Keeping The Pieces

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

(Music in external link!)

The shrill of the alarm wakes me up in the morning. I let out a loud groan from the pain shooting through the back of my head. I try to roll over on to my front but I'm stopped by something warm and soft. I look to my side and see Eva curled in a ball next to me.

I stare at her wondering why we're both on the floor and then the events of last night flash through my mind. I try to get up as the alarm starts to shrill louder making me feel like someone's slamming a hammer against my head. I push against the floor again but my stomach starts to feel queasy and the next thing I know I've thrown up at the side of me.

I kneel and hold my stomach as I carry on retching, trying to release the food that's not there. I squeeze my eyes shut as tears run down my face. The spasms carry on working their way through my stomach and just as I can't bare it anymore they stop. I stare at the vomit on the floor that is basically just acid since I didn't eat anything yesterday.

Eva blinks her eyes open and stares at me for a second. "Are you okay Luz?" her voice is soft but I see tears filling her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I try to sound reassuring but when I start retching again it throws my words out of the window. Eva jumps up turning the alarm off and starts to rub my back soothingly. I don't even realise she's crying until the spasms stop again.

I pull her into a tight hug trying to make her stop crying. If you have ever seen someone you love cry you'll understand the pain that's racking through my body when she carries on crying. I never understood how someone else's pain can effect you so much than your own but I suppose that's better for me because if my pain hurt as badly as this I don't think I would have survived this long.

"I-I thought you weren't going to wake up, you wouldn't wake up!" Eva sobs against my chest. My heart brakes just a little bit more when she says that. What would she have done without me? She wouldn't be able to handle it without me.

I start to get up trembling, I push against the bed frame for support but collapse to the floor. Eva rushes to my aid and grabs both my hands to drag me up. I stand up straight trying to ignore the pain. I gasp as I take my first step towards our stack of clothes on the floor. I push myself forward but I have to choke down the pain with most of my strength.

I realise if I don't block out the pain now I won't be able to go to school. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, I concentrate and centere myself. I let my mind block out the pain. I know that it's possible, I've done it before when the pain was just like this. I've read about it as well, the website I looked at said when a person has constant exposure to pain their brain is able to block it out almost naturally.

I feel the numbness starting to take over me, the pain starts to fade away into oblivion. I open my eyes slowly and sigh in content. I don't spare a thought about what I just did, the consequences of doing this is that when you block out the pain some of your emotions go along with it making you cold towards other.

I grab our clothes and ay them out, I look over at the clock and realise that we don't have time for a shower because of my little episode. I tell Eva that we can't have a shower and make her get dressed for school ignoring her protests about the pain I'm supposed to be in.

*****

When I walk us out to Claire's car I can see her studying me as I sit in the passenger seat next to her. She looks concerned but doesn't say anything and drives Eva to school. I walk Eva to the doors and then get back in the car with Claire.

Claire gives me a look when I sit down and my response is a blank face. Her eyes widen like she's just realised something. "They hurt you again didn't they?" She whispers.