One and Only

Chapter Twenty Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN-One and Only

Elena's P.O.V.

Anger. Guilt. Fear. Denial and shock all have a thin line between them...

"Elena, you can't stay in there forever!" Caroline shouted at me.

I didn't want to move, didn't want to face the reality of my situation...I didn't want to bury my best friend...

"I'm not leaving this room..I'm not leaving this house..He's not dead, Caroline...He can't be." I replied getting up off the bed and running my hands over the silky fabric on my black dress, gazing over to see his uniform, starch pressed black button up shirt still hanging in the closet where he had placed it..The room envelops me in the scent of Stefan...We had been planning to go out and celebrate our anniversary early. But, instead..Here I am...Getting ready to go to his funeral and face the actualization that I need to let him go...

Pain. Tears. Depression. Hallucinations...

My hands are shaking as I look over the crowd of his loved ones the bile in my stomach is rising when I look over to see Tyler and Caroline cradling the twins, Sam and Olivia.. Stefan's casket is draped with a flag, flowers that the department had picked out cover the stage that I'm standing on and when I close my eyes, I can still hear his voice whispering my name in a sweet tone..."Elena..."

I clear my throat, gently wipe my tear stained face as I walk up to the microphone and begin to speak. My voice is shaking, a melancholy tone escaping my lips as I finally start to talk. Damon and Bonnie helping me stand when I open my mouth and say "Stefan was my best friend, he was the love of my life, he would have been a great father and a loving husband. But, his life was cut short in this tragic accident and I will never get to see the love of my life again, he'll never get to hold our children again and he will never get to hear them call him...Dad or say that they love him."

It's all part of grieving, of finding peace...of allowing yourself to let go and find ...Acceptance... Allowing yourself to settle for the card that life dealt you...even if it's a cruel one and it's masked by grief and a slight hint of love, like a comforting hand on your shoulder...

"I'm going to take care of you and the kids...You're my responsibility now, to look after all three of you..." Matt told me, gripping me tightly in his embrace as I cried into his shirt, whimpering into his ear and turning away from the funeral precession, carrying what was left of Stefan's 'body' in a black casket as I whispered against Matt's skin, sobbing even harder as I watched them lower the casket that held my beloved into the ground when I said.. "He's gone...He's really gone...How am I going to be without him?"

Out of the blue, I quickly watch as Matt's figure fades, everything around me disappears and I'm left standing in the dark, my body is shaky when I gasp for air, I feel like I'm being strangled by my emotions and my dream like state..Yet, somehow through it all..I hear his soft voice call out to me. "Elena...Elena...It's okay, Hey...You can wake up now." I hear him say, his green eyes gazing at me when my eyes stare widely at him, locking onto his face as my hand out stretches towards him. Begging him not to go and, watching his blurry figure disappear.

My eyes shoot up when I see him, hovering over me. Stefan's green eyes are filled with concern when he looks at me. He stays silent as I push myself up and lean against the head board of our bed, looking around me as if I'm trying to tell the difference between reality and my dream that I had...my memories that follow me around like a looming black cloud...

"It's okay...Elena, look at me." Stefan commands, leaning forward and placing his cool hands on each side of my cheeks.

"You're okay...Okay...You're okay...We're all okay. We're at the safe house. It's late, a little past 9. Lexi left a while ago. But, I wanted you to sleep..You fainted when you heard about-" He starts to remind me, feeling my whole body stiffen at the name that he's about to mention.