Torn [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 33

I coughed slightly as I regarded myself in the mirror.

I was wearing a black shift dress with heals, my hair done in a messy braid, laying over my shoulder while those anxious hazel eyes stared at me.

"You look beautiful", I heard Rose's voice from behind.

I turned around and looked at her, a smile on her face.

"I'm not quiet sure", I stuttered nervously, "It's been some time since I've been dating someone..."

She giggled quietly and reached out for my hands.

"Nathan would still love you even if you wore a trash bag, Kate", she tried to encourage me.

I nodded quickly although I was not really convinced at all.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and my hands started to shiver.

Great, I was having an anxiety attack!

Rose quickly ran through the hallway to open the door and let him in.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Wow", I heard his soft voice say and turned around to look right into his golden sparkled eyes, a big smile on his face.

And as soon as our eyes had met, all my sorrows had been blown away.

"You look absolutely stunning", he complimented on me.

I blushed immediately and shyly tucked a strand behind my ear, regarding him closely.

He was wearing a black suit with a white buttoned shirt and a black tie that fitted him perfectly.

"I can only give that compliment back to you", I countered and smiled at him, my heart pounding like mad.

And for a while, we simply stood there in the hallway, staring at each other with a smile on our lips.

"Look, what he got you", Rose said as she finally approached us, a bouquet of roses in her hands that made Nathan blush immediately.

Nervously, he scratched his neck.

"I- I deemed them appropriate for you", he explained quietly.

"They're perfect", I agreed and my words came out in a whisper.

"You better go now", Rose interrupted and looked at the clock.

Nathan nodded quickly and reached out for my hand which I gladly accepted, following him outside where his car was parking.

Politely, he opened the door for me and helped me enter before he quickly walked around the car to make himself comfortable on the other side.

"You should know", I said jokingly as he hit the accelerator, "I haven't done this for a while. Dates and all this stuff... I'm just over a very long relationship."

He giggled quietly and his eyes crinkled in this cute way I adored so much.

"No need to worry", he assured me then, "I haven't been dating for a while, either. This will be new for both of us."

Hesitantly, I reached out for his hand that was resting on the gearbox, before our fingers slowly intertwined and I finally found relief.

-

It was already dark outside when Nathan and I exited the restaurant in downtown.

He held my hands in his as we walked along the pathway, a cold breeze making me shiver instantly.

"Here", he said and gently laid his suit coat around my shoulder, softly stroking my back, "I don't want you to be cold."

"Thanks", I whispered and shyly looked up to him.

And for a while, we remained like this, silently walking along the pathway, side by side.

"I really enjoyed our evening together", I said after a few minutes.

"So did I", he agreed with me, a weak smile on his lips.

Then, I gently placed my hand on his chest and leaned my head against his shoulder before he gently kissed my forehead, making me feel safe and protected.

"Kate?", he asked hesitantly.

"Yes?", I replied and looked up to him, his brown eyes regarding me closely as he bit his bottom lip.

"Where do you see ourselves?", he wanted to know and it was obvious it was not easy for him to ask me this question, "Now at the end of the evening... How are we going to move on?"

I stopped in the dimmed light of one of the streetlights.

I wanted to answer him because I knew what I wanted to tell him.

I wanted to tell him that after all, I was still afraid of getting hurt again, yet, I had the feeling he'd never do to me what Danny had done. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and kiss him. I wanted to be loved by him because he was just perfect.

But I couldn't. Those words just didn't come out of my mouth and I really wanted to punch myself for torturing him like that.

"Okay, I'll simply assume you're nervous and fascinated by me", he joked to hide his insecurity, "But I know what I think about us. And if you don't mind, I'm going to tell you now..."

Then, he carefully held my face in his hands and kissed me. He kissed me like no one has ever kissed me before. There were so many feelings in this kiss; love, fear, relief...

Pulling my head towards his firmly, I buried my hands in his hair and kissed him right back.

"Nathan", I whispered in the desperate need for some oxygen as we paused eventually.

"Yes", he replied, trying to catch his breath.

"I think I've fallen in love with you", I finally admitted and couldn't help but smile.

He grinned self-contentedly before he kissed me again, this time more passionate until my back slowly hit the cold wall behind me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close, afraid he might leave me again, afraid everything was just a dream.

"Don't leave me tonight", I begged him, "Don't leave me alone."

"I won't", he promised quietly.

-

About midnight, we returned back home, quietly entering the house so we didn't wake anyone up.

I grabbed Nathan's hand, leading him upstairs into my room where I quickly searched for some old sweatpants and a shirt for him to sleep in.

"I'll be right back", I whispered and kissed him one more time before I went to the bathroom and put on my sleeping clothes.

When I came back, he was already laying in bed, a big smile on his lips as I crawled under the blanket.

Immediately, he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close as I felt his warm breath on my skin.

"This feels so good", he mumbled quietly and kissed my neck.

"Yeah, it does", I agreed and closed my eyes, enjoying our intimate togetherness.

"I will never hurt you, Kate", he added then, "I can't lose you again!"

"Shh", I whispered, knowing he was telling the truth, "Just promise me not to leave me tonight, Nathan."

"I won't", he assured me again, "I'll just hold you close."

"Okay."

"Okay."

And then, I finally closed my eyes and for the first time in a while, I was able to sleep without any nightmares.