Life After An Eating Disorder

apple picking

I fell asleep on the couch while Mitch and Jake were still in my house, but I was awoken by my mother at five in the morning the next Saturday that my family would be going upstate to go apple picking.
I quickly got ready and met my family in the car. "It took you long enough." Shawn said the second my father pulled out of the drive way.

I swear my whole family could hear my stomach growling on the ride there since I didn't eat breakfast. "AJ, sweetie, we can stop and get you something to eat" my mother says, she know I still have problems with food. "That's okay, thank you though, I'll just wait until we get to the apple orchard." I say calm and convincingly. I'm starving.

My fathers pulls the family 2010 SUV to a sudden stop. We're finally here. Shawn and I race to the concession stand and he gets a donut and hot chocolate. Since my mom is standing directly behind me, I order a bagel without butter or cream cheese.
The worker hands me a steaming hot plain bagel. So many carbs. I can do this. I can't do this. One little bite. I'll gain a thousand pounds. Breakfast is the ideal way to start the day. Chuck it now, nobody's looking! I have to eat.

I carefully rise the bagel near my mouth. I sniff it, I can't do it, I force it closer to my lips, I can't do this, one little bite, I don't want it. I need the food.
A family friend, Steven, approached me. "Hey AJ!" He pulled me into a bear hug. I don't need the bagel. I gently tossed the bagel into a trash can behind me while trapped in the everlasting hug between Steven and I.

Steven, Shawn, and I apple picked all day and I actually ate some apples, on Steven'd demand, of course, but I've read that apples help with belly fat loss anyways.