Lawfully Yours, Sarah

Fourteen: Graceful

{Adil's POV}

Sarah was trembling in my arms. I watched her as tears flowed down her pale cheeks. I wanted to wipe them for her, but one of my hands was on the bed, helping me control my weight, while the other was underneath her, wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"Shh, baby, it was all a nightmare," I said, looking at her, thoroughly concerned. "Everything will get easier, alright?"

She trembled harder and let a painful sob escape her seductive lips. I could tell she wanted to say something, but she was too shaken. Seeing her like this  pained me a bit. 

Was it all my fault? 

Something in me kept blaming myself, but I dared not to voice them. Instead, I made a silent promise to myself that I'd give her enough time. Maybe she actually needed time to embrace herself as a married girl. Maybe she didn't actually hate to kiss me, maybe she was just too scared...and now I just pulled her out of a nightmare. Was I the cause of the nightmare?

Her trembling hands made it's way around my torso and pulled me closer, as if she was afraid I'd let her go. I leaned down a bit, until almost all that was in between us was a couple centimetre space and radiating heat. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, soflty. I looked into her eyes, and she lowered her gaze in guilt, shaking head. She kept sobbing.

I nodded understandingly and pressed my lips against her forehead. I didn't like to see her sobbing, even though she was still beautiful. I wanted to see that smile, the one she wore when we had our last kiss, but when I saw her, I knew that her dream was so terrible that smiling was the last thing she could think of.

Fuck nightmares.

"It was just a nightmare," I reminded her.

I wanted to keep speaking so as to not allow other terrible thoughts haunt her head, but there was me, a person with no much words. 

Allah, what was I even good in?

I hated every bit of myself. I was terrible at almost everything, but I always tried my best  to wear a convinced expression, to fool others, believing that one day it might be learnt enough to fool myself too.

I shook myself from thoughts about me and gave my full attention to Sarah. I was caught off guard when she shook her head. For a second, I thought she read my mind and she was disagreeing with the fact that I was terrible but then realization hit me when she spoke: "It felt so real," she sobbed, and pressed her face against my chest.

I rubbed her back smoothly. "Shhh," I whispered, not allowing her to think about her nightmare more. 

I watched her with love and concern until her eyelids got heavy and she fell asleep. Even though her face was tear-streaked and extremely pale, she was still beautiful and graceful in my arms. She looked like a fallen angel. I kissed her forehead once again, as one of my own tears escaped my eyes. I totally didn't deserve her. She just didn't  know who I was.

Here was a thing about me: I was Insomniac. Which was a terrible thing. But the good part was, as I couldn't sleep, praying subah on time wasn't much of an issue. 

I didn't know of any mosques close by so I prayed Fajr at the hotel itself, as soon as the azan was recited at four a.m. Then without making a noise, I opened my suitcase and took a packet of coffee powder. I was a Coffee addict and it was the only breakfast I knew to prepare, and I immensely enjoyed being independent for small meals like this.

I made two cups of coffee, one for me and one for Sarah. Then I gently shook her shoulders until her eyelids fluttered open. "Time for Fajr," I said, and before the situation could get awkward, I quickly made space and sat on the edge of the bed, taking out my laptop. 

Her face was red when she exited the bathroom. I'm assuming she remembered last night, her nightmare and the way I tried to console her. Then she walked towards her suitcase, got another pair of dress and went back to the bathroom.

She's going to change already? I thought, frowning. I liked her in that pale blue tshirt, so the idea didn't make me very happy.

When she came back, she sat cautiously on the other edge of the bed. I told my salams, and informed her that her cup of coffee is ready.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm sorry if you were expecting me to awake you. I usually wake up at around four thirty."

"Really, no problem. I seriously don't care."

"You wake early. That's really awesome," she appreciated, with a gleam in her eyes. "To be honest, I'm not much of a morning person."

Waking up was a touchy subject to me because I never really woke up. I just--got up, that's all. So when she apreciated me, I felt like she was just poking holes to my shallow center. I didn't know what to say.

"Uh-huh," I said. 

"And your coffee is really delicious!" She said.

I fought back a smile. This part of Sarah- I admired it. The way she could be so cheerful after everything she went through last night. I was totally the opposite.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

I felt the heat of her gaze on my neck and I badly wanted to change the subject. I wasn't used to being flattered and though it felt amazing, it was a bit weird too.

That was when my eyes landed on the praying mat and my eyebrows scrunched up in suspection. It was still neat and folded like how I kept it. Did she forget her salah or did she do this on purpose? The whole point I awoke her was for her to perform her prayers on time.

"Sarah," I said, anger slightly visible in my voice. "You still didn't pray?"

"Er..." she stuttered, her face turning red. "You know, I...I'm..."

I raised my eyebrows. If she was trying to say something, I totally didn't get it at all. Plus, I wasn't planning on buying any lame excuses. "You?" I asked.

"I...can't pray," she said, looking down, flushing furiously. "As in...you know, I'm in my...err...didn't you learn it in health class in Year Nine?"

I raised my eyebrows. Amusement played in my eyes as I understood what she was trying to say. But I wanted to play along.

"Nope," I lied, fighting back a grin. "What do you mean?"

(1099 words)