Broken and Lost

Chapter 8: Dean's Apartment

"Dean!" I yelled pounding on the door to her apartment, "GOD DAMMIT DEAN OPEN THE DOOR ITS COLD IN THE HALLWAY" I heard a laugh, a bunch of stuff crashing to the floor follows by Dean screaming out an array of curses. I laughed and the lock to the door turned and she opened the door. Her dark hair was pulled into a messy bun and she stood in a tank top, grunge music played loudly in the apartment and she was covered in paint.

"What chu want" she asked, opening the door and letting me in. I walked in, closing the door behind me and looking around her apartment. Her black cat ran up to me, running through my legs and meowing.

"Hey, Salem" I smiled, setting down some books on her black kitchen table. "Your books came in" I took off my jacket and sat down at her table, watching Dean in her living room, full of various sized canvases as she painted. Her apartment was nice for someone like her, she had good taste.

"Thanks for bringing them" she breathed, scratching her head and staring at her painting, this one was dark and bloody. I wondered what went through deans head, but i learned not to ask. I looked at her tattoos, her tank top low in the arms so I could see the ones in her ribs, all of which she drew herself. Her cat went and sat next to her on a stool, like he always did.

"Uh, Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Why'd you send that Tayler girl to me? She told me-"

"You know why" she cut me off. Splashing The canvas with red.

"Stop setting me up with people" I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Stop being annoying and rejecting all of them, Tayler's a nice girl, you'll get along with her" I opened my mouth to speak but I didn't, maybe she was right, maybe I should get to know them. "You heard from shit face recently?" She asked, not turning away from her work.

"Yeah he called yesterday" and she dropped her paintbrush. Turning to face me with an angry look.

"Tell me you didn't answer like a little bitch"

"Dean!" I growled, and got myself a cup of water from the fridge. "What was I supposed to do? If I didn't answer he would've showed up!"

"So you don't answer! Or you call me!" She sat at the table with me now, leaning in to look at me. "He made you feel worthless, Kate, he CHEATED on you for CHRISTS sake! He even came after me when you were dating!"

"I know-"

"No you clearly don't. There's nothing left for you, I don't know why you haven't blocked his number." She shook her head, making herself a coffee.

"Jake... He wasn't always that bad" I tried to defend him. But Dean was right, I knew she was right, but you know when you fall in love and they hurt you but you still love them even though they're toxic for you? That was Jake.

"Yes he was!" She yelled, holding out her hands to reason with me "I wasn't gonna say shit to you because you're overly sensitive but he came into the store and assaulted me yesterday" I froze. He... Went to her? But he was telling me how he missed me and loved me and couldn't even think about any one else. "So whatever the fuck he's telling you to feel sorry for him, he's being a manipulative piece of shit and you have to let him go"

"I can't" I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"No you just don't want to." She was cold, but she always was. I began to cry and Deans hard wall fell, she kneeled before me, rubbing my shoulders gently "hey... Hey, Kate you know I'm right. Just listen to me for once, start talking to Tayler. I have good judgement you know that, just give it a shot, get out there, you're so much better than him" I stood up, wiping my eyes and putting my stuff on. "Kate-"

"I'm fine." I grumbled, grabbing my stuff and walking out the door. "I'll call you later okay?" Dean frowned but nodded, hugging me before I headed out. we lived in the same building, I was just a floor down, and she was really the only person I hung out with. I walked back into my apartment. The colour scheme was much lighter than deans, full of bright, pale colours while Dean's was all dark.

I thought about Tayler, maybe Dean was right.. Maybe I should get to know someone, maybe it'll be good for me to get out there. But I was so scared, so afraid to get to know someone new all over again. To open up and let myself be vulnerable to someone again. But there was something so intriguing about Tayler, maybe she understood me like Dean did.. But there was something she didn't let show. Something hidden, and as much as I wanted to stay away. I wanted to know.