Torn [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 51

"What are you expecting to see?", Grey asked nervously as I kept staring down at the monitor in front of me, desperately waiting for the results of his screenings, "We've done the same tests only a couple of days ago. To be honest, I don't think we're going to find anything now." She bit her lip, her gaze quickly wandering from me, back to the man behind the window pane.

But I couldn't. Couldn't look at him. No more. Because with every second I looked at him, it felt like I was experiencing it over and over again. His fist against my head. The fall. The pain. Oh, the pain. It was not just the head it was-...

I gulped as I realized how my eyes started to fill with tears. My baby. My little baby that has died that night. It hurt. Simply thinking about the life we could have had, the life Nathan and I would never be able to have. And it hurt, it always would.

All the blood a-and... All there was, was blood. And the look in Nathan's eyes, pure and sheer horror. I'd never forget that expression. It was forever going to haunt me in my dreams. This one day, that has changed everything. Inevitably.

"I'm afraid someone has made a mistake", I muttered almost inaudibly and more for myself but Grey somehow seemed to have heard it.

"A mistake?", she repeated with her brows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

I chuckled quietly, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I eventually looked up and watched him lay there behind the window. "It's just a guess but-... I don't know, I'm just hoping for the best."

She nodded slightly and it was easy to recognize there was still one more question left unanswered.

"Go ahead", I encouraged her, biting my lip, "Ask me your question."

"D-do you want him to be sick?"

Raising my head, our gaze instantly met. "I want myself not to be", was all I replied then before I focused on the monitor again that had suddenly started to reveal his results, both of us quickly sitting down in front of it.

"Please", I mumbled quietly, nervously shifting in my spot, "Please let it be there. Please."

And then I could see what I was hoping for, what I was wishing for. This simple white space that was going to change everything. And I could almost instantly feel how my legs got weaker and weaker, trembling just like my hands as I was still staring at the monitor, my eyes filling with tears.

"I-Is that what I think it is?", Grey asked hesitantly.

I bit my lip, nodding slightly as my lips started to form a small and weak smile, dropping off my shoulders. "Yes. Yes, it is", I replied, still not believing what my eyes had just seen.

"And what are we going to do now? A-Are you going to tell him?", she kept on asking all these questions I didn't knew the answers to by myself.

"First of all", I eventually spoke as I found my voice again, "You can bring him back to his room. I-I'll need a few minutes to-... I'll be there soon, Grey. You could already tell Dr. Stark and Dr. Hunt that I need to talk to them. I'll be there in a second, I just need a few minutes all by myself."

She nodded quickly before she got up and left. Watching her as she helped him into the wheelchair and carried him away, all this pressure I've been burdened with was suddenly gone in a heartbeat. Was this supposed to be it? Was it supposed to end this way?

Part of me still wasn't convinced about the outcome of this complete situation. A mistake, that's what it seemed to be. Just a mistake. But there was only one way to find out, one way to see what's true. And therefore, I had to get back in there, lay down and wait, endure the endlessly seeming process before I'd eventually know the truth. But it'd be worth it. As long as it meant I'd have a normal life, I was going endure everything. For me, for Elsa, for Nathan. In the end, it'd be worth it.