The Sound of My Voice

Chapter 9

I woke up in the middle of the night and noticed I was still in Loki's arms. He had turned back into his humanoid form but his skin still felt pleasantly cold to me. I felt how he clung tightly to me as if he knew he'd lose me. I didn't think for a second that would happen. Not now. Not after what he proved to me. All doubt had been washed away from me, and I smiled. I smiled because he feared to lose me. From what it sounded like, he'd never been loved by a woman before and now that he feels what it's like to love and be loved, he doesn't want to let go. It's adorable and quite beautiful, and it made me blissfully happy to know that I'm precious to him.

I felt him shift around in bed, but he didn't release his grip on me. He moved me from laying down beside him to on top of him in his sleep. I could hear his deep even breathing, with my face pressed against his toned, but soft chest and I inched upwards, nuzzling my face in his neck, feeling the coolness of his skin against mine. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep and not move around too much so as not to wake him when I felt his head move and his lips pressed against my forehead. I stayed as still as I could, pretending to be asleep, I'm not sure why, and I felt his lips curl into a smile. "Anna, you are everything to me. You've taught me how to love... to grieve... and you've shown me that at least one person really loves me," he said softly in my ear. I didn't know whether to respond or not, not knowing if he realized that I was awake or not. I wanted to hear his heart and the things he was too proud to say, if that's what was going on anyway. He began to run his fingers through my hair, "You're beautiful even when you're asleep..." This made me assume he thought I was asleep so I continued pretending to be as he traced the lines on my back with his fingers and his touch was so heavenly that I let a sigh escape from my lips. I thought he had discovered that I was awake for a moment, but he didn't. He only chuckled and kissed my cheek before drifting off to sleep again and I followed suit soon after.

I woke up early the next morning, surprised to see Loki still soundly asleep, then I realized he mustv'e been spent from last night. Strangely, I was also in a very cutesy mood so I cuddled close to him with a big idiotic smile on my face and traced his features delicately with my fingers, humming cheerfully. I traced his cheekbones, his eyebrows and finally his soft, thin lips. My fingers only went halfway across when he opened his mouth and captured my fingers in it, his tongue swerving around them, pulling them in. I blushed brightly in surprise, "L-Loki!" Without opening his eyes, he smirked and held my fingers in his mouth before trailing his tongue and wet kisses along my arm, "Simply gorgeous my dear..." he said huskily in my ear. "You're terrible," was all I managed to say without stuttering as I blushed. "You love this terrible one nonetheless." I chuckled and pecked his lips before getting out of bed, smirking, "That I do..." I pulled on one of those Asgardian dresses just for the heck of it and went to a mirror to fix my hair and rub the sand out of my eyes. He suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist and I jumped, startled. "I love you, Anna..." I blushed and smiled before turning around slowly and hugging him tightly, "I love you too, Loki... So, so much"

"Anna?"

"yes?

"When you mentioned your brother to me when I told you Thor was banished... What did you mean?"

My face becomes melancholic and distant. I thought for a while before speaking, "I'm the youngest of two children Loki... I had an older brother, Freddie... He was a... Planned occurrence and I wasn't. My parents always payed attention to him because he was the wanted son and he was a far better musician than I... He would practice his violin every night without fail and everything out came out beautifully... I on the other hand was jealous... Jealous of his talent, his obedient manner and most of all my parents' love. My mother cared a little, but my father always compared me to Freddie. He'd say I was a mediocre musician and I should stop now while I'm not embarrassing anyone..." I saw Loki start to look at me sadly and walked me to the bed where he sat me down next to him. "It made me hate Freddie... He wasn't a bad person though, I mean... He'd play with me every so often, but most of the time he was busy with his practicing so I never really got to bond with him... One day, when I was eight, both my parents were unable to take me to school so Freddie had to take me. The school wasn't far from our house so we could easily walk there. It was a private school so I had to wear a uniform, and the uniform had a cute little hat... As we crossed the first street, my hat flew off and landed in the middle of the street. You couldn't enter school without your full uniform so I ran to get it. Suddenly the light turned green and a car was coming in fast... I didn't notice it either but Freddie did. He screamed my name and ran towards me flushing me out of the way just in time... But he took the hit instead... I was shocked, not only because Freddie saved me but because he risked his life to preserve mine... I ran to him, crying, throwing a fit, because I saw blood and Freddie's swollen dislocated limbs, and I was screaming to him not to die and he opened his eyes tiredly and said, 'Anna... You're an excellent guitarist and a beautiful singer... I often listened to you practice when we're at home and I'm sorry I never had time to play with you... I wish I did, because you're a very special girl...' And with that he died... His heart stopped beating before the ambulance could even arrive... And I miss Freddie. I hate myself for ever hating him just because my parents favored him over me..."

