Life After An Eating Disorder

Instagram

After being convinced by all my piers that it'd be a good idea to make an Instagram post regarding National Eating Disorder Month, I finally did with a caption of;

This is very hard to post for me, but I've wanted to do something like this for a while now....
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I'm probably stupid for posting this, but.... It's Eating Disorder Awareness Month and I thought I'd make some people aware.
Summer of 2015:
After threatened to be kicked off the gymnastic team from my parents, and almost taken off by my couch, I realized something was wrong. I was taken out of dance for a few months (about two or three) right after my recital. I completely isolated myself in my room for the entire summer. I refused to see my friends, I refused to go swimming, and I didn't even want to go on vacation because I hated my body so much. All of this didn't matter anyway. I broke the trust in many friendships, which I'm glad to say I've regained these friends. It was way to cold to go swimming, in my eyes at least. And I wasn't allowed to go on vacation unless I reached a certain weight.
I was "recovering" when I hit my lowest point. It wasn't my lowest weight, but my lowest point. I remember thinking I was getting better, but, now looking back, I realize that I was just getting much worse.
I eventually gained all the weight and was allowed to go on this vacation. On this vacation of one week I lost fourteen pounds. I was freezing the whole vacation. I remember a friend of mine of whom I met there told me that I looked awful and that I need help. I didn't believe her, of course. Every time I ate anything, I'd have to spend hours laying down because my stomach was so unused to eating food.
I got home and my BMI was 14.5 and I was in the 1st percentile for my age, height, and weight. (I don't have any picture from then, but these two pictures are about 45 to 50 pounds apart).
I spent that whole miserable summer being juggled between treatment centers and doctors offices and dietitians and nutritionists.
I still struggle with everything I went through today, but I made it out fighting.
I am an anorexia nervosa survivor.

I knew I'd be a bad idea to post it, but I did and ended up getting tons of support. I no longer have to hide my secrets.