The Aftermath Of You

Chapter Twenty Three

Toni called Granny Smith at 8.00 o'clock promptly so her grandmother wouldn't think she was lying in a puddle of blood somewhere after an exceptionally big night out. Toni hadn't been out properly on a Friday or Saturday night for so long she'd forgotten what it was like, but the tradition still held.

"I HEAR YOU'RE THINKING OF GOING ON A DATE WITH A BIKIE," Granny Smith hollered.

Toni held the phone a little further from her ear, contemplating how many people Lulu hadn't told about her possible date with Wayne Kerr. "Lulu told you?" Didn't all bikers have long grey beards which tickled their nether regions and an over inflated sense of sexual prowess?

"NO, GRANDAD DID."

"Oh. And what did he say about him?"

There was silence as her grandmother cleared her throat awkwardly. "HE SAYS HE'S PLEASED YOU'RE TRYING TO GET OVER JACK." She paused briefly. "SO YOU'RE WRITING A JOURNAL!"

"Yes, a book really, and it's going to be a best seller."

"GRANDDAD SAYS NO PROPER HEROINES GET DRUNK ON THE FIRST PAGES. AND HE DOESN'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE WRITING A ROMANCE WHEN THE MAIN CHARACTERS AREN'T TOGETHER AT THE END OF THE STORY."

"That shows how much he knows about romances," Toni said grumpily. "Look at Romeo and Juliet!"

"AH BUT," Grandma replied, "THEY ARE TOGETHER IN DEATH. AND THAT'S A PLAY."

"I'd better get going; I've got a novel to finish," Toni said.

"OH YES," Granny Smith said doubtfully. "GRANDDAD SAYS YOU ARE ABOUT TO HAVE VISITORS ..."

There was a loud rap on the door. Holding the portable phone Toni walked towards the front door. "For goodness sake! Why can't you just let yourself in like other people?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M NOT AT YOUR DOOR. YOU CALLED ME ON MY LAND LINE."

"Great, it's probably the religious salesmen. Thinking I'm in dire need of God and stuff."

"THERE ARE SOME GOOD RELIGIONS OUT THERE!"

"I'm not coming to Church with you, Granny Smith." While her Grandma's friends weren't as direct as her mother's, Toni still has no desire to be interrogated by them all. Not when she still feeling so vulnerable. "Anyway, I'll bring my book to show you soon. It's going to be a roaring success."

"YOU PROBABLY COULD BE RIGHT." That was her polite way of saying 'no, you're not right at all.'

Toni ruffled up her orange hairdo and swung the door open vigorously with a sexy welcoming smile. Just because she wasn't interested in the two Ms (monologue and monotone) it didn't mean she wasn't going to have a good gawp at their washboard abs.

Instead, she came face to face with seven strangers, all different shapes and sizes, each holding a small notebook and a pencil.

"Hello, we're here for the tour."

"Oh, right. Umm, just wait a moment I've got to get my shoes."

"Right," the women replied as her associates bent their heads and began scratching comments into notebooks in wild abandon.

What on earth was she going to do with them all? There was nothing for it but to follow her mother's suggestions – and that was something she never liked to do.

Ten minutes later, Toni hustled the boisterous women up the path toward the large jail that loomed above them.

"Ohhh, this gives me goose bumps," Spooky One whispered. "I can almost sense the spirits reaching out to me."