My Name Is Jasper

No Sound But The Wind

Help me carry the fire

We will keep it alight together

Help me carry the fire

This road can't go forever

No Sound But The Wind – Tom Smith (182)

"I heard the NYPD Commissioner say that they will never forget 911... I hope not, it's your phone number" (183)

Its funny how universally known 911 is. Everyone knows that's the number to call in the States when you're in trouble. When I was a kid, the universal emergency number in Belgium was 100. Nowadays there's a bunch of numbers, depending on whether you need an ambulance, the police, the fire squad ... Maybe you can still call 100? I wouldn't know. Kind of scary. I also don't know what the Canadian number is. I assume it's 911. Let me check with Julie... Ah yes, it is 911. Good to know.

Another number you were able to call in Belgium was the Talking Clock. It was recently taken out of service. In a time long before the internet and smartphones, you could call that number to get the exact time. You would be greeted by a pre-recorded female voice telling you that at the 3rd beep it would be exactly X hours, Y minutes and Z seconds. Just like with the emergency services, I wouldn't know what the Talking Clock's number was. Maybe 1010.

As a teen my mom called the Clock, only to be greeted by a deep male voice. "Hello?" "Is this not the Talking Clock?" "No ma'am, this is the Federal Police?" "Oh, I'm sorry... Do you have the time by any chance?"

My phone makes the familiar beep of an incoming WhatsApp message. It's from my mom: "Hey just for your information: My father died, he was 89. Mum"

I didn't quite know how to react. The motherfucker left his wife and their 6 young children. In Belgium they say "no bad words about the dead", but I feel worse about bugs I've stepped on while walking than this piece of shit. My mom had told me stories from when she was a kid it happened more than once that angry husbands came to their house to 'have words' with the douchebag that slept with their wives. And then one day he just left. Leaving his wife to make ends meet for the entire family with her small paycheck.

At one point, this was roughly 10 years ago, one of my uncles (184) had gotten back in contact with him. As most of the family at that point was still involved one way or another with Korfball, I guess one Sunday my uncle and the old man thought it would be a good idea to crash the party. All the sudden he was there. I was playing my game at the moment, so luckily there was no interaction between us. Let me rephrase that: Luckily for him there was no interaction between us. When my game was over I saw my mother in tears. The brief encounter had only caused for drama, and the reopening of old, still festering wounds. He never tried to make contact again. Good.

One of my mirror rules (#9 that is), states that you should always respect your elders, even if they are wrong. I you are expecting me to give you a lengthy retelling how I learned this lesson after my parents wronged me, but didn't lose my respect, I'm afraid I will disappoint. Instead let me simply tell you that in the case of my mother, I won't judge if she disregards my rule totally.

I reply to the text. "Are you alright? I can't imagine what this means to you, if anything at all" I tell mom I'm here for her, even though I'm 6000 km away.

"It feels unreal to me too, even trivial. There is no sadness, only the anger for deserting us. So you don't have to worry about me, I won't let it bring me down. I don't care about him, I'm just proud of what I achieved in life without his support"

"I'm very proud of you too mom"

My mom is always here for me. The internet is full of quotes about the love of mothers – especially on Facebook walls of middle-aged women – like "The only person who will always love you unconditionally is your mother." I know this is (a) unfair to loving fathers worldwide and (b) unfortunately not always the case... but when it comes to mine, it is really true. In all fairness, Bram and I have kept her safe of any major drama (185). We never smoked, didn't impregnated childhood sweethearts, and stayed in school until we both had Master Degrees.