Amber's POV
I walked over to Mia and sat down in front of her arguing.
"He had a girlfriend. That's why he could never love me? But I don't understand how did he get away with it? He knew what was going on with me. And maybe I just became a burden. I always have been a burden. Although I don't like sharing my feelings all the time I'm selfish. Well that's what they call it when you commit suicide right? Well that's what my mom told me when I was laying in the hospital. But is it really selfish? Wouldn't keeping someone alive who is drowning breathing air be selfish? I don't get it how people can be crewel. And I loved Ben. I loved him so much. Maybe I couldn't keep myself happy with him because I put all my time into him."
*SMAKE*
I looked over and Ben was holding his cheek. But then I realized well Mia was next to me.. I saw the girl walk past all the arguing and she just walked out the door.
Mia: "You deserved this." She then smacked Ben on the same cheek. Then left, and walked to her car. When she got in her car she started hitting the wheel and put her head down.
Mia: "I'm sorry Amber. I should've protected you and I know I know. I'm going to keep saying sorry because I'm not ready to lose you even know I already did. There trying to keep you alive but... Omg you're at the hospital I'm sorry I'm sorry."
Eventually she got to the hospital.
"Amber I need Amber. WHERE IS SHE!" She hit the desk where the nurse was.
"I'm sorry who are you?"
"I'm Mia. Amber commuted suicide where is she. I need to say goodbye."
The nurse got up, walked out of her desk area. She started walking towards a door.
"Here."
I walked in the room after Mia.
Why am I not dead? WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP SAVING ME!! I know I said I wasn't ready after I killed myself but seeing all this god yes I'm happy I did because I can't do it. I wanna walk into the light I want to be set free.
"Jesus Amber. Can't you see you're not ready. You keep getting more chances in life. I'm not ready to say goodbye and Amber? God you're not either you can't say goodbye to me. Why can't you see! THEY WERE WRONG! Everything everyone your feelings. You have to believe they were wrong. Just like Shane said. Just like he said."
Beep beep beep.
She was right I guess, that I can't commit suicide and actually die. I'm doing something wrong maybe, but maybe it is more chances. See! I don't know what I want I don't want to live but I've given up. I'm not okay. And I keep falling and I don't want to go to therapy. I want to live and get better but right now I want it to end.
"I did love you, you know I did." Ben walked in the room.
"You didn't if you moved on to that one girl." I mumbled with tears.
"It's because you did this have you ever thought why. I couldn't stand to see you bad so I left."
"You still did leave."
"I love you, can you please take me back."