As I finished my story, tears started to roll down my cheeks. No, stop. You're better than this, Anna... Loki moved his hand and caressed my face, wiping the tears away with his thumb and kissing my forehead softly, "He was right you know... You are a very, very special girl and I'm eternally grateful to him for keeping you alive so I could meet you and fall in love with you, Anna. You don't have to hate yourself. You're caring, sweet, and beautiful in every way... So please don't cry... I want to see you smile instead..." Tears instantly spilled faster and I smiled sadly before hugging Loki tightly, crying on his shoulder. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I could barely utter the words as they were being drowned in my sobs, "I Love you Loki. So much you don't even understand... This is the first time I've told anyone this and you listened and... And ... I miss brother Freddie..." I was sobbing like a child. I never sobbed like this. But I did today and Loki was here to comfort me. He was really special and I'm glad I told him I loved him, because I did. He cradled me in his arms until I calmed down and he kissed me softly on the lips, "I understand how you feel now, my dear... I'll do everything to get Thor back I promise. Now that I think about it I'd hate to lose my brother as well, no matter how stupid he can get." I can't help but smile and laugh a little at this and I kiss him back, "Thank you, Loki."

Almost a week or so passed and Thor still hasn't been able to return and Odin was still in a coma of sorts (don't expect me to memorize all these terms), but lately, Loki hasn't seemed to be himself. He always goes back to his room late and leaves early and I only see him either pacing about the palace or asleep with me in the middle of the night. I wonder what has him so stressed and worked up?

My train of thought is interrupted by Loki entering the room. I was playing the guitar, as usual, on the couch. "Loki, sweetheart, is everything okay?" "Everything's fine..." That's a lie. I know it is... He sounds tense and his expression is different. I look into his eyes and I see their color as an icy blue. Weren't his eyes green? I'm pretty sure they were green. Did he dye them? I doubt it. If not then what's going on with him. "Are you sure? If something's up you know you can tell me and I'll listen..."I said I'm fine!" He snapped at me. I looked at him in shock. He's never snapped at me like that before and it made a hole in my chest to hear him say that in that tone. "Alright..." I said softly, before getting up and walking out with my guitar. It's better to leave him alone then... I found a stairwell and practiced my guitar, not really feeling like it, but it took my mind off of Loki. I had a bad feeling but I couldn't quite put my finger on it... After a while I just fell asleep, mentally exhausted.

I woke up to the sound of explosions and vibrations coursing through the walls of the palace. My eyes snapped open and, with my guitar in hand I sprung up and ran downstairs. What was that? Why is my heart pounding like crazy? I run outside to the bifrost where I could hear the explosions getting louder and I see Loki and Thor. Thor? He's back? Then I saw Loki take a violent swing at his brother with a staff or something. I couldn't see it very well from there but it's not good. My adrenaline is pumping high and I know the uneasiness about Loki all week has been right all along. I find myself running to them, franticaly, "LOKI! LOKI, STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Both turn their heads and I'm surprised, or maybe not so surprised, to see Thor was the one who looked worried about me. Before Loki could even move, Thor bolted towards me and grabbed me, throwing me towards the other side of the bridge and I noticed Heimdall, frozen in ice. Did Loki do that? My back hit the ground and I winced in pain and when I got up, Thor had freed Heimdall and pinned Loki to the ground with his hammer in hand and ready to come down. "NO THOR STOP!" I screamed as tears of horror and fear spilled down my cheeks. My eyes widen as I saw Thor's hammer deliberately fall beside Loki, breaking the Bifrost bridge. I don't know what exactly happened next, it's still fuzzy in my head, but somehow, Loki ended up falling off the edge and there was Thor holding onto him for dear life. I was screaming and carrying on because the man I loved was acting strange, I didn't know what was going on and worse he was dangling from a bridge that could lead to oblivion below. "Heimdall, get Miss Anna out of here and back to Midguard! Now!" Thor yelled and Heimdall nodded and from where I was a bright light shined behind me. "No... No! NO, LOKI! LOKI COME BACK!" I felt my body being pulled in and the last thing I see is Loki letting go of his brother and falling what seemed like miles. He was gone.

