I don't believe in recovery.
I think it's all a bunch of bullshit. All this "ED FREE" life stuff, I don't think it works.
I know, I know, I'm young, I haven't tried hard enough, I have to fully commit myself to recovering, etc. I don't want to though.
I've talked to people who've had eating disorders since young adulthood, and they still have theirs.
The wisest person in the world had bulimia from when she was in her last teens until now, and she still has that awful disorder today.
When I developed my eating disorder, I was still a child, and now I'm stuck with it forever. I'm stuck with this voice in my head.
But what is "the voice"? It's hard to explain unless you have it, but the best way for me to word it would be it's like another person. "The voice" speaks to you involuntary. You know it's yourself, but you're not doing it and you're not controlling it.
I will always have the voice.... just like how I'll always have an eating disorder.
AU: I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I WROTE THIS BUT IT WAS A WHILE AGO AND I NEVER PUBLISHED IT SO HERE IT IS
YOU ARE READING
Life After An Eating Disorder
RandomWhy me? Why did I have to be part of that 2% of people with eating disorders? Why did I have to be juggled between treatment centers and doctors during the "best" years of my life? This is a memoir about eating disorders, yes, but not about having o...
