High School Crush

Chapter Seven

Here you go guys! Dedicating this to @TheOfficalBritish for being kind and supportive towards my story! Thank you x

I laid in bed, tears rushing down my face. My fringe was damp and stuck to my cheeks but I didn't care. I didn't try to move it or dry it, I didn't try to stop crying, I couldn't. I rolled over and burried my face into my pillow, trying to stop the tears from cascading down my face but it didn't work. I lifted my face up from my pillow and looked down at it. It was damp now, cold and wet, so I flipped over my pillow and laid on my back, thinking. It all made sense to me now, why mum had said 'when it's confirmed' and how she was so worried on the phone. It wasn't a daze to me anymore which upset me even more. If it was a daze and nothing made sense then I'd be able to forget about it, think it all a massive lie, but it did make sense. It made so much sense. The letter, my mum, how my dad left, how the last thing he said to us was...

'I'll never stop loving any of you. You'll stay inside my heart forever and a day, just know that that is my true word.'

We didn't believe him though. None of us did. We shouted and screamed and cried and said things we didn't mean. Curt told him that he was a useless father and nothing he said nor did now would ever make up for him leaving. Mum yelled at him, called him names, said she made a mistake in loving him, told him he wasn't welcome to step foot in our house ever again, in our drive. She told him that because of him our lives were all messed up, how because of him her children would have to suffer from the memories of him leaving. I shouted at him, I was angry, I couldn't believe he was leaving. He smiled at us weakly and told us that the anger we were feeling he had expected and did deserve but that one day soon we'd all understand the real reason of him leaving. Curt told him to get out and leave already. Dad tried to hug us all goodbye but we all pushed him away. He opened the taxi door and looked back at us, waving. We just slammed the front door shut and I went and looked out of my bedroom window. I watched him put his suitcases in the back of the taxi and I watched him look back at the house. He saw me looking out of the window and blew a kiss at me but I just pulled the blinds down, giving him the middle finger. My family suffered for a while after that. We had no money so mum had to take up a job she didn't want. She still has that job despite how much she despises it and blames it all on dad. Well, not anymore. She got enough money to buy a new house but with a big mortage. Curt goes out sometimes to work with Elliot and our life started over. We were fine, I was used to school by the second day despite how crud was today. And now this. Now the truth comes out.

I'd prefer it not to be true. I'd prefer my dad to be the jerk we thought he was, the self-centered, selfish, man we all believed in. I'd give anything for him to be that and still be alive. It hurts more because he was leaving for us. He left for our own good, so he was a nice man. He hadn't changed one bit and now that he was dead it pained me when I thought about how kind and sweet and gentle he had been.

I got up and walked into the bathroom, switching the light on. I looked at my reflection. I'd forgotten to take my mascara off so it was now running down my face, staining it. My cheeks were damp and glistened in the light (but not in a good, attractive way) and my nose was running at 100 miles an hour. I ran some luke-warm water in the sink and splashed it on my face, clearing it from the snot, mascara and tears that were clogging up my pores. I brushed my teeth again and swished some minty mouthwash around before going back into my room. I switched on my lava lamp and opened my laptop up. I began writing a poem about my dad and how much I loved and missed him.

You made me think you hated not loved me,

But now the truth is out I can clearly see,

My thoughts were wrong and you tried your best,

You were doing this for us and the rest.