My Name Is Jasper

Lady In Black

"Oh lady lend your hand I cried, oh let me rest here at your side

Have faith and trust in me she said, and filled my heart with life

There is no strength in numbers, have no such misconception

But when you need me be assured I won't be far away"

Lady in Black – Ken Hensley (4)

"Who here can draw?" My hand goes up. I love to draw, always have. As a 10 year old kid I would annoy grown-ups around me by asking them to give me a challenge. Tell me something to draw. I want to show you how good I can draw. My eyes excited, my fingers gripping a pencil, and a blank sheet of paper. Tell me, I'm ready. A dragon? Knights charging the enemy? Maybe a pirate ship? "Okay Jasper, draw me a bicycle." Thanks Grandpa... I can still taste the bitter disappointment I felt that moment. We were having a family dinner in some restaurant, it was my Grandmother's birthday. It was a few days later that I learned there had been a huge fight at the table that night (5). The evening was ruined. I agreed. Stupid bicycle.

"So that's like 10, maybe 15 of you? Out of roughly 500?" My hand is still in the air, I look around and indeed, they are few of us who confirm they can draw. Erik Wahl (6) continues: "You know what would happen if I asked you the same question, when you were 5 years old? You'd all jump up and scream YES, I can draw!" Erik is amongst many things a graffiti artist, entrepreneur, but most of all a good public speaker. "What happened to you?" Now that's a good question. And it has nothing to do with losing your imagination. This is far more severe: somehow we are learned that we do not have the capabilities we believed in so confidently as a child. Better not to do it at all. We are learned we shouldn't waste our time with drawing. Or singing. Have you ever asked a group of children to sing? Ask the same question to adults to successfully create an awkward situation. In fact, public singing has become something awkward. When do we sing? When our headphones are playing our favourite song and we automatically get sucked into it. Only to realize we actually are singing, and quickly stop. Awkward. Or when we end up at a karaoke bar and alcohol has taken away the awkwardness. At least until we see the social media posts in the morning. Awkward. And yet, we love to sing. At least I do. I refuse to believe I am the only one who, when cleaning the house or driving my car, turns it up to 11 and pretends to be a Golden God of Rock 'n' Roll. The point being: we used to be confident that we were a creative force. But somehow many of us have lost that confidence, or at least parts.

No need to worry though. "Everyone can draw" Erik says comfortingly "but you need to be determined and train yourself to gain back what you have lost" Yoda said it better: "You must unlearn what you have learned." (7)  I guess this is a good time to apologize for the too many movie references. I can't help it. If the first step of a solution to a problem is to acknowledge that you have a problem, the first step of living is to wake up and remind yourself that you can.

I once said: "If the balls of the bed were vertical, they would be the balls of a shower. However, the balls are horizontal so they are the balls of a ball pit. Therefor I'll stay in bed." I still don't know what that means. If anyone has a good theory, please let me know. It made perfect sense to me when I said those words one morning, caught somewhere in time between dream and the dreadful reality of morning. "I don't care about the balls of your bed," my Dad replies, clearly not impressed with my early morning poetry, "You're late, get up!" Alright, I'll wake up...

Go stand in front of the mirror, and look the person you see in the eye. Then ask if that person is happy with who he or she is looking at. You might be surprised with what the answer is. This is something my father will say when he is disappointed in someone. Yes, he told me that a few times as well. I started listing a numbers of rules. Call them principles. Principles that, if I live by them, will allow me to look into those staring eyes in the mirror.