In an instant, I'm back in my old apartment. Dust collected everywhere and my bill to pay the rent was stuck under my living room door. What I just saw ripped my heart out of me. Loki... Gone? He can't be gone. I love him too much. It's the first time I've ever actually fallen in love... Why did he...? When I felt the full gravity of the situation I fell to my knees and broke down, crying. It seemed like hours before I finally ran out of tears and looked at the clock: 12:30pm. I walk to my old room and grabbed my purse and checked to see how much money I had and dressed in a plain tshirt and jeans before heading out the door. I walked a couple blocks to the bar I worked at and saw my old friend, Priscilla, bar tending at the almost empty joint. "Anna! It's been a while! You don't start till tomorrow right? Whatcha doing here?" I sighed and sat at the counter in front of her, "I feel like shit, Priscilla... Get me a brandy." She looked at me in shock, "What's the matter, Hun? You never touch that stuff!" She said as she poured me a glass anyway. I emptied the glass in a second and pushed it back, snorting "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Get me another will ya?" "Try me." She says as she fills the glass again and I drink it down. "For the past month I've been dating this super awesome guy..." My head started to get clouded and the hole in my chest started to close slowly, "And he was all perfect and crap. He was the God Of Mischief if you will, like I'm not even kidding. Loki the God of Mischief!" "He sounds like a Comic Con goer." I shake my head as I feel my face become hot and I ask for another drink, " Nuh uh, Priscilla. I'm talking the REAL GODDAMN GOD OF FUCKING MISCHIEF. And he was fucking sexy!" "You slept with this guy!?" She asked half surprised half interested, not fully believing my gibberish. I think the only thing that kept her enticed and sort of believing me was my strange behavior and the fact that I'm a very factual person. I'm not even religious. "Fuck yeah I did! Rough. Passionate. Sex!" Said giggling. Oh yeah, I was so drunk. "And he said he loved me and i fell in love with him and it was just sooooooo perfect, but then his brother got sent down here for wanting to start a war and a whole mess started and Loki was gonna bring him back but then he started acting weird and then they had a fight and next thing I know I see him fall off a fucking bridge into fucking space!" I say starting to sob like an idiot. Priscilla looked at me shocked. I'm not sure if she was thinking I was crazy or was actually surprised that I said I loved someone or, even less likely, she believed me. I half didn't care anyway because I was drunk and I was asking for another glass. "Anna, you shouldn't be drinking like that. Especially you since you're so sensitive to alcohol." "Shaddup! I am a proud Irishwoman and its about fucking time I drink like one, dammit." I said taking the last glass of sprits I could drink before I passed out.

When I woke up, I'm in my bed in my apartment and I felt pounding in my head. Great. Fucking hangover. I got up to get an aspirin after vomiting a couple times in the toilet and I wondered how I got back. Wasn't I in the bar last night with Priscilla? Then I see the note, "you passed out so I brought you to your apartment. I'm sorry about Loki and all. I bought food for your apartment because you literally have cobwebs in the cabinets. Also don't worry about the check. It's on me" Maybe she did believe me. I'm glad Priscilla's my friend... I got the aspirin and some water and I started thinking about Loki again... How he looked as a Jotun... Then I remembered: we had SEX. Not just any sex. Rough sex. UNPROTECTED, rough sex. Fuck. I ran to the nearest drug store, bought one of those pregnancy test things and ran back to my apartment. I went to the bathroom and checked... That shit doesn't lie... My heart sank with fear and sadness. I was pregnant with Loki's child.