Wherever You Are

Chapter 3- Leaving

'So I see Christen's staying with you,' my fellow USWNT and Portland Thorns teammate Allie Long had noted once I arrived for training. She was probably the only person I opened up to about most things, that's why we were so close. Most people assumed she "ruined things between Alex and I" but there was nothing going on between us in the first place. Alex was my best friend but nothing more.

Still she had no idea of any of the feelings I had for Chris. No idea, nada, none. I think I was the only one that even a slight idea, and even then I barely understood my own feelings. I had spent years getting to know Christen, and each time I found it harder and harder to leave her when camp was over. It was this that lead me to figure out I had feelings for her, but now they were becoming harder and harder to ignore.

'Yeah, she's with me until we fly out too camp,' I replied, smiling to myself mostly but also at the fact I had an entire three days alone with the dark haired beauty.

'Stop smiling, it's contagious, what's put you in such a good mood?' She laughed as we began our partner warm ups, simple passing and stretching.

'Nothing, I'm just naturally happy,' I replied, taking a quick glance at the gate where I had last seen Christen, she wasn't there anymore, where would she have gone?

'Bullshit, the last time you smiled like that was when I used to mention-' Allie had begun before I silenced her quickly.

'Shut up, not a word,' I cut in, how was she so good at this? Well reading people to be exact.

'So do you like her?' She asked, taking the change in colour of my cheeks to a light red as the final confirmation.

'Well like, you know, in a friendly way,' I spluttered after taking a minute to revaluate my entire life history of any sort of attraction to her.

'Sure, right so how long?' She probed, desperately curious for more information that I was unwilling to give. I didn't even know how long, was it a month? Had it built up over the past years? All I really knew is I no longer felt platonically attracted to her, there was something much bigger then that now.

'Fuck, Allie I don't even know myself. I just know it's not friendly anymore. That's the first time I've even admitted it out loud. Allie wait, fuck I have feelings for her, how did you even, fuck,' I whisper yelled as my coach called us into the beginning of training as a whole.

'Take it easy, Tobin. Think about it while we finish up here,' she left me with that. That's it. She left, with nothing more then that. She just left me here to train with that lingering in my mind. "I'd thank her later" no doubt.

The little things ran through my mind the entire length of the remaining time allocated to training. The times when I subbed for her, or she subbed for me and we hugged, fuck. The times when we finished games and would always seem to gravitate towards each other, fuck. The glances I always stole when I thought she wasn't looking, fuck. The way my heart sped up and my breathing faltered when I picked her up from the airport, fuck. The countless amount of times I'd found myself thinking about her with no real reason, fuck.

Only now had I realised properly, why had it taken me this long? Was I really that bad of a procrastinator to leave it until now to figure this out? You've got to be kidding me, now what am I going to do with myself?

'Allie! Allie?' I called out, she shook her head and mouthed "you're welcome." How I hate how right she was, but how I loved it at the same time.