My Name Is Jasper

Redneck

You can tell the same lie a thousand times

But it never gets any more true

So close your eyes once more and once more believe

That they all still believe in you

Redneck – Randy Blythe (209)

In the last twenty months a number of big changes happened in the world of talk shows. In February 2014 Jay Leno handed down the mic of The Tonight Show to Jimmy Fallon. The Saturday Night Live prodigy has replaced the iconic wits and chin of his predecessor with childish antics that his already impressive guest list of entertainment's elite willingly indulges in. in a few weeks from now, Stephen Colbert will climb up the ladder of television hierarchy by switching from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, to CBS' The Late Show, filling David Letterman's considerable shoes. I'm happy Conan I still going strong, to show the new kids on the block how it's done.

While I admit to enjoy both shows, Stephen for his ease of tackling some of the larger issues in between clips of the next big thing coming to a screen near you, and Jimmy for the escapism from those issues – who cares about another armed conflict when you can see Dwayne The Rock Johnson lip-sync Taylor Swift's 'Shake it Off'? – I can't say I'm a loyal viewer. I'll watch highlights on YouTube whenever I need to kill a few minutes, but I can't remember when I've last watched a full episode.

My sentiments couldn't be more different for that other show. The comedy show that feels to be telling the truth more genuinely than any news show. The show who's long running host was once introduced by Conan at the 58th Emmy Awards as "[a man who has] done for fake news what the Fox News Channel has done for fake news" (210). I am obviously talking about the legendary Daily Show and the even more legendary Jon Stewart.

But today – Thursday August 6th 2015 – is a sad day. Today Jon hosted his last ever Daily Show.

As expected, there was the long list of cameos by current and former Daily Show Correspondents, including now Hollywood A-listers like Steve Carrell and Ed Helms, which ended with Sam to his Frodo Stephen Colbert bringing Stewart to tears with a very heartfelt and emotional 'Thank you and goodnight': "You are infuriatingly good at your job [...] and we are better people for having known you"

After the commercial break, Jon – for one last time – turned his chair slightly to the left for some Camera 3 action. What followed would prove to be amongst his finest monologues. It was a warning to his viewers – and successor Trevor Noah – to keep the flame burning. It will go down in television history as the Bullshit Monologue.

"Bullshit," Jon started, "is everywhere." What followed was pure gold. I hope both Jimmies, Stephen, Seth, yes even Conan, all took notes tonight. If not: here is the rest of Jon's monologue:

"There is very little that you will encounter in life that has not been, in some ways, infused with bullshit. Not all of it bad. Your general day-to-day, organic free-range bullshit is often necessary. Or at the very least innocuous. "Oh, what a beautiful baby. I'm sure it'll grow into that head." That kind of bullshit in many ways provides important social-contact fertilizer. It keeps people from making each other cry all day."

Jon then shifts into a higher gear: "But then there's the more pernicious bullshit. Your premeditated, institutional bullshit, designed to obscure and distract. Designed by whom? The bullshitocracy"

This bullshit is what Penn & Teller would call 'misdirection' instead of juggling. Well Penn would call it that, with Teller never speaking and all that. I definitely took a liking into the comedic magic by the militantly atheist duo in 2015. Anyway, back to our bullshit.

Jon explains: "It comes in three basic flavours. One, making bad things sound like good things. Organic, all-natural cupcakes. Because 'factory-made sugar oatmeal balls' doesn't sell. Patriot Act. Because "Are you scared enough to let me look at all your phone records" Act doesn't sell. So whenever something's been titled Freedom Family Fairness Health America, take a good long sniff. Chances are it's been manufactured in a facility that may contain traces of bullshit."

"Number two. The second way. Hiding the bad things under mountains of bullshit. Complexity. You know, I would love to download Drizzy's latest Meek Mill diss. Everyone promised me that that made sense. But I'm not really interested right now in reading Tolstoy's iTunes agreement. So I'll just click 'agree', even if it grants Apple Prima Nocte (211) with my spouse. Here's another one: Simply put, banks shouldn't be able to bet your pension money on red. Bullshit put, It's 'hey Dodd-Frank'(212)" exclaims Stewart as he slams the 849-page pile of paper that is that Act on his desk.

"Hey, a handful of billionaires can't buy our elections, right? Of course not. They can only pour unlimited, anonymous cash into a 501 C4 if 50% is dedicated to issue education, otherwise they'd have to 501 C6 it, or funnel it openly through a non-campaign coordinated super PAC with a quarter... I think they're asleep now, we can sneak out."

"And finally, [...] it's the bullshit of infinite possibility. These bullshitters cover their unwillingness to act under the guise of unending inquiry: "We can't do anything because we don't yet know everything. We cannot take action on climate change, until everyone in the world agrees gay-marriage vaccines won't cause our children to marry goats, who are going to come for our guns." Until then, I say teach the controversy."

But Jon wanted to leave us with a message of hope and tenacity:

"Now the good news is this: Bullshitters have gotten pretty lazy. And their work is easily detected. And looking for it is kind of a pleasant way to pass the time. Like an 'I Spy' of bullshit."

"So I say to you tonight, friends, the best defense against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something."

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(209) Lyric from the Grammy nominated Lamb Of God song Redneck (Epic, 2006). Not that such a nomination says a whole lot: The Grammys a disputable track record at best when it comes to my preferred music.

(210) The following introduction to the nominees for best Reality TV remains one of the best moments of the 2006 ceremony.

(211) Prima Nocte, Latin for 'the first night', was a custom in at various times and places in history that granted a Lord to sleep with a bride on her wedding night.

(212) Jon refers to The Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act (Pub.L. 111–203, H.R. 4173), which was signed into federal law by President Barack Obama on July 21, 2010.

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Thanks for reading this short chapter - more is coming :)