Letters

October 6, 2013

Dear Max,

I'm giving up.

I know that I shouldn't, but what else is left to do?

You were here when Dad left forever. I know it was a car accident, but I blame him for everything shitty in my life. He was the beginning of my emotional turmoil. I sometimes even blame mom for his death. If she didn't want a ride home from work that day Dad would still be here and Step prick wouldn't need to be in my life.

Step prick has made my life a living hell. He's constantly following me around and yelling at me. He's even slapped me 5 or 6 times. It's bullshit, how can someone say he cares when he treats me like a prisoner instead of a step daughter.

And then there's Rachel. Rachel was sent from heaven to save me from my hell. I loved her so much and I know she loved me too, well at least I thought she did. She left me too. She promised me a future and a better life, but then she left and it was almost like she never existed. She hurt me so much, why would she leave without me?

And then there's you, Max. We were best friends ever since Kindergarten. We did everything together. It almost feels like yesterday when we were ten trying my mom's wine and playing pirate in my backyard. But now is a different time than then. You left too, why does everyone leave me? 

I'm so depressed, and scared. Frank is still after me, I'm scared he's going to kill me. So why don't I save him the trouble? I owe him so much money plus interest now, I'm never going to be able to pay him back, unless I can bribe Nathan well enough. But I'm sure it's not going to work.

Max, I still love you so much. I wish you never moved to Seattle,  I wish you would've kept in touch with me. I wish you were here right now. The time for wishing is over though, it's time for everything to end.

I stole one of Step prick's guns this morning, and I'm going to send a bullet straight through the back of my head. I did a bunch of research on the subject and that's the easiest way to go. It won't hurt, I hope. 

I know you'll never read this, but Max, you're destined to be an amazing photographer. I've known that since the first time you showed me a picture you took. Maybe one day your photos will land you in LA and maybe you'll meet Rachel. I know we didn't talk at all after you left, but you're still my best friend, Max. Forever. I'm going to miss you and if you ever find yourself back in Arcadia Bay, please pay Mom a visit and give her a hug for me. Tell her I'm sorry, it must be awful to lose a husband and a child, but I couldn't go on anymore. I gave this life hell, I really did, but I can't do it anymore.

I know I lived life shitty and I don't deserve a happy afterlife, but maybe I'll see Dad again. Maybe I'll be able to see his smile again and hear his laugh. I've missed it so much.

Well, this letter has gone on long enough and my hands starting to hurt. I wish you the best, I really do.

And Max Caulfield, don't you forget about me...

Chloe