100 Ways to Murder a Twilight Book.

91-100

91. Give it to a gorilla to eat for a snack.

92. This one's a bit complicated.

So you need to first build a time machine.

Go back to the exact point when the Earth is getting formed but there is no life because its to hot, poisonous, etc.

Quickly throw the book somewhere.

Do not stay to watch it get incinerated or whatever.

Jump back into the time machine and g back to the present. Or the future since your in the past and the present in the past is the present, and the actually present from where you are is the future for you. 

Do this quickly or YOU WILL DIE.

When you reach back to the present-present and not the past-present or the future-present be happy that you survived and didn't waste anytime since technically it happened in the past and not the future. So the present when you left for the past and came back is the same exact second so technically no time passed.

THAT WAS LONG. ANYWAY......CONTINUE. If you got super confused then LOL.

93. Take a box of matches and light every single page with a different match until the book goes "up in flames"

94. Drown in a bathtub filled with acid. Watch it dissolve.

95. Keep jumping on it with filthy shoes, as if the book is a trampoline.

96. Go to the place where it is printed and change the setting so the machine prints out a totally different book. And you will save generations of people from this disease and twihards. Ugh.

97. Do some magic so that the ink which is used to print the books is invisible. 

98. Eat it. But add loads of ketchup since paper is quite disgusting. (Trust me, I've actually tried it.)

99. Take is sparking wire, put in tub of water and throw book in at the same time.

100. Take a drill machine and make 5 million oles through it.

SAH DAH DAH DONE!

ATLAST!

Hope you enjoyed my weirdness.

(PS. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES THIS)