.
After a while longer of opening presents, everyone is finally finished. Bear and Theo play with toy cars together. The toys are conveniently messily all over the floor, but nobody cares. Blaine attempts to play with them, but mostly just watches them. Ben watches them from the couch, which is respectable. Amanda and my mom talk together in hushed and excited voice tones, about who-knows-what. I hear bits and pieces of their conversation; "I'm so excited!" " I can't wait for--" "I know--". It's rather confusing listen in on, but I'm not really trying to. My head is leant against Josh's shoulder and is buried in the crook of his neck. I've been this way for awhile, my eyes closed. I feel safe here.
Before I know it, hours have passed and I'm in the same position as I was. Everyone but us has left the room; Blaine back home with Bear and Theo, Amanda and my mother in the kitchen with the doors closed. I finally unbury my head to find that everyone is gone. I wasn't paying attention as they left. I stand up to stretch, and Josh stands up too. "I have one more gift for you, Weirdo." He says, breaking the comfortable silence between us that lasted for hours. I raise my eyebrows. "What--" I don't get that far. I immediately stop my words as I try to process what's happening. Josh is down on one knee. He holds out a ring.
"Jennifer Shrader Lawrence. I don't know where I would be without you. Without your beautiful laugh that lights up the entire room. Without the sarcastic jokes and the ability to make me laugh. Without the comforting embraces and affection that you give me. Without the love you have so unconditionally given me.
I once said, at one of the premieres, that if this was a movie, everything would be perfect. But I also said that life isn't a movie, and that there isn't any cuts or wraps. You can't redo a part of life, you just have to trudge through it and eventually move on. I've found that there are things that can easily be got over and things that can't. Love is one thing that can't. True love. Nearly impossible to find and nearly impossible to keep. But somehow I found it. I found it in you."
"The love that I have for you is the strongest emotion that I have ever felt. I can never let go of it, even if I'm a thousand miles away. It is a love that somehow washes away any sign of other emotions; sadness, fear, anger... It cancels everything else out. All that is left in me, in the very deepest parts of who I am, is love for you. A fire that will not burn out."
"Jennifer Shrader Lawrence, will you marry me?"

authors note;
CLIFFHANGER 🌚
hOOLLLLYYY SHIT i was writing that and screaming okay ohtnfkdsjjdj please leave feedback in the comments ❤️ that would mean the world to me, i love you guys 💓
-zoe 🐮