Cabin by the lake

Chapter 12

~Harry's POV~

"let me see her!" I screamed frantic trying to get out of my bed but I was held down by a strong man dressed in scrubs. They didn't say anything, they just "shh"d me. "please" I begged looking at the smallest nurse, she was a tiny thing, but she just stared at me. It's as if she wanted to help me but was scared. Everything got blurry again. All I remember after that is waking up what felt like days later but I know it was just hours. I look around and all I see is a small tv in the corner, a small round table to my side with chairs around it. I feel a slight pinch and look down at my wrist, an IV? I need to go, she's probably freaking out. I try to get up but the pain In mu stomach is to much to bare. I keep trying but eventually give up. I hear the door open and panic, I hope its not another nurse. I look over and see a guy around my age with brown, messy hair and blue eyes. I smile at the familiar figure.

"hey bro!" he says cheery as always.

"hey Louis" I am actually really happy to see him, I wish one of the other boys were with him though. It hasn't been the same for a long time. I miss hanging out with him but I cant even be seen with him just the two of us because of "Larry".

"wats up?" he asks trying to smile but I can tell its fake. I know him too well to be fooled by that but I decide not to even bother. He stays by the door, my best friend cant even come closer to me then that, That's just so fucking sad! I love our fans but some of them just took it too far.

"nothing just got shot by my crazy girlfriend" I say so cavalier that it scares me. I realize those probably weren't the best. I see a light of fear through his eyes. He laughs a little so I wouldn't notice but too late I did.

"bitches man" Louis says laughing a real laugh after he says it. I try to laugh but it just hurts. We sit in silence for a little while until Louis decides to say something. "She's ok, she is getting help" he could have not picked more perfect words to tell me. I feel a wave of relief wash over me. She's ok. I am not sure why I am so worried about a girl who just shot me.

I have to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. The doctor said I was lucky, the bullet didn't hit anything to major besides me. I don't think I was lucky though, I know its crazy but I have to believe she couldn't have done it knowing It would hurt me. She wouldn't hurt a fly, not my Courtney.

"harry!" liam yells waving his hands in front of me. How long has he been here? I look at him, he's in a wheelchair with a cast on his leg.

"whot?" I ask him clearly not paying attention.

"I asked if you missed her?" liam tells me. Why would he ask that, of course I do.

"no" I answer flatly. he just looks confused "I mean I miss my Courtney but the person who shot me wasn't her." I tell him, he just nods like he understands. How dare he? He has no fucking clue how bad this hurts, not the gun shot but the ache I have in my heart.

"liam come on we have to go" a girl average height with brown curly hair walks into the door and stands behind liam. She looks so familiar I know she is a friend of Courtney's but what was her name. Alex? Alyssa? Ashton? Ashley? All....Allison? Yes, Allison!

"go where?" I ask her.

"to the apartment, I am going to take care of him for awhile since it is Courtney's fault and they are staying here" she tells me. When were they planning on telling me they were staying here? I get out in a few days. Why would they want to stay here? Allison and liam leave. I drift asleep.

The next few days just go by so fast. Niall picks me up and brings me to the cabin. It looks almost empty without Courtney or her things. How she would always have a sweatshirt on the couch next to her just in case. Maybe how she would arrange the furniture differently every once in a while. How her side of the bed was always messy. i start to walk towards the bedroom. "need me to help mate?" niall asks me.

"no can i just be alone in the house for a little bit?" i ask him trying to be nice. I just want to be alone, well i want to be with Courtney but i cant. he nods and leaves with the other boys. i open the door to the bed room where we spent most of our time.

They did a good job at clearing out her stuff. i go over to her side and sit down. I open the drawer of her bedside table and i see a small book. It was her journal. i open it and start flipping through the pages. I pass by pages about how she loves me. I go to the last which was dated on the day before she shot me. ugh i haven't really admitted it to myself that she shot me. I started to read.

"Dear Harold,

It's hard to write this but i find myself slipping away everyday. I am so sorry for how i brought you into my stupid messed up life. I love you so much and i know i hurt you everyday and that is why i have to do this while i can. It's not because of you, you are actually the only reason i have lasted this long. I know if i am alive any longer i will hurt you. Tomorrow is Thursday, and i know you have to go to the store so when you leave i wont be here and if i am i will be blue. WE will see you in heaven..

love, us" my hands start to shake as i grip the notebook in my hands. i can feel the tears stream down my face. She was going to kill herself? And who is "we" or "us" what does she mean. I know she was in well is in a bad place but she isn't so crazy she would mistake we for me. This is just to much, i have to go see her! now! i walk as fast as i can out of that house and climb into my truck. Courtney loved this truck. i start to drive and get on the highway.

I find myself at the apartment she shared with her friends. i knock on the door. i wait and soon the tall man, her brother, answers the door. "can i help you?" he asks me. What do i say? can you tell me where your crazy sister who shot me is?

"may i speak to Allison?" i ask him. He just shuts the door. a moment later it answers and Allison is there.

"what?" she asks mad as if i am at fault.

"Please tell me where Courtney is" i ask, well tell her.

"no" she snaps almost shutting the door but my foot stops her.

"Please"i growl and she sighs.

"even if i told you, you cant see her. It's her doctor's orders" she tells me. i then leave and go back to my truck. i cant even see her. i need to know and shes the only one who can tell me. I start my truck again and out of the corner of my eye I see a figure running towards me. I look to see that it's another one of Courtney's friends, the small one. I stop and unlock the doors, she climbs in.

"remember me? Sadie" she says and I just look so confused. What is she doing here? "I'm going to try to bring you to Courtney" she says answering my thoughts.

"won't Allison get mad?" I ask her and she lets out a big sigh.

"yes but it's important right? I mean I left the journal for you to find after I read it of course" she smiles at me. Great is she crazy to? She left that journal for me... so she knows. Sadie must know everything if she read it. "she really loves you" she tells me as we drive off.