The Aftermath Of You

Chapter Thirty Seven

I found a few things for the baby," Jack called through the front door. "You're going to love this!"

I highly doubted that I would, but I smiled anyway.

"You know how you wanted a brand new camera to record all of those precious baby moments?" He sounded like he was parroting a commercial He began to grin wildly. "I went out and I bought you something..."

My heart thudded to a stop. Did he just say brand new? Did he say he bought me something? I began to feel light headed, like someone had unzipped my head from my shoulders and it was floating upwards towards the clouds.

"TA DAH!" He pulled a long black cube out of a paper bag.

"What's that?" I asked in confusion.

"A camera – an instamatic. Remember those? I picked it up from a garage sale for four bucks! It even has a panoramic setting. Here are a few samples I took." He pulled a wad of pictures from his man bag and tried to shove them in my face. "See... see..." It was a picture of Jack at his desk waving at the camera; behind him I could see his workmates going about work, some shooting him odd looks.

It was all I could do to stop myself screaming, 'You don't have to live with him! You think he's quirky and eccentric, but imagine sharing the same refrigerator with the man. He is demented.'

Snatching the photos from his hand, I tried for a thankful smile, but somewhere between the thought of it and the action it morphed into a bitter sneer. "Great, now we can take panoramic shots of the nursery!"

Toni parked Danny's car on the side of the road, and studied the pompous mannequins which stared down their plastic noses at her from the boutique's window. Jack had budgeting down to a fine art and had taught her the same, and that had never included buying clothes in shops like this one. Taking a deep breath, she marched inside as fast as her broken foot allowed.

"How can I help you?" the sales woman neighed. Dressed in black with long black hair, Toni could barely see the woman's eyes beneath the mascara coating her eyelashes.

"I need lots of clothes, for every occasion."

The woman beamed. "Oh, a new wardrobe."

"Not a wardrobe!" Toni said in horror. "I just want clothes."

The Panda looked confused.

"Size 12 preferably," Toni said. "Because I'm not going to be this size forever."

"You are unnaturally skinny," said Panda Lady doubtfully,

"I've been on a strict diet."

After buying a few 'essential items' which ended up being half the store, the woman charged Toni's credit card, and Toni nearly threw up on the spot.

Their heads were nearly touching over two empty Styrofoam coffee cups, so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't heard me enter the room. "Well, you are going to have to tell her some time, Jack!" Sophie was saying. "She has the right to know."

"I have the right to know what?" I asked, innocently enough, but it was as if I'd dropped a hand grenade.

Sophie jumped to her feet in a second. "Toni, I bought you a coffee, but Jack was the only one here."

I applaud women who are so utterly confident in their husbands that they could leave him with Angelina Jolie and not feel in the least bit threatened. But they don't know how it feels to be skin and bone AND pregnant AND hormonal. I felt the hot surge of jealousy course through my veins. I tried to smile but my face warped like a crazed clown in a thriller movie.

"Oh, is that the time?" Sophie asked before remembering to check her watch. "I have to get home and make dinner." She scurried out quickly, leaving me to corner Jack.

"What was that little tete-a-tete about?"

"Nothing!" snapped Jack. "So I was talking to your friend; when did that become a crime?"

Immediately I wavered. "I'm sorry. I don't want to argue, I just wanted to know what you were talking about. That's all."

"Well, I don't want to talk about it."

So we didn't.

Toni pushed in through her front door with the few 'essential items' that the sales girl had forced onto her and then frog marched her out of the store with. She had a pair of shoes for dating, a pair for dancing, a pair for walking and a pair for running and one pair especially for lounging. She'd bought a cardigan for working and a cardigan for relaxing and a cardigan that would allow her to 'go to the dogs', along with at least five dresses. She'd lost count of everything else. Toni shook her head in disbelief ... since when did human beings need more than clean water and food to survive?

She had bags full of clothes in conservative shades like dark blues and blood reds (which was reasonably subtle in Toni's books as they didn't have any lurid Hawaiian design). She scooped a pretty purple blazer out of a bag and held it to her face breathing in the new smell. It was the first time in years she'd bought something that didn't smell of moth balls, or was ravaged by tie dye and she was more than a little excited. She thought briefly of how Athol would look at her when he saw her later on. She could see herself in her mind's eye, carefully groomed with a serene expression on her face. She was calm and in control. Her memory flashed back to Danny's face but she forced it out.

As Toni pushed the door closed she noticed a black Nissan Primera drive past with a wild eyed woman staring out at her, her small round mouth painted bright red, with her short brown hair sticking up on odd angles. Just seeing her made Toni shiver; the woman looked as mad as a meat axe. Locking the door firmly she caught sight of herself in a nearby mirror. "Goodbye lurid orange." She pulled a packet of hair dye from her bag. Ash blonde; at last she would not have to wear a pink hat in public anymore.