After months and months of finding new ways to deal with all this stress, I took it out on gymnastics.
I'm on beam, of course. There's only two girls who only do beam, me and Brittney. So we've gotten close.
I watched as Brittney did her dismount off. "Do you have abs?" I curiously asked. She shook her head way too much for such a simple question. "I don't have muscles on my stomach, but I also don't have fat." It's clear that she's skinny. I nodded and then told me, without hesitation that she wasn't always that way. "I used to have anorexia." She explained. She sounded so causal too. Everything she said flowed so fluently. "Oh my god! Me too!" I said, maybe a bit too loud. "Really? Damn girl, you look fine now. How old were you?" She asked. Fine as in fat. "I was 12 when I developed anorexia, but I had an eating disorder before that. What about you?" She started telling me her back story. She was an overweight child and she's had this awful disorder for four years, but she's been recovering for three. I've only had this disorder for a year and a half, I tried recovery for about two months, now I'm slowly relapsing and going back into my binge/starve routine. I didn't say that last part, of course.
I learnt that I'm not alone, even in places where I don't expect anybody to understand, if I open up a little, I might get a "me too" from somewhere. Brittney was brave and I could tell she trusted me, and I decided to trust her in the slightest moment of "me too".
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Life After An Eating Disorder
RandomWhy me? Why did I have to be part of that 2% of people with eating disorders? Why did I have to be juggled between treatment centers and doctors during the "best" years of my life? This is a memoir about eating disorders, yes, but not about having o...
