The Time Shadow |COMPLETED|

Chapter 20

The Doctor gazed upon the waves of water tightening his coat. She was right. The beach he stood on was incredibly cold, and the freezing wind that blew his hair, quietly annoyed him. What was he doing there? Last time he checked, he wanted to never remember her. His drained of love soul and hearts shivered at the thought of Rose. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to remember those dreams she talked about and imagine them. It looked painful, his ghosty image talking to her. He imagined Rose crying, Rose sadly smiling and asking for his plans. Rose's eyes drowning in red, Rose's body shivering. Rose wanting to touch him, Rose telling him about the baby carried by her mother... and that was all. He was capable to imagine everything like it had happened before, like it was a memory ,a reality.

But it wasn't.

Rose died sacrificing herself for him and his stupid choices and decisions. She died with tears and pain, her body disappearing among with light and spirit.
He was never going to forgive himself. No. It was his fault, he was the one who needed to die. He was the one who needed to explode with emptiness. Rose was innocent.

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. He couldn't quite understand. His superior Timelord brain couldn't match it, couldn't find the solutions to his questions. Why did the Progonth choose a human over an old and sad man like him? He was a bomb. His memories were full of pain . Gallifrey being destroyed; family and friends being killed , the people he lost traveling abroad the TARDIS, his regeneration process. Everything was more painful than Rose's past. So why?

He chose to walk some steps ahead, trying to clear his mind. Was it all worth it? Everything that was? Everything that is? Everything that could be?
Wasteland is land which is worthless
for cultivation. Like a child who has been emotionally bruised in a way that can never heal.
He did not care what the end would be, and in his lucid moments overvalued his indifference. The danger, when not seen, has the imperfect vagueness of thought. The fear grows shadowy; and Imagination, the enemy of men, the father of all terrors, unstimulated, sinks to rest in the dullness of exhausted emotion.

He deepened his hands inside the pockets of his trousers as he walked away from the sound of waves crashing. It was becoming annoying to hear it; the pain inside his brain was loud enough.
The Doctor stepped back inside the TARDIS, and she welcomed him back, only he didn't reply. He took a look at the control panel, flashes of memories posessing his vision. How much she liked to run around the console room, to mock him and say he can't drive. How she almost sent them inside a black hole by accident, how she wasted her time reading to her favourite book in there.

Wonder if the book's still there, he thought.

The Doctor walked the stairs up and approached her door, and without even thinking, just a reflex, knocked.
Why was he knocking? She was gone, for bloody hell.
He pressed the door handle and slowly opened it, then entered, his eyes looking for an old brown book.
The room remained the same as always. Some clothes scattered in the corner, her parfume and other female things on her desk.

Where is it girl?, he addressed himself to the TARDIS.
When she didn't responded, he realized she was still mad for earlier.

Oh, well. I'm gonna find it alone..

He took a look inside a nightstand which laid next to her fluffy pink chair. It wasn't there. He moved himself towards the table full of flowers, which she always complained about, and gazed upon it. Nothing.

But I don't need flowers in here. Who is going to water them while we're gone?

The TARDIS could. And look from other perspective. Those plants are source of oxygen. What if you wake up at night and feel like not breathing? There are no windows in here.

I could run out the room. You as well don't need too much sleep, so you'll be awake.

But think about those dreams you're having. A plant has a great influence upon a sleeping brain.

I am doing just fi- Wait a second. Doctor? What did you do to those plants?

Hm? What do you mean? I did nothing.

Yes you did. Influence on sleeping brain? Dreams? It's obvious.

But I am only trying to protect you from those nighymares.

There is a time, when even a cloud becomes a path with rain. Doctor. I am perfectly fine. Nothing's gonna happen to me.

The Doctor sadly laughed.

"This doesn't look like nothing, does it Rose?" he said out loud like she was there to hear.

He approached a vase with margarets and slowly lifted it, his look drifting on its colours. He inspected it, like it was the last thing he could do, and after a couple of seconds he smashed it against the nearest wall, breaking it in multiple parts.
Those flowers did nothing good.

The Doctor sat on the fluffy chair sighing, hands covering his face and rubbing it. He fucked up. He really did, no wonder companions come and go as a train of thoughts. He tried to calm himself down and concentrate, breathing in and out, when the beeping sound inside his ears became louder and louder.

What the-?

He stood up and followed the sound until he reached the vase he smashed not long ago. Under the pieces of what remained from it, he grabbed the Anti-Virus.

What? he thought, and as he took a look at the screen, his face darkened. What?!

Computer not connected. Procedure cannot be accomplished. Computer not connected. Virus not released.

A/N: So, yeah. That was it for today. I hope you had a great time this week. And for those who are actually reading my Author's Note, I think I'm gonna start a book with all my DrWho Drawings. One hour and it will be published, I think.
Thank you for reading this chapter, and don't forget to check out The Story Ever After!

Btw, it may sound like a stupid idea; but I was thinking about putting this book on Amazon. What do you think?

Bye!